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2 times now, sex with a guy just couldnt get me hard

Sagger you might need a medical check up, high blood pressure or diabetes can affect getting a good erection.
 
When it happened to me, it was mainly because I would j/o a lot. But the day we were going to have sex, I stopped myself from j/o. Even though I didn't j/o the whole day, I was unable to top. My solution was that even if I gave myself the whole day, i still probably needed more time to keep that boner. I was jacking off 3-4 times a day like you were. Maybe you're in the same boat?
 
Sounds like something wasn't right (not in the sense of being with the wrong gender, but the wrong partner) or there wasn't enough excitement in the situation. You do know straight guys who have ONLY had sex with women lose their erections all the time too right? I don't think that makes them any less straight just like that wouldn't make you any less gay if that happened. It probably wasn't you, it could've been them.
 
What do you think about when you jerk off? That's what you want. Go out and get it.
 
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