Mirage
The JUB Illusion
I know by being bi, things can be more difficult when it comes to relationships. Except that you have to choose between two guys/girls, you also have to make the choice between a girl and a guy. The choice between a girl or a guy for me is measuring two total different fronts. Not only the gender difference makes it hard, but also the age ratio what attracts me isn’t the same at all.
When it comes to girls, I’m only attracted to girls of my own age. They’re on the same level when it comes to maturity in manner. Too bad for me that this region of girls is not interested in me. They only see me as a friend for friendship and not as a sexual partner on the long term. Girls who are interested, are those who are at least five years younger than me. I’ve tried to date them, but it only comes to one thing; me being an accessory to show to their friends and having sex as quick as possible. If your not the taste of their friends they just dump you and go to the next one. The same thing happens when you refuse having sex so quickly.
Guys my own age are for 90% acting like little children. Something that’s a big turn-off for me. An other problem what I’m having is the lack of gay people around me. There’s no gay-group things as far as I know near me. So I can’t surround myself with guys who like other guys. Even at my school, there’s only about five gay students who I don’t see often and don’t speak at all. Something I don’t mind, because they’re in not any thinkable way attractive for me.
Like most gay guys, I find it hard to tell if someone is gay/bi who doesn’t show any feminism. The obvious ones are too gay for me. It even grosses me out if they’re near me, let alone touching me. This holds me back to participate with gay activities, if I know where they were held.
The times that I’ve been to a gay bar, I got a lot of attention of all the men. It’s like I’m some celebrity who’s known for his single status. The atmosphere is okay and quite relaxing except on one thing, I’m getting touched all the time. The record is about five minutes without. Everywhere I walk or sit I hear guys talking to each other of how hot and pretty I look.
Now the part where the title refers to; I know that I’m not the ugliest guy in the world, but I’m not the next Brad Pitt or something. All these guys are just looking for someone where they can have fun with for only one night. Something I don’t want and girls don’t say anything about my appearance at all. They only say that I’m a nice guy. It’s not that I want to hear that I’m cute, pretty or whatever, but girls are only referring to my personality of that as a friend.
It’s like I can only be friends with girls and that I’m some hot guy when it comes to guys. How can I change it to make it more balanced?
When it comes to girls, I’m only attracted to girls of my own age. They’re on the same level when it comes to maturity in manner. Too bad for me that this region of girls is not interested in me. They only see me as a friend for friendship and not as a sexual partner on the long term. Girls who are interested, are those who are at least five years younger than me. I’ve tried to date them, but it only comes to one thing; me being an accessory to show to their friends and having sex as quick as possible. If your not the taste of their friends they just dump you and go to the next one. The same thing happens when you refuse having sex so quickly.
Guys my own age are for 90% acting like little children. Something that’s a big turn-off for me. An other problem what I’m having is the lack of gay people around me. There’s no gay-group things as far as I know near me. So I can’t surround myself with guys who like other guys. Even at my school, there’s only about five gay students who I don’t see often and don’t speak at all. Something I don’t mind, because they’re in not any thinkable way attractive for me.
Like most gay guys, I find it hard to tell if someone is gay/bi who doesn’t show any feminism. The obvious ones are too gay for me. It even grosses me out if they’re near me, let alone touching me. This holds me back to participate with gay activities, if I know where they were held.
The times that I’ve been to a gay bar, I got a lot of attention of all the men. It’s like I’m some celebrity who’s known for his single status. The atmosphere is okay and quite relaxing except on one thing, I’m getting touched all the time. The record is about five minutes without. Everywhere I walk or sit I hear guys talking to each other of how hot and pretty I look.
Now the part where the title refers to; I know that I’m not the ugliest guy in the world, but I’m not the next Brad Pitt or something. All these guys are just looking for someone where they can have fun with for only one night. Something I don’t want and girls don’t say anything about my appearance at all. They only say that I’m a nice guy. It’s not that I want to hear that I’m cute, pretty or whatever, but girls are only referring to my personality of that as a friend.
It’s like I can only be friends with girls and that I’m some hot guy when it comes to guys. How can I change it to make it more balanced?