150 miles away....Relationship over?

[NineOfClubs]

Sorry to hear this.

I had something a bit like this happen to me when I first came out.

I was seeing a guy, was crazy about him, and he was talking about maybe going to NYC to take a part in a production. When I mentioned that I wouldn't mind relocating with him, he looked at me like I was crazy. Never did it cross his mind that he could have his career and me too. That's when I realized that the two of us weren't really meant for each other.

 

[Sk8ter_Boy]

Well as far as him not telling you he could just be waiting untill he knew for sure if he was going to get/take the job or not.
As far as the distance my boyfriend is in the military so 6months out of the year he is away and even when they are in port he still lives 120miles from me so finding time to spend together can be rough but we have been at it for about 6 years now. Id say talk to him and find out if he wants a relationship or not and go from there.

 

[Seasoned]

I'm sorry to hear this. The main thing now is not to play games with him. Talk to him and tell him that you understand he's been on a job interview and not at a conference. Listen to what he has to say. No use getting too far ahead of yourself until you hear what he has to say and his explaination for not telling you.

My partner and I were 150 miles apart for 16 of our 27 years. We saw each other on weekends, spent the summer and school holidays together. Anything CAN work. What the two of you have to decide is if you both want it to work.

Remember the goal ought not be a relationship. The goal ought to be happiness. Whatever happens it will be a transition period for you. Good luck with that. Try not to ruin what you had with him even if it ends. Of course it's ok to be angry but wish him well. Hanging on to resentment will only hurt you. I wish you well.

 

[Lube]

Sorry to hear this.

I had something a bit like this happen to me when I first came out.

I was seeing a guy, was crazy about him, and he was talking about maybe going to NYC to take a part in a production. When I mentioned that I wouldn't mind relocating with him, he looked at me like I was crazy. Never did it cross his mind that he could have his career and me too. That's when I realized that the two of us weren't really meant for each other.

^It sounds a lot like this.

 

[racer2438]

I would first have a talk with him and ask direct questions about why he said it was this instead of that, then your relationship and were it is and or going.

he may have not wanted to say anything to make sure he is/is not going to take the job. Maybe he felt it was the thing to do for him and not say anything. And he did not want to say it until he knew for sure what was going to happen.

Or he had it planned out and was just going to leave.

Either way you need to talk it out and see were the cards land.


Wish you luck.....

 

[altlover85]

How long have you two been going out? Sometimes the length of time two people have been going out affects the way one or both of them relate to each other and what one or both of them tell to the other.

 

[KaraBulut]

I just feel like he should of told me, at least so I wouldn't find out like this...

Well, he should have. But it's done. No point in getting mad about it now.

It's like, he's going to be moving eventually, why even bother continuing whatever the hell it is that we have. It's got an expiration date on it now, and it just seems pointless.

Funny thing is I feel like I'm on the verge of breaking down and crying, it just hasn't happened yet. Must be shock or something. Never would have expected this.

^^Well, perhaps this is why he was afraid to tell you?

You have two choices.

You can make this all about you and your hurt feelings. This will probably ensure that the relationship ends.

Or you can be happy for him but tell him that you wish that he would have talked to you about this beforehand so that you didn't have to find out this way.

And it's perfectly acceptable to ask, "Well, if you accept this job, what does that means for 'us'?".

Good luck