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Will he ever grow balls?

E

evanrick

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hey i need to ask everyones opinion. i know this married guy whose wife NEEDS to be involved in every single thing her husband does. she has to be called at certain times if hes out of the house. she needs access to all his passwords/emails/accounts/cell phone/computer/bank account and hes bitched out if he ever forgets to call her and needs to rush home if her stomach feels bad. hes not allowed to do anything with anyone unless she approves first and hes not allowed out by himself. the only way he can have friend over is if she meets them, but she doesnt want strangers coming over to their place, and if they do, she has to be there.


every little thing upsets her and its his job to correct it..are a lot of relationships like this? i dont think i need to mention that shes unemployed and quit her last job because it was too stressful. she relies completely on him for financial support.
 
A lot of relationships where the trust has been broken by at some point can end up looking like that. If he's ever cheated on her, or she's cheated on him, then those sort of behaviours aren't unusual
 
The guy sounds like a person that is totally controlled by his wife..

If he did not like it,well then he could leave the marriage.. but then most likely he'd find another woman that treated him the same way..


Too bad for him.. but then I figure he likes to be dominated by a woman.. otherwise he'd not be in that sort of relatioship..

Sounds sad to me, but if it makes him happy, well, who am I to judge?

Same thing often happens with a guy to guy relatiionship..
 
Sounds like their relationship is broken, but obviously he likes it that way.
 
rareboy said:
Sounds like their relationship is broken, but obviously he likes it that way.
Click to expand...

QFT.

For every person who is mentally ill in this way, there is an enabler.

Both of them need counseling.
 
Or maybe he wont leave her because he doesn't believe he can find someone else, and is afraid to live alone?
 
Puzuzzu said:
Or maybe he wont leave her because he doesn't believe he can find someone else, and is afraid to live alone?
Click to expand...

Or he's afraid she'll bankrupt him in the divorce. And they often do.
 
evanrick said:
hey i need to ask everyones opinion. i know this married guy whose wife NEEDS to be involved in every single thing her husband does. she has to be called at certain times if hes out of the house. she needs access to all his passwords/emails/accounts/cell phone/computer/bank account and hes bitched out if he ever forgets to call her and needs to rush home if her stomach feels bad. hes not allowed to do anything with anyone unless she approves first and hes not allowed out by himself. the only way he can have friend over is if she meets them, but she doesnt want strangers coming over to their place, and if they do, she has to be there.


every little thing upsets her and its his job to correct it..are a lot of relationships like this? i dont think i need to mention that shes unemployed and quit her last job because it was too stressful. she relies completely on him for financial support.
Click to expand...

It sounds like she is textbook this:

Anxious-preoccupied attachment
People who are anxious or preoccupied with attachment tend to agree with the following statements: "I want to be completely emotionally intimate with others, but I often find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I am uncomfortable being without close relationships, but I sometimes worry that others don't value me as much as I value them." People with this style of attachment seek high levels of intimacy, approval, and responsiveness from their partners. They sometimes value intimacy to such an extent that they become overly dependent on their partners—a condition colloquially termed clinginess. Compared to securely attached people, people who are anxious or preoccupied with attachment tend to have less positive views about themselves. They often doubt their worth as a partner and blame themselves for their partners' lack of responsiveness. People who are anxious or preoccupied with attachment may exhibit high levels of emotional expressiveness, worry, and impulsiveness in their relationships.

(full link here, but its lengthy)

She needs therapy to re-establish a secure personality.
 
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