21 Year Old Virgin

[ndavies]

For you 'late bloomers' out there, for god's sake, don't get depressed over not having sex. It should MEAN SOMEHTING when you do it. Don't just do it just to say you've done it.

My first truly sexual experience was at 29...and I'm 30 now. I was in the closet until about a month after I met my boyfriend, now fiancé/soulmate. I didn't have sex because I wanted it to be with the one I love and it was only around a month of actually being a couple did we finally have sex. I grew up in an old fashioned family with old fashioned values which I still follow. Ok...maybe not to the letter because it would have been AFTER the marriage, but over a year into our relationship and we are going strong, in all aspects.

Take it from an old timer. Don't let your peers or outside influences taunt you. There is nothing to be ashamed of and there is no rush. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

 

[Rolyo85]

MY experience was different. I did it in order to have done it, and I am happy I did. The longer you wait, the more hangups you have about it, the more performance and emotional issues you build in your head. There is a reason why people start being sexually active in their teens and not their 30s. So yeah, I have had a lot of "MEAN SOMETHING" sex since I lost my virginity, but my first time was just so I could get it out of the way, break the wall and start learning.

 

[ndavies]

Point taken and no offence meant. Different strokes and schools of thought.

Let me amend my above post by adding: YMMV

 

[palemale]

Nah, I think virgins are kinda cute.
If my date would tell me he's a virgin yet, I would be totally enamored

I agree. I hooked up with a 20 yr old virgin a few weeks ago. He was absolutely adorable. We met on-line. While chatting, I felt such pressure to make it a great experience for him. He kept reassuring me, saying its just sex, not a big deal. I think he wanted to just finally lose it.

Anyway, we met and had a great time, and he left no longer a virgin. We made out a lot, sucked, and I fucked him in various positions. We emailed a couple of days later and he said it was really hot and he had a great time. I felt much better. He wants to fuck again.

 

[itsmejeff]

While there is nothing wrong with being a virgin necessarily, it is just not expected past a certain age. People fuck. That is what they do. Most guys (something like 85%) have had sex by the time they are 21. The average person has had two sexual partners before turning 20. (This is all according to the Kinsey Institute)

Being an older virgin definitely makes you different. It is not a bad thing, but it is not a good thing either.

21 is not too old to have sex for the first time though. That would be more like 26-27. If no one has wanted to fuck you by that point, then you are looking at a lifetime of virginity (based on the data, again). If/when you reach that point, you will stop carrying about it. Very few people are that bad though (less than 2% of the population).

 

[menRsexii]

To be fair, the people who find virgins a turn on are mostly predators and players though. I mean, it is kinda hot, but not really something that makes a guy sexy. And I agree that comfort is an absolute essential for your first time. However, contrary to popular belief, you are not likely to be comfortable with someone you have invested a lot of feelings and hopes in. A friend, someone you like physically and on a personal level, but not necessarily romantically, can often provide a much more fulfilling first time. That was my experience both for my first time having sex, and my first time bottoming, and I don't regret it one bit.

And this is coming from a very relationship-oriented person btw. I'm not a hook up guy at all.

^^^ i totally agree with this. i very recently lost my virginity to a guy friend of mine. we aren't in a relationship, we dont care for each other romantically, but we are good friends that communicate well and because of that, this has worked out. im new to having sex but hes had years of experience so i look at it like hes my mentor and im his student

basically, i think what it boils down to is, do whatever makes you comfortable and whatever feels right for you! dont feel pressured to have sex just because you think people will look down on you. forget them then -- they aren't worth your time anyways.

just from personal experience, for the longest time (it seems), i always envisioned waiting for the "right guy" or being in a romantic relationship but that in itself was getting me all mixed up. i then was looking to get into a relationship just so i could lose my virginity basically. now that i've lost it, i feel this weight kinda has been lifted, if that makes sense?

anyways, i think its just best to take into consideration all of the replies here on this thread. but ultimately -- its your life, you need to find what you want and go for it, either way. whatever makes you happy!