12 year olds and Homophobia!?

[giorgiobaby]

she's getting it from other kids in school. I'm sure you can educate here without having to confess anything.

 

[Elwood]

I would go more along the lines of so what if he is gay, and there is nothing wrong with being gay it is completely normal. I think it is a better idea to point out that there is nothing wrong with being gay and it is normal and set her thinking straight. Your way you are not correcting the fact that she thinks gay is wrong but just telling her it is none of her business.

When my kids were in grade 2 and 3 I used to volunteer and help supervise the kids at lunch. I used to spend a lot of time with my kids and their friends and when ever one of them would make a remark like that I would say " So there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay and they are people just like everyone else. It was always funny to see them pause as they thought about it and then just go back to what they were doing.

 

[Lukeee]

Question her about it. Don't tell her it is okay, let her figure it out.

Ask her why it is wrong to be gay and go from there.

 

[TinkleToy]

She is displaying a learned attitude and very likely does not really understand what being gay is. I agree that you can help her understand without bringing your own orientation into the discussion. The first thing is to get her to explain why she "hates" gays. The reasons she gives can give you the opportunity to explain things to her in a positive, non-confrontational way.

It would be interesting to see if her attitude towards this gay man are because he is an adult. She possibly is less hostile towards gays who are nearer to her age. I think it is more unusual for a girl that age to display anti-gay behavior than it would be for boys of similar age. Often gay boys and teens are more readily accepted by their straight female classmates than by straight male classmates.

In any case, I think it would be best to handle the situation so it can be a positive learning experience for her.
Tinkle Toy

 

[jaysizzles]

I would go more along the lines of so what if he is gay, and there is nothing wrong with being gay it is completely normal. I think it is a better idea to point out that there is nothing wrong with being gay and it is normal and set her thinking straight. Your way you are not correcting the fact that she thinks gay is wrong but just telling her it is none of her business.

When my kids were in grade 2 and 3 I used to volunteer and help supervise the kids at lunch. I used to spend a lot of time with my kids and their friends and when ever one of them would make a remark like that I would say " So there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay and they are people just like everyone else. It was always funny to see them pause as they thought about it and then just go back to what they were doing.

excellent advice!

No need to get angry at her...treat it as friendly advice from a big brother to his sister. Let her know you accept people who are gay...and that it is ok for her to do it as well. Also, no need to out yourself to her until someday when you are ready.

 

[JUB]

Sounds like she needs you to sit her down and be the big brother and talk to her about homosexuality

 

[kevbo]

(b/n you and me, when we get older, i don't think we'll be close)

That's tragic! I can't imagine not being close to my sister... Although we are a lot closer in age. I'd say since you're the older one, if you are interested in being closer, you'll have to be to one to step up.

Anyway, about 12 year olds being homophobic, kids today are still being taught that macho bullshit about men, and any sort of effeminacy takes away from that. At that age, I'd say the children are confused because "why would a man not be macho?" It's what they've learned their whole life so far. Add to it the negative language of that age (who didn't think they were cool for swearing when they were in junior high?), and you get the insults...

 

[G-Lexington]

Slow down, roll through the intersection, and leer at the guy. Then say, "Wow, he's got a hot ass!"

...nah, don't. But it's funny to think about.

Lex

 

[Telstra]

okay, so for the passed two years i've been picking up my sister from school and there's this area where you pick them up and there's this guy (whose a teacher at the school) who is doing traffic, and he's gay i definitely know it, it's kind of obvious in how he presents himself lol, but for the passed two months my sister always goes

"I hate him, he gay!" and i just sit in awkward silence (for me at least, family doesn't know) and continue listening to music, but i'm starting to get so annoyed to the point where i may punch her in the face or just kick her out of the car or something.

But i've thought about it and the next time she says it i'm going to say this:

"What does him being gay have ANYTHING to do with you, what does anything about him doing whatever in his house have ANYTHING to do with what goes on in our house, be quiet, and grow the FUCK up!"

i don't know if that's too harsh for a 12 year old, but i know they cuss, cause i was that age 8 years ago and it's starting to get annoying.

are there other ways to handle this.

you could make a joke with her by saying what if he might hate you too and might think you are a slut. (an eye for an eye is fair ).

 

[cmizer]

okay, so for the passed two years i've been picking up my sister from school and there's this area where you pick them up and there's this guy (whose a teacher at the school) who is doing traffic, and he's gay i definitely know it, it's kind of obvious in how he presents himself lol, but for the passed two months my sister always goes

"I hate him, he gay!" and i just sit in awkward silence (for me at least, family doesn't know) and continue listening to music, but i'm starting to get so annoyed to the point where i may punch her in the face or just kick her out of the car or something.

But i've thought about it and the next time she says it i'm going to say this:

"What does him being gay have ANYTHING to do with you, what does anything about him doing whatever in his house have ANYTHING to do with what goes on in our house, be quiet, and grow the FUCK up!"

i don't know if that's too harsh for a 12 year old, but i know they cuss, cause i was that age 8 years ago and it's starting to get annoying.

are there other ways to handle this.

why the fuck not they are taught to be homophobic at a younger age so tell her how it is.

 

[cruz555]

I loathe whiny homophobic little brats. I mean, who gave you the right to even be homophobic when you really don't know shit about the world?

I wish the F word was treated like the N word. Most people can't get away with saying that without getting their ass kicked.

 

[EwanSF]

Just get her told man. She may be twelve, but I think the shock of a tirade like that might make a dent in the sheepish, peer-influenced mindset that most kids have. Just be as blunt and as abbrasive as possible.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>I loathe whiny homophobic little brats. I mean, who gave you the right to even be homophobic when you really don't know shit about the world?

Oh, come on. You knew everything at age 16, right? I mean, I know I did.

People can be ignorant. We know that. But for some reason, we keep sitting around waiting for them to NOT be ignorant. As if ignorance is some mild illness that people "get over". We've all been ignorant about things in our lives. And it didn't go away on its own. What happened? We LEARNED. We found out. And, most of the time, it wasn't our doing - somebody taught us. Somebody got us thinking.

...shouldn't we be that somebody?

Lex

 

[ckyb2]

I was on the train coming home from work yesterday and there were 4 15/16 year old teenagers on my the train. The whole way home all I heard was "oh that's gay, I hate that song it's gay, I'm not fucking gay you're gay and diseased." I very nearly got up at one point and punched the loudest one right in his sack.

I've never understood straight teenage boys. I don't see how you can hate gay people, but that's all you talk about. This is gay, That's gay, You're fag, etc., etc.

It makes me believe they are compensating for something. I remember in high school, some jock used to pick on an effeminate guy in one of my classes; he would always find an excuse to go mess with the kid.

I mean, really obvious things like saying "Hey faggot, quit looking at my ass!" when the kid was sleeping, lol. He probably wanted to fuck him instead of beat him up, but couldn't do that without exposing himself, so his harassment was just a twisted way to flirt.

 

[tavares]

PUNCH HER IN THE FACE!!! PUNCH HER IN THE FACE!!!

Just kidding.

Education is key.