Why would he do this?

[gymrat100]

It is a learning experience I agree. But, it's hard to see who people really are. I was thinking that I was concerned with my image but mostly the image I have for myself. I am ashamed that I fell hard for a homophobic, insecure, narcissist. I have always felt the person you like is a reflection of who you are. And, this bothers me. Why would I like that? Who wants to like a homophobe that much? I felt like I was a horrible gay person. That's where most of my depression comes from. Then I feel empathy for him because I feel he's most likely closeted. Then I apologize to him because I feel that I want to help him then I realize I put myself second and I spiral downward. I want to go back to who I was before I knew him. I was strong. Confident. Now I second guess myself. But, I will get past that.

 

[backpacker]

He was hiding his homophobic side from you, so you didn't fall for that. Some people are like an open book, while others take a long time to truly get to know them. People who have issues with their sexuality often take a step or two out of the closet, then go running back in. Don't be so hard on yourself. This is really more about his issues then anything you did or didn't do. You were still in the "getting to know him" stage. It's not like you stayed in a long term relationship with him after knowing these things. It was a hard lesson to learn, but one that most of us have had to learn. It certainly doesn't make you a horrible gay person. This may have shaken your confidence temporarily, but in the long run it will help make it stronger. You have learned a lot from the experience. Stop beating yourself up over things and realize this happens to good people all the time.