why anal sex is so painful for me?

[ringu20]

I can' have anal sex as bottom. Because it hurts so much. Even if i use lubrication, it hurts so much. And i don't feel any pleasure. All i feel is pain. It's like i have diarrhea and try to hold it.

And i have a question. Someone's anus can be tighter than others? Because i feel like i have very tight anus. Thus, i think it causes pain during anal sex.

What do you think?

 

[aaggii]

It´s all muscles and like any muscle, it can learn. Buy yourself a small Dildo use a LOT of lubricant and gradually switch to bigger and bigger sizes.

It might sound painful, but experience is key. And you have to start somewhere; in time, it will get better.

 

[heir-to-the-wind]

You might think anal sex is so taboo that you clench up too much so that penetration is difficult even with lube. Or it may be the fear of pain that causes you to resist, thus making penetration hurt more.

 

[KaraBulut]

....It's like i have diarrhea and try to hold it...

Without realizing it, you've described the problem. Pleasure in anal sex is dependent upon relaxation. The more tensed up you are, the less likely you are to enjoy it.

 

[eastofeden]

Whether or not it was initially..your mind is in the way now....

Our minds are powerful...and the biggest sex organ we have...so you need to find a way to let go and relax...and your mind is the key to doing that....

Have you ever heard the term "Free your mind...the rest will follow"?

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Not an expert on receiving anal sex by any means, but I find it helps when I clean out beforehand.
Also, I use poppers, which works very well for me, but probably isn´t very good for you.

 

[jockofstrap]

As novice here as bottom. Bought butt plug to train my ass for upcoming fuck session, also make use Poppers, lots lube, relax and get the enjoyment as bottom.

 

[monetlaud]

I'm on the same boat, very rarely has sex (as a bottom) been enjoyable for me until recently when I discovered poppers. Maybe I haven't learned how to relax my ass muscles yet but once the poppers kick in, bottoming becomes the most wonderful ecstatic experience in the world. Though I would not recommend poppers by any means. Not sure how other people are, but I recently developed nasty burns after having used them a few times this month-- I guess the fumes have a way of eating at your skin bit by bit until it becomes raw. I've decided to quit them all together so I myself am back to square one when it comes to bottoming...

Side note: most times its the men with larger schlongs that know how to make it hurt the least. 8.5 inches vs 5.5 inches made a big difference and not in the way that you'd logically expect...

 

[palemale]

Side note: most times its the men with larger schlongs that know how to make it hurt the least. 8.5 inches vs 5.5 inches made a big difference and not in the way that you'd logically expect...

I agree. The guys with the biggest cocks seem to know best how to give pleasure when topping. I've generally found men with smaller cocks take less time rimming or doing other things to get me relaxed. I've experienced discomfort with guys who are only 7" and not so thick. But I've been with guys who are 9" or 9.5" and thick, but take their time, rim me like crazy, and enter me with minimal discomfort.

 

[Harker]

You could enjoy it by trying it more as others have said, but it's possible it's just not your cup of tea. And there's no shame in that.

 

[TX-Beau]

I don't like to bottom. It does nothing for me. That said, I will bottom for my guy, because it makes him happy, and that's a good thing.

SO, you start by training your sphincter. Buy some plugs, you can start with small ones, and the whole bottle of lube is not quite enough. Lube, prep, get him to eat it out, finger it, generally relax you, and it will be easier. It may never be what a true bottom experiences, but you can put out for your guy and make him happy.