2011 - Worst year ever

[benlemieux2003]

I haven't had a year this bad in a decade. Never has my own life been spinning out of control this badly. I was so optimistic, I had promised myself that I would make 2011 my own, that I would take control of things and build my life with my boyfriend and my career.

Instead:

- Three of my closest friends of years have moved away and now live abroad
- My friendship with my best friend evaporated since he got married and moved to a remote part of the country with his wife
- Because of my income not being high enough, I'm stuck living with Mom and Dad who keep treating me like a 14 year old kid
- I had been promised support for the ideas my thesis advocated to make it into a real life project and it never materialized even though I tried and tried again
- I spent most of the year out on a painful injury which made me irritable and unable to do sports and unable to cum.
- Two of my mentors, two of the best persons in the world to me have died from horrible cancers
- And the cherry on the sundae, my boyfriend of 4 years recently told me he was no longer in love with me and that he needed a break from our relationship, even though he says I have gone above and beyond what he expected of me and that nobody has ever treated him as well as I did.

I can't help thinking "why?" and "what's next?". I feel I'm in utter darkness, I feel lost and abandoned.

Why did 2011 suck for you?

 

[Stoopid]

I'm so sorry, that is a lot to go through in one year. You must be such a strong person to have made it past of all those things. All I can say is that these trials are laid out to make you a stronger person.

I would give you a big long hug if I could! PM if you need someone to talk to!

 

[Delphi124]

Wow, what a rough year. What particularly strikes me is that, unlike a lot of us, most of the bad things that have happened to you are things you have little to no control over. Keep hanging in there though, things are bound to improve in 2012. Also, make sure to reach out to your support community, both locally and online. Hard times are much easier to face when you don't feel alone.

 

[Seasoned]

That's quite a string of issues to contend with. Hopefully, reporting them here will be helpful to you. I have a couple of things that were difficult, but also some joyous ones. You seem to have had a whole lot of sorrow. Sorry for your many losses. I hope you have solid coping strategies. Take care.

 

[swerve]

What POSITIVE things happened to you this year???

I'm hopeful you could compile a list just as easily...

Sorry to hear about your troubles -- I just prefer to focus on the GOOD things...

 

[Newmercedes]

Yea 2011 is the worst year for me. Hope the 2012 will be way better.

 

[ben9651]

look at the bright side > 2012 might be worse

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

I can't help thinking "why?" and "what's next?". I feel I'm in utter darkness, I feel lost and abandoned.

What you choose is next. I say move out of your parent's house.
Nothing I've experienced is more harmful for a young man's self-esteem.

Why did 2011 suck for you?

It didn't suck that much, except for that lame temp job I had.

 

[MascutarHero]

Wow that sucks, I see from your question you're assuming a lot of us think our 2011 year sucks, well me tell ya, you're correct! For me 2011 sucked hopefully 2012 will be better even if the world ends )

 

[thefishinthesea23]

2011 was a roller coaster ride of ups and downs for me... to be honest I am more confused than anything.

 

[looseliam]

I know there's some cliché saying one should write, but I won't.

Take stock of what you do have. Dwelling on the shitty things in life will obfuscate the good.

If you can find one thing or two things that can bring some enjoyment to your life, you'll be on the right track.

I know it's difficult in the face of all that's happened. Ask yourself this: is there anything you could reasonably do to change any of those situations? My guess is likely not.

Start to think about things you can do to change current issues for the better.

I'll leave you with one of my favourite drawings from The New Yorker. I have it framed reminding me there's always a silver lining.

 

[Newmercedes]

Yes it is worst cuz my best friend- my hot roommate moved out. He got mad at me. He didn't wanna play with me any more. I really love him and he doesn't care how I felt. He is probably not the hottest guy I know but He and I have a lot in common. We lived together for 4 years and used to do things together. Hope I can find a good roommate- good friend like him. Its hard to find someone you really like.

 

[shainski]

I haven't had a year this bad in a decade....

Wow, that is a lot to happen in a year.

I'm sorry.

And, forgive me, because i really don't want the rest of this post to minimize your suffering.


There was a scene in the old television show, Mash, that has always stuck with me. One of the characters, BJ Honeycut was walking around moping because of all he had lost and was missing because of his lot in life - because of the war they were all serving. He missed his daughter being born. He missed his wife. His career would have been taking off if he were at home. He kept telling everyone that they could never understand all of his sacrifices.

And that goes on for the show, until finally Major Hoolahan, says (And to get it, you really have to emphasize the last five words):

How dare you? How dare you stand there acting like your brand of suffering...
is worse than anybody else's?
I guess that's the only way you can justify treating the rest of us like dirt.
Let me tell you something, sad sack.
If the worst thing that's happened to you is that your pretty little wife...
has to help pay the bills for a while, don't come to me for sympathy.
Maybe you do have the most to lose, but that's only because you've got the most.

This has always stuck with me. When you have a lot, you take a chance on having a lot to lose. It sounds like you have a lot of close friends. You had a boyfriend of 4 years. That tells me that you are capable of having good friends. - and your friends are still around, they are just not convenient to see on a daily basis.

You're highly educated. And while you don't have a high income, you do have a job. You've had great mentors in your life. You have parents who love you even if they haven't realized that you have grown up.

Okay, you have lost a lot - but you will end up in a great place - i can see that by reading between your lines. Yes, you have to mourn - just don't let it drag you into a depression.

You must have a lot to offer.

I know you asked what was bad about 2011 for us, but i'm not going to go there. It's not going to make you feel better if all of us had a worse 2011 than you. (Or else you could find billions of people on the earth who would trade places with you in a minute)

So you only have ten more days of 2011 - let it lay in your past, and look forward to 2012.

 

[evanrick]

at least your still alive!