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21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

21 with a 24/25 too big of a age gap?

  • Yes

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • No

    Votes: 51 94.4%

  • Maybe

    Votes: 3 5.6%
  • Total voters
    54
For people in their twenties, a 5 year difference is not a huge age gap.
 
Not even a gap if you ask me. Always got along with friends a few years apart and more with no issues, and it should be even less of a problem in a relationship.
 
I don't think there is an age gap that is too big. It really comes down to the people involved, where they are in their lives and where they plan to be in the near and distant future. That being said, I think the gap between 21 and 25 is huge, much more so than, say, 35 and 45. At 21 I was still a kid and binge drinking was a regular occurence. At 25 I was already a couple of years into a very stable career and my priorities were completely different. Everyone's experience is different. It depends on when you become an "adult", and for most people, 21 is not that time.
 
Nope! I get along with people 3-4 years older than me pretty fine. Few years is not at all big if you ask me.
 
Yes. You need someone who was born EACTLY in the same day, month and year as you, at the exact hour. No second more or less or the relationship is doomed.

I don´t know if this is serious or a mockery to all the age gap threads here...
 
As the question seems a bit odd...I have to wonder if you are thinking about or referring to maturity level? If so...maturity is an individual thing...you will find really mature 21 year olds and really immature 30 year olds....and just about every variation possible.

If you sincerely wonder about that age gap....soon enough that gap will be considered "the same age".
 
Never had sex with a man within 10 years of my own age. Look, age gaps don't mean much. A lot of people will try to feed you a lot of sausage and theoretical garbage on it, but I have seen how it works in actual practice. Age is not and never should be the "deal-killer" in a relationship, and it's completely ignorant to think it ought to be.

You could make the argument, "oh, but you'll be in college while he is building a career," but people often go to college or back to college at much later times in their lives. You never know: you might end up supporting him someday while he attends grad school. The order in which people do things in their lives very much varies. There is no set order in which we do things. There isn't a basic game plan for life, and I imagine anyone who thinks there is just hasn't gotten out much. Live a little, and you'll find out that life is more complicated and less predictable than it looks on television.

A lot of people wonder how I can identify with a lover who is over two-score years older than I am. Well, I can barely identify with men my own age because all I ever watched growing up was reruns of mid-20th Century sitcoms, and all I read growing up was classic sci-fi that was written in the 1950's or earlier. I watched the same shows he did growing up, and we speak in the same language. Besides that, we have a lot of the same interests, and we have a similar outlook on the world. My taste in music is similarly archaic: he and I both love Jethro Tull, and most people would say I'm a weirdo for that at my age.

But then someone might make the argument to me, "well, he'll have a foot in the grave by the time you are middle-age." Well, I'd rather be middle-age and in good health when I have to take care of someone than be in failing health myself, so you still have no argument there. I'm really not concerned about the fact that he isn't going to be there for the rest of my natural life. He's had three great loves in his life, myself being one of them, and several abortive romances besides that. His first partner, a bi guy, is in his third marriage now. It is simply not the norm anymore for people to grow old with their prom date, and it never will be again. If you are in your 20's, you are delusional if you think that you are especially likely to be with the same guy you are with now by the time you are in your 70's, not that I discourage anyone from trying.

But the age difference you are talking about here really amounts to nothing. What matters is really not what your respective ages are but what is going on in your lives right now, regardless of your ages. If you are in college and he is likely to have to relocate a few times over the next few years to advance his career, you might have a problem, but you also have to consider possible advantages that could be involved in you being at different stages in your lives. Sometimes, you end up with as much or more of a synergy than a conflict of interests. It depends on how imaginative you and he choose to be.

And I acknowledge that there are times that age differences lead to incompatibility, but you can't just make a generalization on it. The only person who can decide whether or not it is an issue is you and you alone.
 
Not too much...now...a 21 yo and a 54 yo would be worth discussing.... that's unquestionably an age gap.
 
cgymike said:
Not too much...now...a 21 yo and a 54 yo would be worth discussing.... that's unquestionably an age gap.
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No, it´s not. It shouldn´t be your concern, as long as you´re not one of the parts involved in such a relationship.
 
aaggii said:
No, it´s not. It shouldn´t be your concern, as long as you´re not one of the parts involved in such a relationship.
Click to expand...

It isn't my concern that's correct. I am not in a relationship and not actively seeking one at this time. But I was responding to the op and suggesting an age gap that may be arguably "too big".
 
cgymike said:
It isn't my concern that's correct. I am not in a relationship and not actively seeking one at this time. But I was responding to the op and suggesting an age gap that may be arguably "too big".
Click to expand...
Hehehe, like I've said, my partner is 72, and I'm 29. Our relationship has had ups and downs, mostly ups, but I really don't think that our respective ages is especially problematical.

Then again, another thing we have in common is that we both grew up displaced in time. He was a menopausal baby, and he had grandparents who had fought in the American Civil War. He was taught his early education by an aunt who had received a Victorian-style education. The farm he spent much of his upbringing on still used mostly horse-drawn equipment, and the most advanced machinery they had was a steam-powered tractor. Furthermore, he was always a history nut, so he really ended up identifying more with the 19th Century than he ever did with the 20th Century.

Essentially, we're just a fit for each other in a lot of ways. The age factor is really N/A for us.
 
Brian Smith said:
Hehehe, like I've said, my partner is 72, and I'm 29. Our relationship has had ups and downs, mostly ups, but I really don't think that our respective ages is especially problematical.

Then again, another thing we have in common is that we both grew up displaced in time. He was a menopausal baby, and he had grandparents who had fought in the American Civil War. He was taught his early education by an aunt who had received a Victorian-style education. The farm he spent much of his upbringing on still used mostly horse-drawn equipment, and the most advanced machinery they had was a steam-powered tractor. Furthermore, he was always a history nut, so he really ended up identifying more with the 19th Century than he ever did with the 20th Century.

Essentially, we're just a fit for each other in a lot of ways. The age factor is really N/A for us.
Click to expand...

Are you okay with him dying in 20 years when you are 50?
 
cgymike said:
It isn't my concern that's correct. I am not in a relationship and not actively seeking one at this time. But I was responding to the op and suggesting an age gap that may be arguably "too big".
Click to expand...

I mean you being in a relatinoship like this, one younger and one older :D

@darklide634 that WAS nasty. Look, 1 year with someone you truly love, but he´ll die soon is so much better than a lifetime with someone you don´t love. No one chooses who to fall in love with.
 
darklide634 said:
Are you okay with him dying in 20 years when you are 50?
Click to expand...
That's longer than the average duration of a marriage. In fact, that's only slightly younger than he was when he lost his wife to cancer, which was in his mid-60's.

I'm just saying, there is no argument that age difference is always going to be a deal-breaker in a relationship. There is just no argument that is universally applicable. You can't just say, "oh, that's too much," when you don't know those people or what stages they are actually at in their lives.
 
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