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Yes, Again

H

Homoerectus

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Make an appointment and see your doctor for a complete physical. He may be able to find a reason for your depression. You are describing classic symptom of depression. He should be able to give you some medicine to help.
 
where are u from? your whole situation is just so different from mine and i really can not relate to it at all. about the only ppl im not out to are my parents and grandparents. most of my cousins know. brother, friends, and coworkers all know and i am completely free around them to talk about hot guys. though, i do wish i had more gay friends. at the moment, i have no one that's gay that i actually call a friend.
 
Can I suggest something and not be yelled at?

First if you are still living at home I can only hope you will at some point in the near future be able to leave the nest. It sounds to me that you are still trying to fit your families mold of what they want you to be. It will not work even if you were straight they would find something to nit-pick about. That is just what families do.

Second don't worry about saying to much if he is a good friend that should not matter and that little quip about you being drama bitchy queen (<--exaggeration) was not very nice. You should not have to worry about what you open up about to a friend. They are always suppose to be there for you.

But it seems like a lot of your negativity surrounds your family. It may sound harsh but in my opinion you may need to distantance yourself from them. I did that and never felt better. My family is DRAMA central and I really do not want nor need that in my life.

In closing I hope this year is blindingly brilliant for you and you make leaps and bounds in your life. Keep your chin up dear heart and do not ever let anyone get you down.(*8*)
 
lunarus said:
Can I suggest something and not be yelled at?

First if you are still living at home I can only hope you will at some point in the near future be able to leave the nest. It sounds to me that you are still trying to fit your families mold of what they want you to be. It will not work even if you were straight they would find something to nit-pick about. That is just what families do.

Second don't worry about saying to much if he is a good friend that should not matter and that little quip about you being drama bitchy queen (<--exaggeration) was not very nice. You should not have to worry about what you open up about to a friend. They are always suppose to be there for you.

But it seems like a lot of your negativity surrounds your family. It may sound harsh but in my opinion you may need to distantance yourself from them. I did that and never felt better. My family is DRAMA central and I really do not want nor need that in my life.

In closing I hope this year is blindingly brilliant for you and you make leaps and bounds in your life. Keep your chin up dear heart and do not ever let anyone get you down.(*8*)
Click to expand...

One of the better posts I've read. ..|
 
I agree with lunaris. It sounds to me like living at home is making your situation worse than it really needs to be. It's hard to move your life on when you're still stuck fighting the same issues over and over with those who are slow to change. Maybe some distance is just what you (and your family) need?
 
i agree too. i myself am just at home until my college loans are paid off (almost there! yipee!) and i save maybe 8-10 thousand to have a good cushion. i freakin can not wait for about may.
 
I agree with Lunarus. You need to realize that some members of your family may not feel comfortable about homosexuality. That doesn't mean they don't love you, or that someday they won't come around. I came out to my family way back in the early 1970's ,and it took many years for my siblings to accept me for who I am, when I first came out to them 9 (,at age 19), I was asked to never tell my dad because he had a bad heart and it would kill him. My Dad lived for another 25 years,however, and though our relationship was difficult when I was young,we became friends as I got older. For many years my Dad couldn't talk to me about my gayness,and I didn't push the issue. But he was always very nice to my boyfriend. And before he died he made a point of telling me that he was happy that I had made such a good match. Now, 6 out of my 7 siblings are comfortable with my sexuality, and my guy and I go on vacations with my sisters and their partners. And my sister who still has a problem with it (she is a Baptist minister's wife) lets me know often that she loves me just the same. So all I'm saying is family is family, and people can change their viewpoints. So hang in there,Antares, cuz it sounds like in most ways you don't have a problem being gay. You are young,attractive, and intelligent--so whether you see it or not your life is pretty good. So be young and enjoy it! Hang out with your gay friends more--have fun,and soon you'll meet someone to love.
Take care and good luck, bb(*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*)

P.S. If you continue to be depressed, you really should see a doctor as well as your therapist.
 
I note that many of your posts have an obsessive air about them.

You need to distract yourself from your predictable routine.

The little information that you have offered us on your circumstances, suggests that your environment is not impacting negatively on your life.

I recommend that you resist the temptation to obsess on any matter.

Create a hobby or two, and focus on enjoying life as a human being. Our sexual person should not create a separate identity, apart from our self.

When you learn to become more satisfied with your privileged lot, you will begin to discern that your life will offer you opportunities in order to reveal more of your sexual person.

In advanced societies it is clear that possessing too many advantages, can lead people into believing that small issues are more than they actually are. The imagination can run riot, even to the point where paranoid over reactions can manifest in hysterical episodes.

Should there be a voluntary help group in your community that assists those in need, it would be creative and therapeutic for you to offer your services to those who are clearly not sharing in the advantages that you are failing to appreciate.
 
You may have a chemical imbalance too. Have you considered talking to your doctor or therapist about the possibility of anti depressants?
 
it certainly would not hurt to have a complete exam with a doctor -and a doctor that you tell exactly what you have told us. antares, good luck. i've read your posts before and have seen the depression syndrome there.
ding
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunarus View Post
Can I suggest something and not be yelled at?

First if you are still living at home I can only hope you will at some point in the near future be able to leave the nest. It sounds to me that you are still trying to fit your families mold of what they want you to be. It will not work even if you were straight they would find something to nit-pick about. That is just what families do.

Second don't worry about saying to much if he is a good friend that should not matter and that little quip about you being drama bitchy queen (<--exaggeration) was not very nice. You should not have to worry about what you open up about to a friend. They are always suppose to be there for you.

But it seems like a lot of your negativity surrounds your family. It may sound harsh but in my opinion you may need to distantance yourself from them. I did that and never felt better. My family is DRAMA central and I really do not want nor need that in my life.

In closing I hope this year is blindingly brilliant for you and you make leaps and bounds in your life. Keep your chin up dear heart and do not ever let anyone get you down.
One of the better posts I've read.
[/QUOTE





he is so right maybe the only thing i would say is just chill out some
Click to expand...
 
A few points....

I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, clothes on my back, a car and friends who are there for me. And, yet, I'm still depressed.
Click to expand...

Nobody ever said depression only affected the homeless, poor, etc. Depression has nothing to do with this. And I find it insensitive that a friend would say this. Some of the most depressed people I find are people who "have it all" from many outside eyes. We all have our challenges but to each a different one.

Create a hobby or two, and focus on enjoying life as a human being. Our sexual person should not create a separate identity, apart from our self.
Click to expand...

I really like this comment. Mainly about the separate identity. But are there things that you enjoy? If you're depressed, maybe not right now. But I'd encourage you to find things that you enjoy (or did enjoy) and try to get involved in them. I agree that it is possible to overanalyze your sexuality issue. Much of it just kind of falls into place with time and you can't rush that.

I also agree that maybe the homophobic family is stunting the personal growth. Even though you don't live with them (you do your brothers), constantly being around people who are homophobic is hard and draining. I'd say spend some more time with your gay and gay friendly friends.

The therapist is a great idea and maybe talk about antidepressents with him/her.

As to being drama around friends... I don't know how I feel. Generally, if my friends tell me that, they're right. It's different if you're clinically depressed... but I find just pretending to be happy and having things go well sometimes actually makes it happen for me. So when people ask how's it going, I'll often say "great" even if the real answer is "terrible". Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't for me. But it might be something to try... I don't think it hurts anything to try pretending for a bit. But that may be just me.
 
When I was depressed...I guess technically I still am since I'm taking anti-depressants...pretending to be happy made things worse for me.
 
Maybe you should move to another town

away from your family
because where you are you still have them basically in your life every day

just a thought

also
 
Well, I am bi-polar and it has been a hard ride for me. I once asked my psychiatrist if I would be abel to get away from medicines and he replied (he has the absolute worst bedside maner, but he is like the best diagnostition in the state and medicator) well if you took heart medication you would not be able to stop taking it, ok? I still laugh at the way he talks to me. So, more to the point don't get ahead of yourself, I didn't even look into my mental health untill my therapist one day said: "you know your emotional reaction is somewhat over the edge of what I would expect the range of emotional reaction for this therapy would be, may I suggest that you might want to consider going to a psychiatrist to see if you need to be diagnosed? so she knew something was wrong beyond the normal for me and that was when I went. Depresion is an awful thing to deal with and I want you to know that if you are depressed please don't feel more depressed because you can't seem to "shake it". I sort of ramble a lot, oh well. sorry bout that...
 
This will probably get me slammed, but have you considered going back to church? Not, of course, just to make Grandma happy, but because life can seem a heck of a lot easier when you have a relationship with God. It doesn't change the situations you are in, but it helps create more inner strength and peace to deal with life.
 
Antares, I know that I am not in position to give advise. I just want to let you know that I am in a similar situation with the church, my family (although I am not out yet, but the remarks they have on gays are nothing to cheer about), my friends. I feel so broken and torn inside that I cry sometimes in secret (quietly in showers and bed) and I know that it is not just the case of SAD.

But I've also met someone (another man who is gay) who is supportive, hopefully he can help me along. I can only hope that you will feel better too.
 
Sounds like a damn good therapist to me... esp the emotional anguish of a 17 year old comment. I came to that conclusion a while back. So it sounds like you are in good hands... that's good to know.
 
Antares, I think you are depressed because you have good reason to be. The people you love and depend upon for love and acceptance will not accept you for who you are nor allow you to express that freely. They know you are gay but they fight it and do not challenge their own preconceived notions and feelings about it in order to help you. They seem to be paying lip service to you but do not want to make any concessions on their part to help you integrate this gay part of you into their lives.

So the message over and over again is that you are not ok the way you are, that you have to change, not them. And if you already have any doubt about whether its ok or not ok to be gay, then its very difficult in this kind of an environment to pull yourself above the surface, feel the sunshine on your face, and see the dark water below for what it is.

I think you need someone to tell you that you are wonderful and beautiful exactly the way you are and that they love you every single day. And all of these situations with messages that tell you the opposite are understandably depressing.
 
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