Why Men Cheat

[Something Else]

i stumbled upon this read, this morning.

have been reading this off and on. Though it was written with the male-female dynamics in mind, I'm finding some of these thoughts/comments rather enlightening.

Especially, the "To Get Out" section.

Since I've never cheated in any of my relationships, I've always wondered what goes through the mind of one that does???

That section actually summarizes what I was experiencing to a tee!

Though I would call that kind of guy a passive-aggressive saboteur.

anyways, here's the link...

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/2/why-men-cheat;_ylt=AsahXX3mfO4WzM7k4BiKZuCrJNIF

 

[kurtwild]

who did ever say that humans are monogamous?
ofcours they cheat its in theyr nature.
and its not bad.

 

[FirePhoenix]

Men are all sluts!!!!!

 

[RenaissanceMan]

who did ever say that humans are monogamous?
ofcours they cheat its in theyr nature.
and its not bad.

Well yes it is bad when someone hides something from someone they like to say they love. It may be part of their nature to go hopping around though...doesn't mean it helps the world work in the way it does now. People perhaps are somewhat non-monogamous by nature, but they are also jealous by nature.

 

[Something Else]

Although I'm not attracted to this type, I'm cool with men (or women for that matter) that enjoy sex and take it for it's physical pleasure--as long as they are up front about that.

My bane of contention with your assertion is (that i'm gathering from you) that it's okay to be unfaithful/disloyal and/or cheat--because it's in your nature?!?!?!

Which implies deception, lies and being mislead are all okay???



My reply is simply this:

if you already know your nature, then don't engage into an exclusive or monogamous relationship. Invariably, your true colors will emerge over time.

 

[kurtwild]

yea they are jealous by nature cos they want things-people to belong to them.
being jealous is bad.
many people are trying to be loyal and good and not cheat.thats crazy in my opinion why do they push them selfs in something that is supposed to be 'right"

 

[Orlandude]

who did ever say that humans are monogamous?
ofcours they cheat its in theyr nature.
and its not bad.

I disagree. It IS bad when you've made a commitment to the contrary. Simple solution. Don't make commitments you have no intentions of keeping. Unless you have an "open" relationship where it is agreed from the get-go that you are both going to roam, "cheating" is unacceptable. It only serves to create unnecessary pain and breeds the usual sneaking around and lying and hiding. Doesn't say much for ones character...or lack of. I feel that if I can't have an "honest" relationshp, I don't want one. So many people are so quick to jump into a relationship and have no idea what that commitment means...and don't seem to care. A day will come when that attitude will backfire and then it's too late.

 

[BrandonSBCA]

I hate men who cheat, and a lot of men will lie and say they want a monogamous relationship, the only way to tell is if they are faithful all the way to death.

 

[sixthson]

who did ever say that humans are monogamous?
ofcours they cheat its in theyr nature.
and its not bad.

Bullshit! Sounds like an excuse to cheat.

 

[Christopher123]

Men are all sluts!!!!!

Wooooooo yeah, baby!

Oh, sorry... ~cough~

No, seriously - I don't like cheating simply because of the morality issue.

Now, if the guy is an asshole and cheats on me first then I'll tell him to piss off and then get out of the relationship.

lol, gawd, that reminds me of this guy I was seeing once. It wasn't a totally serious relationship, but I'm still the type of person to stick with just one at a time and he told me he was the same way.

Not!

I went to his place on a day I always went there, except I'd gotten off work earlier than usual, so he wasn't expecting me. I go in the house and open his bedroom door and there he is, in bed with someone else. I just stood there with my hand still on the doorknob and both him and this other guy look at me. He sighed and said, "Ohhhh fuck."

I was like, "Are you having a good time baby?"

He said nothing. Just moved off of this guy he was on top of. I was pissed. But I stayed calm and was extremely snotty about the whole thing. I didn't throw a tantrum, I just stood there watching him on purpose. To make him uncomfortable. I had brought some dinner with me, so after standing there for a few minutes, I said, "Oh, by the way, babysweets, your dinner is on the kitchen table."

I slammed the door to the bedroom closed and headed out of the house to leave. The funniest part is he was chasing me through the house and clear out to the driveway with a sheet wrapped around himself yelling, "Chris! Don't you DARE get in that car and drive away!"

I was like, "Oh, excuse me? And what would you have me do, stay here and join the sex party? I don't think so. Go on back inside and fuck your new bitch."

I got in my car and left.

No, I wasn't happy, but...... just an example of what cheating can bring you and how it hurts other people. I was calm and collected and being a deliberate snot to him while I was there. But I cried all the way home.

 

[JackFTwist]

Cheating is bad, because it is the physical expression of a lie.

well said.

Men cheat because they fear death.

 

[Homewrecker]

Cheating is fun and its a HUGE rush!!! Makes the sex a lot more exciting!!!

 

[spreadeagle]

What really gets up my nose whenever they have these 'Why are men such bastards?' episodes on Oprah or Dr. Phil is the gender disjunction in definitions of cheating. Men tend to think that cheating is when you stick your dick in someone-else's anatomy; women tend to think that cheating occurs when their partner looks at, thinks about, meets privately, touches or kisses another person, or when they look at porn or go into a chat room - in fact it's any time not spent focusssing obsessively on their partner.

In my view the women's stance is totally unrealistic and shows how little they understand the psychological make-up of the person they have married or the meaning of monogamy. I tend to side with kurtwild: monogamy is a perfectly valid choice but it is not a natural instinct.

The whole point of commitment in a relationship is that you undertake not to act on your instinctive biological urges. It is folly to think that temptation disappears just because you said 'I do'. The more tempted you are, and the more often you withstand that temptation, then the stronger your demonstration of commitment. Commitment that is never tempted is hardly worthy of the name.

Life would be a lot easier if expectations of commitment and definitions of cheating were clarified on the first date.

 

[HighParkLover]

Cheating is fun and its a HUGE rush!!! Makes the sex a lot more exciting!!!

Homewrecker your are hilarious.... roflmaoooooo

I have no real answer to this question as I almost cheated on my partner recently but I didnt. I think too many people confuse Sex for Love. Sex and Love are two different things.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Men cheat for the very same reason dogs lick their balls: they can.

Women cheat and do so very massively, too.

I have grown to believe that men were simply hard-wired to spread their seed as far and as wide as possible.

Equally so, women were apparently hard-wired to seek for the male with the best genetic attributes to be the biological father of their children, while looking for the wealthiest and possibly most powerful male to act as the rearing/caring father.

If you espouse monogamy and feel happy with it, you have got millions of years of human evolution to support your view. And you should be happy with your choice, if you really feel it to be YOUR choice.

It has never been mine. And I hope, it never will be.

SC

 

[conrad]

Come on!!!! Is sex just a game?

What then is winning?

Or are such questions irrelevant and even impertinent?