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You don't want that!!!

  • Thread starter Thread starter peeonme
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peeonme

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About 6 months ago I was thinking of installing a half bath in my home. I told the plumber what I wanted and he said "you don't want that... then he tried to up sell me on things such as fixtures, a vanity and a commode. I just wanted him for the rough plumbing as I have remodeled baths before and it's no hard job to install sinks and commodes. This ended in him getting angry and walking away. He said "what do you know, you're just a fucking grass cutter". I was doing his lawn and fired him as a customer.

Now that I have decided to move instead I get remarks from friends such as "you don't want to live there". "too close to 8 mile road." Even today I had to tell my son that this isn't my first rodeo and I can do as I please.

What makes others think that they know what's best for the other guy?
 
Oooooooooh . . . you've touched on something that makes my blood boil. I think what they're really doing is a variation on what psychologisers call narcissism. They are treating you as if you were a sort of extension of themselves, or a puppet or dummy which they control. You hear parents playing this game with their children when they say things like, "I'm starting to feel cold now. Put your pullover on."

Advice I would give the young if I ever got asked: Just because your teachers and other adults have been in the world longer than you, it doesn't mean they know you better than you know yourself. It's interesting to see yourself as others see you, but what others see isn't necessarily the real you. Don't give them too much credit, they're not perfect, they've got their own hangups and demons and shortcomings; and sometimes when they tell you you what you really want, or what you ought to be doing, they're just trying to correct their own flaws by projecting them onto you. Or as we say in my part of the world, they're trying to deal with their own sh!t by throwing it in your face instead.

I think I've answered a different question from the one you asked, but never mind. That's my two bob's worth.
 
It sounds to me like it may be more a matter of manners. Of course, your plumber just sounds like an asshole who is unprofessional. If he couldn't afford to accept a small job, or preferred not to, then he should have demurred with an explanation that he didn't take on small jobs. A good businessman would have done that with an apology AND referred you to a colleague who did take on small jobs. Businessmen who are good guys like that can't beat back all the business a good reputation attracts.

As for the friends of Job who commented on your prospective new home choices, they are entitled to their own opinions of those sites, but good manners would have them ask about their qualms as questions, not as contradictions. "Isn't that a high crime area?" "That traffic would make me nervous, but you think it will be ok for you?" "Do you think the neighborhood is quiet compared to this one?"
 
I have told the dudes in the trailer park to look around... we are in a trailer park. I have seen drug raids, shootings, stabbings but not much theft. All crimes of pasion commited by people on booze or dope.
As for how far from 8 mile is enough, most Michigan towns in the northern part of the lower peninsula have drug and crime problems.
 
I seem to remember a creepy old man once told a group pf teens that they don't want to go to Camp Crystal Lake. They ignored him and look what happened.
 
I think that part of this is them offering advice, but they should do it in a nice way and not make it sound like an ultimatum.
 
Different people have different motives. I have had a problem with deceptive and manipulative straight women who pretended to be my friend to get into my pants for years and they had lots of "advice". I was naive in a way because I assumed since I was gay that it couldn't be the case when so many other people saw it (everyone but me) and warned me.

I should have listened to the warnings - I should NOT have listened to the manipulative and deceptive women - so advice can be good or bad.
 
Peloso said:
I seem to remember a creepy old man once told a group pf teens that they don't want to go to Camp Crystal Lake. They ignored him and look what happened.
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It all may be in the wording: who is anyone to tell others what they WANT or do NOT WANT.
If people used their, say, proper standar English to say something simple and direct like "there is a murderer on the loose in those woods"...
 
Rickrock said:
I think that part of this is them offering advice, but they should do it in a nice way and not make it sound like an ultimatum.
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What I said. People who are stupid will be stupid no matter what, but that's a different matter.
 
Essex Boy said:
Oooooooooh . . . you've touched on something that makes my blood boil. I think what they're really doing is a variation on what psychologisers call narcissism. They are treating you as if you were a sort of extension of themselves, or a puppet or dummy which they control. You hear parents playing this game with their children when they say things like, "I'm starting to feel cold now. Put your pullover on."

Advice I would give the young if I ever got asked: Just because your teachers and other adults have been in the world longer than you, it doesn't mean they know you better than you know yourself. It's interesting to see yourself as others see you, but what others see isn't necessarily the real you. Don't give them too much credit, they're not perfect, they've got their own hangups and demons and shortcomings; and sometimes when they tell you you what you really want, or what you ought to be doing, they're just trying to correct their own flaws by projecting them onto you. Or as we say in my part of the world, they're trying to deal with their own sh!t by throwing it in your face instead.

I think I've answered a different question from the one you asked, but never mind. That's my two bob's worth.
Click to expand...
I am rather pissed by the opposite, like when they ask you for a nice place to it, as if I could fathom their idea of "nice" or "food".
 
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