19 y.o. with a 52 y.o.

[FirmaFan]

I just started dating this guy who's 52.
His age does nothing for his personality though.
He acts like he's 25, and barely passes for 40.
I want to know others opinions on this subject?
Would you date someone of that age?
What would you think if you saw someone that age out with someone my age?

To respond to your questions:

I probably wouldn't date someone that much older than me, not really my thing. I would not think too much of it seeing a young guy with an older guy (I have actually seen couples like this before). As long as both are of legal age, you won't hear any complaining from me.

 

[Brer Fox]

I am wholly of the camp that age is but a number, however the practicality of someone so young becoming romantically involved with someone that much older is where I begin to notice some real problems. This is, of course, if this is a life-long commitment.

For me, I would not want to set myself up for that heartbreak. I know we can go any time, and I have seen many men here who have so tragically lost their beloved far too early, but you are dealing with certainties. One man is in the very spring of his life, and the other, thanks to our good friend mortality, is in the fall of his. I view it a lot like the seasons: Spring goes well with Summer, Summer goes well with Fall, and Fall goes well with Winter, and of course each to their own.

I wish you all the happiness in the world, and not to worry. This is only my personal view and something you may consider. I just do not want to be deprived of my husband so long before I can join him.

 

[WYSIWYG]

My husband is 31 going on 32. I am 63. He never thought, initially that he would date, never mind, fall in love with someone my age.

When we go out to eat, or go to a mall, etc., I can not tell you the stares people give us. It is quite funny!

Several interesting facts about us:

1. We like most of the same music.
2. We dress very much alike.
3. We share the same thoughts and goals for one another.
4. We became best friends before we fell in love.
5. Our love seems to grow stronger as time passes.

Most people get hung up on age, but does it really matter? we are on this planet to short a time o let age get in the way.

Both of our lives changed for the better 3 years ago. Both of us are happier now.

 

[Lube]

Whatever makes you happy.

 

[youngnihilist]

My personal opinion is I'm strongly against such a huge age gap, but my policy on most things is what two consenting adults choose to do inside the privacy of their own home is their own business. That being said I probably couldn't stand to hang out with a couple where a guy is 19 and his partner is 53, it'd be way too awkward.

My straight friends are criticized and laughed at even when there's a 5 year gap (i.e. 25 and 20). If I, at 22, brought home an 18 year old, there'd be eye rolling/criticism from my friends and apprehension from my family. That's to put it in perspective. However, if such a gap truly makes you happy, then, I suppose why not?

 

[yuengling]

Whenever the younger person is under 25 it makes me uneasy, I fear the older person may be taking advantage of the younger person's immaturity.

 

[maxpowr9]

I agree with you to some extent. Love truely does know no bounds. However, society may disagree with you.

My friend gave me the important rule about age in dating. Basically you take the older person's age, divide by 2 and add 7. If the person you are dating is below that age, it may be considered 'creepy'. It only works on people over the age of 25.

 

[Telstra]

if both are happy go for it.

 

[youngnihilist]

MoltenRock: Exactly, they're called sugar daddies. There's money involved. It's only in the gay world we see this common phenomenon where people 30, 40, 50 years apart are dating as couples. Are there straight college boys who date women in their 40s and 50s (I've never heard of this happening)? Probably somewhere, but ratiowise its almost nil compared to gays.

You just have to think somehow there's a predatory relationship going on between the older subject and the youth. At least in the sugar daddy relationship, it's obvious and both parties are equally involved.

 

[SoulSearcher]

I know one couple like that, the younger one's eyes are always moving around like a radar everytime they are out, so when old guys who target young guys with money and gifts to date them, they better be careful, nothing can compete with youth.

 

[screwnutty]

This topic has been beaten to death already. Who freaking cares really. If a young guy wants an older guy then fine. It's there life, there choice and none of our business.

I only protest it, if the young guy is under age.....cause then it's a crime.

As for the straight community doesnt do this shit...well no shit. They have a much bigger pool of potential life partners to choice from. Were a minority. Something like one out of 10 people is gay. If we were restricted to the social norms of the straight community, none of us would have boyfriends and we'd all be miserable as hell.

Hold your head up with pride. Were unique, were different and that makes us special!

 

[KaraBulut]

MoltenRock: Exactly, they're called sugar daddies. There's money involved. It's only in the gay world we see this common phenomenon where people 30, 40, 50 years apart are dating as couples. Are there straight college boys who date women in their 40s and 50s (I've never heard of this happening)? Probably somewhere, but ratiowise its almost nil compared to gays.

You just have to think somehow there's a predatory relationship going on between the older subject and the youth. At least in the sugar daddy relationship, it's obvious and both parties are equally involved.

Relationships are seldom 50-50 in gay or straight couples. One person usually inititates sex more often than the other. One person usually makes more money than the other.

Yet, when there's an age difference, we assume that the younger person is exchanging sex for financial support. It becomes about "trophy wives", "cougars", "sugar daddies", "boy toys" and all the other derogatory terms that we have for it.

In the end, who really gives a shit? If both parties are consenting adults, they're happy and the situation works for them then best wishes to them.

Life's too short to be worried about this kind of stuff.

 

[KingOfPain]

When I was 17, the first guy I was in a serious relationship with (for 2 and a half years) was 43. We seemed to have a lot in common, I was mature for my age and he was immature for his... we kinda met halfway mentality-wise (does that make sense)?

It worked for a little while but then eventually you start wondering about the long-term prospects, like where will he be when I'm 40? And sooner or later, it's possible you'll hit a roadblock that you won't be able to go around. With him, it was his drinking problem and constant narcissism. He was also extremely insecure about me running off with someone else my own age (which I wasn't even remotely interested in doing) and kept projecting his issues through me. It turned out to be a big psychological dilemma and eventually we called it quits.

Funnily enough, after him I swore I would stick to my own age bracket, but my next bf turned out to be in his late 30's and I was 20. It lasted 6 years. What was his problem? He was a constant cheat and a liar. I suppose once you go after twinks, you'll ALWAYS go after twinks - as I got older, he was still hunting down 20 year olds. LOL

Now I'm dating a guy who I think I want to spend the rest of my life with... and he's 25! Everyone who's ever truly known me know that I have absolutely no hang ups or discrepancies about men when it comes to age, race, size, height, etc. If there's a connection, there's a connection. I like all walks of life! I can't explain it - it doesn't mean that it's the one you're supposed to be with, but you can at least get some enjoyment or experience out of it, right?

Yeah, there are cases where younger guys go for older guys because they have money (I PERSONALLY know quite a few boys like that) and there are older guys who only go for twinks (I PERSONALLY know quite a few of those too!). But don't let them create that stereotype for those who actually do find genuine love or a connection. Do it for yourself.

 

[KingOfPain]

Yeah that's how I had a mutual attraction to my first BF, he wasn't into the club scene either, we liked to stay home, BBQ, watch movies, play stupid board games, lol... crazy shit that seems outdated these days.

Do you have any issues with him having a kid that's older than you? I know that my first BF had a nephew that was my age and when there were family gatherings, it was a little awkward (almost to the point where I nearly had anxiety attacks), but his family treated me so kindly. How long have you two been seeing each other and how did you meet?

 

[youngnihilist]

I think I got misinterpreted. I meant in the straight world, old /young relationships are almost always based on money. In the gay world, it's not based on money so much - meaning, a very poor old guy can get with a young cutie. The older guy doesn't have to be steak dinner CEO to get an 18 year old. He can be old trailer park granddaddy. It's just an observation.

Is it awkward hanging out with someone who has a son 10 yrs older than you? What do you talk about/do?

 

[Luka]

well most of u know my feelings on older/ younger.....As my tolerance has grown i think 19 and 52 is way pushing it. But whatever floats ur boat. Persoanlly not into older guys relationship wise, sex depends on how u look and persona.

 

[thelaw2047]

Take your age and divide it by 2 and add 7. And voila!...there's your date or age range. But when there has been guys like Christopher Isherwood and his young lover as an example and it works who cares.

 

[Fucker29]

If both are attracted to each other and happy with what they have, that's great and pretty much all that matters!
I, personally, most probably wouldn't date anyone too much older than me...something about it FOR ME it's not attractive at all and it's just not my "thing" but to each it's own. I, not finding it attractive, doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't find it attractive...people are different and have different tastes.

 

[Luka]

I just dont get why a young hot guy wuld want a flabby old one........haha

 

[Luka]

Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We don't all like the same things. Otherwise, we'd all be dating straight fit young women.

*slaps hand on forehead* ugh are u kidding me..whateva i wont go on about this, i find that only people on this forum seem to think the way you do, so peer pressure anyone? but its all good, glad i dont know u in real life cause i wuld hate you. BUT I love ur avatar [Text: Removed by Moderator]