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Wishful thinking?

Eagle653

Eagle653

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I don't know what to think because what happened could have meant anything. If I fancied him, I would have not only followed up on his double-meaning comments and offers, but offered a few of my own.

The whole night seemed to be a series of mixed messages. Your thread title is so right--mixed messages? Who knows. Alcohol can do weird things, but even after sleeping it off, he seemed to be Mr. Mixed Bag Man.

The only thing you can do at this point is follow up. How, depends on many factors like opportunity, his mood, yours, and timing. You're going to have to navigate this mine-field carefully.

In short, be available and steer things toward what you want to happen. Don't be afraid of success here.
 
I think there were many mixed signals and mixed feelings. He could just consider you like a best friend that he's totally comfortable with. If you are reading his signals properly, he's probably struggling with the same issues you are. He may have feelings for you, but is confused by them and afraid to act on them.

Play it by ear. Hang out with him some more, one on one. See what happens. Don't be afraid to react to or initiate the flirting. I think only time will tell what one drunken night meant.
 
:corn: Wow, what a read.

How does your friend act when he is sober? As in after that party? If he still hints he likes you when he is sober, then I don't think you should have any reason to knock back his offers...
Good luck!
 
All the signals were there that he's interested in you.

You seemed to give him similar signals.

He invited you to share his bed; you refused.

He got hurt.

He may make future advances, but I'd bet the ball is in your court now.
 
He's a three beer queer.

If he wants to fuck you when he's sober, be sure to take him up on it.
 
Re: "The ball's in your court."

Yes, that is what it means.

Even if he's really interested in you, he may feel that you turning down his offer to sleep with him ends the matter.

Or, maybe he'll give it another go.

If he doesn't and you want to pursue something with him, it'll probably be nesessary for you to encourage him.

Just be really sure what you want before pursuing anything.

And friendships have been known to cool or even end after two friends have sex.
 
Oh no, I hear a song in thbe background.
"People who use people,
are the only people I know."
No thinking in thei thread,
it is totally neanderthal brain stem.
Sick stuff.
Shep+
 
The real problem, you want to address here is to make up your own mind.

a) you want to have sex with Hunter. He is a friend and that won't change anything;
b) you do not want to have sex with Hunter. He is a friend and that will change everything.

>>>> Choose One Only

---
I think that the ball is now definitely in your court and it is now your turn to act.

I also think that he was NOT sending mixed messages. Short of saying that he wanted to have sex with you in as many words, he did absolutely everything.

He showed affection in public.

He made sure, you were not going to hook up with any girl out there and disappear for the night.

He did not jump on the occasion to get some pussy, once an apparent opportunity presented itself.

He insisted that 'bros come b4 the hos'. Yeah, sure, but not with a str8 dude, who is determined to get as much pussy as he can get. (You could have gone home or bunked with someone else, you know?) The unwritten rule of college life says that, if a dude is about to score, all the previously made arrangements are nil and void and his friends sort themselves out and wait for him to return from his little escapade. (You were not really turning homeless for the night, were you?)

He invited you to his bed. You really did not know, what you wanted at that time and went for the rejection.

Putting it briefly, except for directly jumping your bones, this dude did everything in the book.

He protected you, your friendship and yeah, he protected his own ass, too. (Sue him? I don't think so.)

---
Leave out, I am 'bi' or anything. Put your best moves on him and see how he reacts.

He does not have to be a fully fledged gay queen to be allowed to suck on your dick, when you come to think about it. He probably only wants to give it a try with his best friend and frankly, you seem to be perfectly willing to oblige.

Do not draw any far-reaching conclusions out of his behavior. Sex happens and so does love. You'll know it in your right time.

SC
 
man the part when he said

"you didn't sleep over, you just stayed the night"

that's when I knew for sure that you gotta make something happen. I guess I can understand you being scared, but I would probably die and go to heaven if a guy I liked like that invited me to sleep in his bed.

keep us updated.
 
well I already responded with the long version of my little story of falling for a friend... so I don't wanna post it all again, maybe you could find it somehow... but.... long story short


it didn't end well. so my advice is give it TIME.... thats the only thing that will tell if your feelings are real, nothing more embarassing than admitting your love only to make the whole relationship awkward and strained and now I don't even have him as a friend... well we are still, just we never talk anymore.

so i suggest keeping the relationship how it normally is. have a good time with your friend, if anything he'll be the one who can't take it and tell you or after time and you know your feelings are real then make a move.....

my mistake was thinking "i dont want to go my whole life regretting this," so I rushed everything.... just give it time as i've said,

hope that helps!
 
I'm dealing with a similar situation with a friend right now, and my advice to you is TAKE IT SLOW AND BE A FRIEND FIRST. I have feelings for him and he has expressed similar feelings and regard to my well-being also, but I am taking it very slow. It is very frustrating, and yes I must agree their actions can confusing. I would rather have him as my friend than anything else.
 
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