Why did my ex bf message me on Facebook?

[confus]

After not hearing or seeing one another after two months, my ex bf messaged me out of the blue the other night asking me whats up and we made arrangements to hook up but it never went through.

A few nights later we started talking a little more on Facebook messenger. He told me about his recent move to the coast and his new job. My ex told me his bf moved out with him with him and my ex said he knows he wasn't faithful with me but he is trying to be with his new bf. Then he went on to say that he'll be in town next week and asked me how work was going for me. I told him that I was happy for him regarding his move and new job and I hope he and his new bf are happy together. However he hasn't written back or read my message. My message shows as "send" but not "delivered" so I'm not sure what that means.

I'm just glad that my ex bf has finally admitted to cheating on me. But I just don't understand why after this period of not hearing from him and him saying he wanted nothing to do with me back six months ago, he messaged me out of the blue.

Any thoughts? Anyone else had this happen?

 

[sixthson]

If you don't know, imagine how difficult it is for us to know. There could be many reasons. Maybe he misses you, maybe has unresolved feelings for you, maybe he feels guilty? Who knows, but in your first sentence you said you made arrangement to hook up. Hook up usually means sex, right? Then a few days later he admits to cheating on you but doesn't plan to do that with the new guy.
Talk about sending mixed messages. From what you said, it sounds like it's only a matter of time before he does to the new guy what he did to you.
I would just suggest you not let yourself fall for him. He is an ex for a reason, right?

When you combine this with your other thread on being obsessed with your ex, this can't be healthy for you. Time to forget him for good.

 

[KaraBulut]

...he went on to say that he'll be in town next week...

...I'm just glad that my ex bf has finally admitted to cheating on me. But I just don't understand why after this period of not hearing from him and him saying he wanted nothing to do with me back six months ago, he messaged me out of the blue.

Any thoughts? Anyone else had this happen?

The hint is that he's going to be in town. Other than that, you should not care why he's contacted you. You have control over the situation and whether you want to hear from him and whether you want to see him or not.

If you feel his confession about his infidelity is sincere and you're looking for closure and to put a nail in the coffin, then have lunch with him and be sure you have your exit strategy planned so that you don't get dragged into more drama with him.

If you are already over it, then wish him well and avoid talking with him or seeing him in person. Hopefully his acknowledgement about the cheating is enough to provider closure so that you can move on.

 

[eastofeden]

There is most likely some kind of a connection with the two of you that either or neither or both might not even realize...it may or may not be a "good" connection...

I think you have a clear choice..maybe a hard one..

You can reconnect....or not....

The rest might be a roller coaster ride. Some people like roller coaster rides...even need them. Are you one of those guys? If you are..you have a lot of company.....

In the end though.,.the dynamics between both of you are unique to both of you so the only advice I can give is to be conscious of your choice...and make one..and whatever choice you make...enjoy your ride...but don't blame anyone else if the ride isn't what you may have been hoping for...

...because it is OK to make a choice...and it is OK to make a mistake....just own the choice and whatever happens because of that choice so you can move on easily...

What we don't own has the power to keep us there and own us instead...possibly forever...and taking ownership of your choice yourself has the power to release you from "that place"...and that is always a much better option...

 

[jaysizzles]

Seems to me he regrets his infidelities, has learned from it, and now wants to be a better person....kind of an atonement.

Since he's told you he's trying to be faithful to his current bf, I would assume he has no intentions when he's back in town other than just lunch or something, and probably he's looking for a sign that you forgive him. Something he wants to ease his conscience. Whether you want to give that to him is totally up to you. Seeing him again and reflecting on your relationship, hearing about his current one, etc...do you really want to go through all that and continue a friendship with him? Put your feelings ahead of his right now and do what is best for you.

 

[confus]

Seems to me he regrets his infidelities, has learned from it, and now wants to be a better person....kind of an atonement.

Since he's told you he's trying to be faithful to his current bf, I would assume he has no intentions when he's back in town other than just lunch or something, and probably he's looking for a sign that you forgive him. Something he wants to ease his conscience. Whether you want to give that to him is totally up to you. Seeing him again and reflecting on your relationship, hearing about his current one, etc...do you really want to go through all that and continue a friendship with him? Put your feelings ahead of his right now and do what is best for you.

Yes, if he has a boyfriend then I also have no intentions. I did start to think in the last couple of months that he may have had a bf.

I do feel somewhat relieved now that he finally admitted to his cheating. I wasn't sure why he was telling me that he was trying not to cheat on his current bf at first. He still hasn't been online to Facebook because the last message I sent him still shows as "sent" and not "delivered". Maybe he blocked my messages so I still haven't heard back from him.

I'm not sure how I feel. I did start missing him again a few days ago but those feelings have gone away. I did look on his facebook profile and it showed a post on there from his mom about how if your bf or husband says anything rude to you, to write have him write it down on a note and give it to his mother and if he can't, then he shouldn't be saying it to you. So maybe he and his current bf are having problems. I don't feel real jealous about him being with someone else which I find surprising however. I would like to be friends again with my ex but stay strictly friends. No sex or relationship. Doubt that'll happen though.

 

[offthewall14420]

He wants a closure fuck.

 

[confus]

Well I still haven't heard back from him nor has my message been "delivered" nor read so I'm guessing that may be the last time I ever hear from him again.

 

[kallipolis]

Well I still haven't heard back from him nor has my message been "delivered" nor read so I'm guessing that may be the last time I ever hear from him again.

Now you can move on with the rest of your life, knowing that your present, and future life is filled with opportunity.

 

[Telstra]

The hint is that he's going to be in town. Other than that, you should not care why he's contacted you. You have control over the situation and whether you want to hear from him and whether you want to see him or not.

If you feel his confession about his infidelity is sincere and you're looking for closure and to put a nail in the coffin, then have lunch with him and be sure you have your exit strategy planned so that you don't get dragged into more drama with him.

If you are already over it, then wish him well and avoid talking with him or seeing him in person. Hopefully his acknowledgement about the cheating is enough to provider closure so that you can move on.

Yes that is the hint.
He want to know if confus is going to serve/invite him or something.

 

[offthewall14420]

... and Facebook is evil.

 

[TX-Beau]

You seem to have been very busy.