1st Time

[smoothmotion]

i've never bottomed b4. I'm trying to gain as much info about this hot topic as I can b4 I go through with this. I want to know what is the best kinds of lubes. Some bottoms r telling me to get a water based lube and others are saying get silicon based lube. An old queen told me to use baby oil or Vaseline. I'm getting confused about all of this and really need some help. The guy is 9" x 6.5" girth and he says that he won't hurt me.

 

[KaraBulut]

We moved your post to H&W since that forum has threads about preparing for anal sex. In the All About Anal thread in the Sticky section at the top of the forum are links to old threads with similar discussions.

Some bottoms r telling me to get a water based lube and others are saying get silicon based lube. An old queen told me to use baby oil or Vaseline.

If you're going to bottom, you need to use water-based lube (the thicker, the better) and a condom. Unless you are in a committed monogamous relationship with someone who you know does not have STDs, you're better off protecting yourself from STDs.

Water based lubes are safe for use with condoms. Oil based lubes, including vaseline and most household oils and creams are not condom safe.

The guy is 9" x 6.5" girth and he says that he won't hurt me.

He's lying. Unless you are an experienced bottom or have been using larger sized toys, a penis that size is going to hurt, assuming that you can even get it in.

Frankly, if you are interested in bottoming, you should start with toys or someone of an average size who is more trustworthy and patient.

 

[smoothmotion]

Thank you for this advice! I'm just so nervous and I don't know what I'm doing. Now that I'm deeply thinking about this, this guy says he goes in deep and wants to give it to me really hard and fast. I wonder if I should have my Doctor give me a local, 1st, so I can avoid the pain? This other bottom told me there are even lubes that will numb the sphincter. I treasure your advice.

 

[lockeroomguy]

Don't use anything than numbs the sphincter. If you can't take the cock without pain you are not ready. Pain is there to alert you that it is too big. If you don't have the pain to alert you, a rectal fissure (serious tear to anal sphincter muscle) could occur, and that's a slow painful healing.

Practice with plenty of lube and progressively larger dildos. When you can take a Dildo as large as your fuck buddy, you are ready.

 

[KaraBulut]

...I wonder if I should have my Doctor give me a local, 1st, so I can avoid the pain? This other bottom told me there are even lubes that will numb the sphincter...

What you're asking is like someone asking, "When I touch the stove, it hurts so should I use something to numb my finger?". The answer is, "No, you shouldn't touch the stove".

Pain exists for a reason. If it hurts to put something in your ass, you're not ready to put that in your ass.

Don't use anything than numbs the sphincter. If you can't take the cock without pain you are not ready. Pain is there to alert you that it is too big. If you don't have the pain to alert you, a rectal fissure (serious tear to anal sphincter muscle) could occur, and that's a slow painful healing.

Practice with plenty of lube and progressively larger dildos. When you can take a dildo as large as your fuck buddy, you are ready.

^Echoing for emphasis.

Something else I want to add to this...

Having sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both parties. If you have a top who doesn't have an interest in whether getting fucked is pleasurable for you, then that's not a good top.

Don't start your life as a sexually active person by having sex with people who are only interested in their own pleasure. You need to make good choices in sex partners.

Bottom line here: go find someone else to have your first time with.

 

[ShadowCat]

A first timer trying to take 6.5 inches around? Honey your eyes are bigger than your stomach!! It won't work. First off Rectal douche bulb if there is something in the pipe it won't feel good. Second NEVER USE ANYTHING OIL OR PETROLEUM BASED IT WILL DESTROY A CONDOM! Third water based lubes are kind of shitty for anal they absorb incredibly fast and you'll need to keep applying trying to get my Dildo in I used 1/2 a tube (perils of buying a silicone toy can' use silicone lube.) A really good silicone anal lube is Pjur's BACK DOOR also Pjur's Analyse me, BACK DOOR is more concentrated, both feature a relaxing ingredient jojoba oil. Fourth a rectal trainer kit or a set of graduated butt plugs will help you. Fifth Poppers can help, but really for a first time I would not recommend it as you want to have your wits about you. 6 A regular smooth condom not ribbed no pleasure dots will prevent any irritation. 7 A warm epsom salt water bath is a terrific idea anything to help you relax really. 8 Rimming and lots of it loosens you up. 9 gentle fingering with manicured nails will also help loosen you up. 10 Choose squatting on his cock as your beginning position it puts your body at a good position to be penetrated. THE LAST THING IS THE MOST IMPORTANT!: Make sure your partner will take his time make sure he is trustworthy you cant just go shoving 9x6.5 up your ass without hurt, it takes time, you might not even get it in the first time.

 

[smoothmotion]

Kara has made some good points and I've printed out your message on my laser printer. Thank you for this advice. Another bottom told me about that lube you mentioned and that's the kind that I'm going to use. Unfortunately, I can't go down 2 many sizes because Black men have the hugest dicks on the earth. There's 2 other tops that have 8.5" x 5" and they're cut. Do you think that's a safer size? I just don't know what 2 do and I appreciate all of this great advice I'm getting. I just don't want the PAIN of the 1st time. I've heard of biting the pillow helps to take the pain away 2. This man told me up front that he LOVES to make men SORE and that he wants me walking funny for the next few days after he fucks and screws me. He told me he's going to put me on my side so he can screw me. He's also told me that my ass BELONGS to him and that he's going to fuck me so hard that NO other man will be able to satisfy me. I'm not 100% on what all of that means but I guess it's top language. I know he's verbally threatened this White guy when the guy gave him head. He didn't want the guy 2 stop giving him head and they guy had a nervous break down after he was verbally abusive 2 him. I feel that the other 2 top aren't as big and I would have less pain but those 2 want to fuck me 2.

 

[palemale]

He's lying. Unless you are an experienced bottom or have been using larger sized toys, a penis that size is going to hurt, assuming that you can even get it in.

Frankly, if you are interested in bottoming, you should start with toys or someone of an average size who is more trustworthy and patient.

The first time I bottomed, the guy who topped me had a thick, 9" cock. I had never used toys, or even been fingered. He was patient, rimmed the hell out of me, and engaged in lots of foreplay. When he finally penetrated me, it did not hurt an inordinate amount, and it was pretty terrific. I felt no soreness or discomfort afterward, or the following day. There's no reason a patient, skilled, conscientious top with a big cock should refrain from deflowering a willing virgin. Subsequent tops, with average penises, who were not patient, or into rimming and foreplay, have caused me more discomfort than tops with 9.5" or 10" cocks.

 

[smoothmotion]

Well C, thank you ALL for your great advice. The last post is more in line with the info that I've been gathering. I've heard horror stories from other guy's that have bottomed about those small 2 average sized dicks. They've told me those sizes act like scissors or knives and actually cut n2 the anus. I don't want bleeding or rectal fissures from a cutting penis. I want some 1 to explain to me how to attain this 2nd hole technology in the ass. A LOT of bottoms r telling me that's what I should go for in this. I'm going to refrain from the Black man until he treats me better bcoz of what you all have been telling me. I just don't want a hot fuck and 2 b walking funny for weeks after (that's what that guy said he loves doing to men). He LOVES 2 make men sore for months on the time and I don't think I want that 4 my 1st time. Now how ever, there is this White top that says he wants to b my friend and he treats me well. He's 13.75" x 7" and I think that won't cause me pain my 1st time. Bottoms have been telling me to get my walls massaged and that will not cause any pain. I've never been fingered or used toys either. I'm really nervous about this and that's why I'm gathering as much info as I can. This White guy says he has huge balls and shoots tons of nutt n2 my ass and he sounds nicer.

 

[palemale]

Well C, thank you ALL for your great advice. The last post is more in line with the info that I've been gathering. I've heard horror stories from other guy's that have bottomed about those small 2 average sized dicks. They've told me those sizes act like scissors or knives and actually cut n2 the anus. I don't want bleeding or rectal fissures from a cutting penis. I want some 1 to explain to me how to attain this 2nd hole technology in the ass. A LOT of bottoms r telling me that's what I should go for in this. I'm going to refrain from the Black man until he treats me better bcoz of what you all have been telling me. I just don't want a hot fuck and 2 b walking funny for weeks after (that's what that guy said he loves doing to men). He LOVES 2 make men sore for months on the time and I don't think I want that 4 my 1st time. Now how ever, there is this White top that says he wants to b my friend and he treats me well. He's 13.75" x 7" and I think that won't cause me pain my 1st time. Bottoms have been telling me to get my walls massaged and that will not cause any pain. I've never been fingered or used toys either. I'm really nervous about this and that's why I'm gathering as much info as I can. This White guy says he has huge balls and shoots tons of nutt n2 my ass and he sounds nicer.

Being comfortable and relaxed with the guy who is going to top you is the most important thing. In my experience, the guys with the really big cocks are cognizant of the fact that the size of their cocks can be painful and uncomfortable for the bottom, which tends to make them more patient and better at preparing their partner to bottom. Incidentally, manyof my best experiences bottoming have been with black men with big cocks. They have loved rimming (I'm a lean, muscular white guy with an unusually large ass), kissing and foreplay. But you have to chose the right guy. I suggest writing off anyone who says they want to make you sore for months. That's sadistic. Damaging one's anus is not a recipe for a long and pleasurable sex life.

 

[smoothmotion]

That's what this other guy told me. His man says he's gentle as a teddy bear when making love. How ever, this guy told me that he bloodied this guy's guts when he fucked him. He fucked him hard and deep because that guy made his man fuck his own cousins to get his dick. This guy says he's 9.5" x 6.25" and he says he's not going to hurt me. He says he's going 2 tongue my ass until I'm ready 4 his bbd. I also found out that my friend isn't that big. I told him 2 send me a pic of his dick and he's only 7" x 3" so that makes me feel joyful. I really didn't believe him when he said he's 6.5" because that's to big for any 1. That's what I was most worried about. I don't want to get genital and anal warts for this. I also don't want to get anal fissures either.