Your Boss Is Gay !

[Sunshine]

Tell him that his jokes are getting old. =/

Also, has he told you he liked you? If he hasn't it's kind of arrogant just to assume so.

 

[BlueD]

Does he mean anything when he's making the jokes? Or he is just a dirty-minded, funny guy and how do such comments make such a thread-whore like you embarrassed? (j/k)

Congrats on the new job opportunity...

(thanks again for the sig )

 

[Croynan]

Tell him that his jokes are getting old. =/

Also, has he told you he liked you? If he hasn't it's kind of arrogant just to assume so.

i find i have to agree with that last statement.

the job may be great. and you may do a fine job. but if the guy is going to be into sexually harrassing you, what is the point in taking the job? And my guess would be he is not going to stop until he gets his way - i. e. into your pants. Otherwise i would expect a rather short term of employment with this guy.

he has already told you enough about himself to alert you to the potential problems you will probably face.

i would think you would have more pride, respect and dignity in yourself then to walk into a potentially very unpleasant situation a what you have described.

but do keep us informed about what happens. that way i can find out just how wrong the comments by the local village idiot have been.​

eM.​

 

[LeoMikey]

The job itself might be great, but this guy is out of line....and you have'nt even started yet! Take this as a sign and don't take the job. Telling this guy to stop won't work, not for long anyhow. He's an adult who should know the proper way to act in a buisness situation. He sounds like the type that thinks because they have some power that they can behave anyway they want. There are plenty of other jobs out there, so don't worry. And if you wanted this job because it paid well, forget it. The money won't matter to you if you've got to be miserable everyday tolerating a dickhead on a power trip.

 

[Phydeaux]

I had to talk to one of my bosses a year ago about the same thing. He's bi and even though he's adorable in his own way, I just like to keep my private life and my work life separate. The talk went a little something like this:

Boss= Chris
James= Me

Enter James
Chris: Hey buddy, How you doin' today?
James: I've been kickin' ass all day, man!
Chris: (with a smile) I though so, 'cause you always look hotter when you have a good day...
James: This is true...and speaking of which... I need to talk to you in the back for a minute.
Chris: (eye-brow cocked) I'm sure you do.

Back Room
Chris: So, uh, what can I do for you?
James: It's about why you hired me.
Chris: You don't want to be a waiter?
James: Quite the contrary... I love my job, but did you know I was gay before you hired me?
Chris: Uhhh...
James: Le Lonnie told you didn't she...?
Chris: Yes... but what are you getting at?

James: The way you talk to me. The comments and the physical contact. I'm very uncomfortable with you being all over me at work. You're my boss; I'm here to work, 'cause I need to put myself through college.
Chris: So you don't like me is what you're saying...
James: Not at all. I think you're an awesome guy. You're kind. You're charming and I love your Latino accent, but this isn't about whether or not I think you're dating material. This is about me wanting to come in to do my job. From the second I walk in 'til the moment I leave you distract me from the tasks at hand. Most of all you need to keep your hands off me. This is a place of business, and there's no way I'm going to start getting treated like the boss' pet when all my co-workers start saying that I get special treatment.
Chris: Have they been saying things to you...?

James: (sigh) You're missing the point, C. My personal life and my work life are two separate entities, and I keep them that way for a reason.
Chris: So... you want to keep your orientation on the down low?
James: Again... wrong direction. I could care less if anyone know I'm gay. Just because I don't wear a "Look mom, no pussy..." shirt doesn't mean I'm a closet case. I just don't think it has any place in what's supposed to be a professional environment. Most people here knew I was gay before I started working here.
Chris: You don't do the whole PDA thing...?

James: PDA? We are just friends, I'm sorry if my blushing and/or playful banter gave you the wrong impression. Quite frankly I have a hard time switching that part of my personality off. I'm flirtatious, a good listener, and I try to never make people feel unappreciated. I can't switch it off because I also use those traits to talk to people daily, especially when I'm serving here. When people realize you have a personality, they tend to tip you much better. Why do you think I make so much more money per night most of the girls here? You hired some really hot girls to work, but two of them zero personality in the dining room; maybe they are shy or maybe they don't want to seem ditsy/bubbly. I don't know, but what I do know is that the other two girls you have don't even like working... they are only here because their parents are making them work. They don't need the money, so they have little motivation to use any sort of people skills.

Chris: So you're nice to me because you feel you have to be?
James: You're getting defensive. Like I said before, I think you're an awesome guy. I'm all for being your friend, but you have to realize that your behavior is highly inappropriate for the work place. You own this restaurant so you can do what ever you want, hun, but I ask that you take my feelings in to consideration here... I
Chris: I thought I was reciprocating a mutual attraction. This was about your feelings.
James: I know... I just wanted to draw a clear line before things got out of hand. I don't want to have to walk out on you because I feel like I'm getting harassed.
Chris: (blank stare)......................

James: I don't mean that you are harassing me, but if I let it continue then it would have felt like that to me. There are too many people that leave good jobs 'cause they just don't want to be the bitch that puts a damper on the party, but would you rather have me here as a friend...or would you rather me keep my feelings inside until I just snap and quit?
Chris: I don't want you to leave.
James: You don't have to worry about me leaving. Just respect my wishes. I think they are reasonable...

_______________________________________________________

I felt like a dick, but I needed to get my point across. We're still buddy, buddy with each other. Now I just don't have to deal with as many uncomfortable situations. He knows where I stand. He knows where we stand.

I don't know if that gives you any insight to what you might want to do, but it might help spark an idea. Good luck, as I know how hard it is to be just another piece of meat

 

[BlueD]

but do keep us informed about what happens. that way i can find out just how wrong the comments by the local village idiot have been.

eM.​

Michael, I don't really like the way you always put down yourself. Most of the time you give good advices, but your way of putting them into words is like you do not even value them yourself...As a result, you sound like a negative, pessimistic "local village idiot," as you put it...

Sorry if my words sadden/disappoint/hurt you...

 

[Croynan]

lol well I made it clear to him that I'm not going to mix "pleasure" with "work" and I told him that I won't like do anything sexual with him ... lol but ya I'll keep you posted

i appreciate that. as you have presented several situations here and we have never heard the out come of these issues or problems you have brought to the boards.

it just would be nice if we saw some sort of resolution to the issues presented, although i realize that might mean an intrusivion itno your privacy and or space. but as you have already broken the bounds of privacy and space yourself, i see no harm in you telling us the outcome of the situation(s) you have presented here.

eM.

 

[Elwood]

Just make sure things are very clear right from the beginning.

 

[Shepherd 2]

Gut Reaction!
Run the other way as fast as you can.
There are users out there, and your job is a place
to be happy and productive, not sexually connected.

Say thanks, but no thanks. It is not the way you
want it to be. I see nothing be red flags.
Shep+

 

[Castilian]

It's called sexual harassment. You need to nip that in the bud now or it'll get worse.

 

[micklader]

Lol, I work in a Subway and thankfully my manager is a dyke...or a lesbian if you must.

As for the job, embarassment is gonna happen seeing as all the 'jokes' have already been said. Just see how you deal with it. Don't make the situation worse and end up on the wrong side of your boss. Just try and negate the situation and play down the 'jokes' as just friendly banter and let him know that you see it as friendly banter and nothing more (i.e. hinting at sex with him).

 

[NomineDetracto]

my boss is gay...

 

[woaini]

If you don't like him, then don't take the job. Save yourself troubles in the future