I'm in college and in the closet. I try to stay away from the "is he straight or gay" game with friends; I usually don't dwell on possibly taking these sorts of relationships further. However, I am growing more impatient to come out of the closet 
and two guys I've known recently I have found myself falling for... But I am questioning if what I feel is just a result of me wanting to come out and is worth it to try to take these further or should I focus my efforts elsewhere (i.e. not waiting for a realtionship to just happen)?
One was in a class with me this past term and has always been very sweet... one time I e-mailed him an hour or so before class saying I couldn't make it to class (emergency) and if I could copy his notes later; he immediatly called me back offering to drive to my place to pick up my homework to turn in for me so I wouldn't have to later. That was very unexpected and I first fell for him a bit that day.
Since then we would study together and he did always seem to work... quite close... he would ask a lot of questions and always trusted what I said. Often he would look at me, smile and I would get sort of shy and have to look down because he was so cute. I brushed off any feelings as I normally do but, as I said, I was really starting to like him and it became a bit of a distraction, not good when we were studying for the final!
We got along well although I had been overworked/stressed that term and fear I may have came off as distant or maybe boring (due to constant work). However, I did make efforts to meet up with him later, see what he was doing over the weekend/that night a couple times then he would say he has schoolwork to do, I'd just reply "yea me too"... so the ball hasn't always been in my court, per se.
He's not very close to my major or group of friends so our "have a good summer" goodbyes after the final may very well have been the last. Which saddens me. But maybe that's best, we obviously didn't make a really strong connection (but then there's the feeling I barely tried). Why not cut it off there, right? Any further communication, even if he is gay, almost feels like asking for a second chance which is not a good feeling or circumstance....
The other guy is much closer to my group of friends and someone I will certianly see in the future regardless so I'm a bit uncomfortable giving as many details (and in order to make this shorter). I don't see him a lot but he is also very sweet and we can just talk about stuff much longer than we intended to, we will laugh a lot, and I feel very comfortable with him. He has never brought up a girlfriend which is a good sign (neither did the other guy btw), and recently he made the statement that he would be around this summer, I offered that we should hang out more, he agreed and I started coming up with stuff to do.
I just never thought that this was the right way to get into any serious relationship... because it's so complicated. Back to my original question: is this new obsession just my growing desire to come out? Is it worth it to try and contact the guy I otherwise may never see again, somehow try and "test the waters" with the relationship that is still going... or just refocus on something else?
and two guys I've known recently I have found myself falling for... But I am questioning if what I feel is just a result of me wanting to come out and is worth it to try to take these further or should I focus my efforts elsewhere (i.e. not waiting for a realtionship to just happen)?One was in a class with me this past term and has always been very sweet... one time I e-mailed him an hour or so before class saying I couldn't make it to class (emergency) and if I could copy his notes later; he immediatly called me back offering to drive to my place to pick up my homework to turn in for me so I wouldn't have to later. That was very unexpected and I first fell for him a bit that day.
Since then we would study together and he did always seem to work... quite close... he would ask a lot of questions and always trusted what I said. Often he would look at me, smile and I would get sort of shy and have to look down because he was so cute. I brushed off any feelings as I normally do but, as I said, I was really starting to like him and it became a bit of a distraction, not good when we were studying for the final!
We got along well although I had been overworked/stressed that term and fear I may have came off as distant or maybe boring (due to constant work). However, I did make efforts to meet up with him later, see what he was doing over the weekend/that night a couple times then he would say he has schoolwork to do, I'd just reply "yea me too"... so the ball hasn't always been in my court, per se.
He's not very close to my major or group of friends so our "have a good summer" goodbyes after the final may very well have been the last. Which saddens me. But maybe that's best, we obviously didn't make a really strong connection (but then there's the feeling I barely tried). Why not cut it off there, right? Any further communication, even if he is gay, almost feels like asking for a second chance which is not a good feeling or circumstance....
The other guy is much closer to my group of friends and someone I will certianly see in the future regardless so I'm a bit uncomfortable giving as many details (and in order to make this shorter). I don't see him a lot but he is also very sweet and we can just talk about stuff much longer than we intended to, we will laugh a lot, and I feel very comfortable with him. He has never brought up a girlfriend which is a good sign (neither did the other guy btw), and recently he made the statement that he would be around this summer, I offered that we should hang out more, he agreed and I started coming up with stuff to do.
I just never thought that this was the right way to get into any serious relationship... because it's so complicated. Back to my original question: is this new obsession just my growing desire to come out? Is it worth it to try and contact the guy I otherwise may never see again, somehow try and "test the waters" with the relationship that is still going... or just refocus on something else?
