24 and no boyfriend ever

[wrestlingobsessed]

So heres the deal I went through school and found it tough being gay kept it quiet to myself, didnt come out till I was 19 going on 20, went to college for four years in a place in Ireland where there was nowhere to meet any other gay guys, after college stayed at home working for nearly 2 years and then decided to up and go to Australia for working holiday visa, been here for few months now, have had kisses with guys back home and a few guys here but never anything serious, as I get older it gets tougher when people ask have u had a boyfriend and I get embarrassed and find it a bit pathetic that it hasnt happened yet, I fear that I may end up like my uncle all alone staying at my parents house as my own family have called me by my uncles name sometimes and I get angry cos I find we are similar. Any advice please for me?

 

[aaggii]

Don´t look for the right guy, let him come when he comes. You just have fun and gain experience until then, see what you like and what you don´t, the type of guy you would like to have by your side, etc etc. Join dating sites, people are much more open on the internet, from what I´ve seen lately. Don´t get a boyfriend because your family keeps asking you to, believe me.

I´m 24 in a couple of weeks and I celebrate 2 years with my man in September. Before him, I had another boyfriend, but we only lasted 7 months. I was 21 when I started that one and there were only 5 months between the breakup and the then-new guy. I wish I had some more experiences to add to my list, I always wanted to do some stuff before going into a relationship again, but it happened. Now, since we´re monogamous I don´t get to do some of the things I was thinking of, but it´s a small sacrifice for such a great guy. So, take the good out of everything! You´re single? Enjoy it! No shame whatsoever in not having a boyfriend until now. The perfect guy for you won´t give a crap about this

 

[NakedReadyGuy]

I'm 27 and have never had a boyfriend ever, it feels frustrating, but you got to be patient and just go with the flow.

 

[AstareGod]

I'm 26 and have had seven boyfriends, many of them for short stints of time in college, but my longest (and most recent) lasted 10 months. He was absolutely the most frustrating guy I've ever been with - but he's the only one I still stay in touch with. And he and I are really great friends now. We didn't work as boyfriends - but we're great as regular friends.

Why am I telling you all this? Relationships aren't all they're cracked up to be - you'll experience deceit, infidelity, arguments, and nights of crying (if you're lucky). But they can also be pretty damn awesome. But guess what? Being single is pretty damn awesome, too. You won't be subject to all the negatives of a committed relationship. You can use that time to learn about yourself, explore the world (which it looks like you've been doing), and get to know other people without having to answer to a significant other. You only have yourself to answer to.

When the time is right, and it will be someday for you, you'll find your man. He won't be perfect, but if he has pretty good qualities and you're attracted to him, things will happen naturally. Make your desires known when you meet him. And if you're both ready, get together. It could last a lifetime, or it could last a few weeks or months. Don't have any expectations. Let come what comes naturally.

Though I'm single now, I know the right guy is just around the corner - and hell, I may have already met him! Things will happen when everything's in the right place. Have that desire, but don't feel like you have to rush it. It'll all happen as it was meant to.

Good luck!

 

[Seasoned]

Do what you can to change your attitude about yourself. Do what you can to explore your interests and take and interest in new things. We give off vibes and a contented, self-confident person gives off a different vibe than one who has negative self thoughts. Work in being happy with what the freedom of being single has to offer. You've already taken advantage of that freedom by working half way across the world. Keep diving in for those opportunities that cause you to grow as a person and then, probably when you least expect it, it'll happen.

Oh, and by the way, be careful what you wish for. A relationship with the wrong person can be quite the nightmare.

Best wishes.

 

[waterclock]

So heres the deal I went through school and found it tough being gay kept it quiet to myself, didnt come out till I was 19 going on 20, went to college for four years in a place in Ireland where there was nowhere to meet any other gay guys, after college stayed at home working for nearly 2 years and then decided to up and go to Australia for working holiday visa, been here for few months now, have had kisses with guys back home and a few guys here but never anything serious, as I get older it gets tougher when people ask have u had a boyfriend and I get embarrassed and find it a bit pathetic that it hasnt happened yet, I fear that I may end up like my uncle all alone staying at my parents house as my own family have called me by my uncles name sometimes and I get angry cos I find we are similar. Any advice please for me?

Hi look I know the feeling. I was years trying to come out and then spent years trying to get a decent guy.

I did get a guy for like three months but he broke it off and it got complicated. It was ok but not the greatest thing in the world, remember to look after yourself too

But as a single guy it is tough to find someone, even a decent date.

Don't stress yourself out about it, but I know whats it like, you want to experience what other people experience. But it takes time and patience and luck.

Stay in there. You can do it!!!

BTW the Irish University, was it Maynooth you went to?

 

[wrestlingobsessed]

The main problem with me is I am too shy, quiet and have a boring personality. I don't have much to talk about with anyone and then if I see a guy I like I find it hard to even say hello. I wish I could change the way I am but I cant. Sometimes I feel like life isnt worth living
nobody wants to be alone for the rest of their life, everyone wants to find someone to love.

 

[bankside]

I was 24 when I met my guy. 15 years so far. I do feel it is okay to wait for someone you feel like you have a future with, as long as you are active in socializing and meeting different people. When the connection is right it will happen.

 

[gretty]

The main problem with me is I am too shy, quiet and have a boring personality. I don't have much to talk about with anyone and then if I see a guy I like I find it hard to even say hello. I wish I could change the way I am but I cant. Sometimes I feel like life isnt worth living
nobody wants to be alone for the rest of their life, everyone wants to find someone to love.

Hi, PM me n we could chat. Im from Sydney plus nvr had a boyfriend. If you're like me ur not boring u just get shy around people and dont know what to say. Once I am relaxed i'm more interesting and find things to talk about.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Any advice please for me?

Read this poem.


Bloody Men -- Wendy Cope

Bloody men are like bloody buses-
You wait for about a year
And as soon as one approaches your stop
Two or three others appear.
You look at them flashing their indicators,
Offering you a ride.
You’re trying to read the destinations,
You haven’t much time to decide.
If you make a mistake, there is no turning back.
Jump off, and you’ll stand there and gaze
While the cars and the taxis and lorries go by
And the minutes, the hours, the days.

 

[hylas]

so you havent found a boyfriend in four years (because lets be real, finding a boyfriend in the closet is practically impossible). really, its no big deal.

if you enjoy hooking up, then sleep around a little. at least that works for me. every now and then one sticks around for something more serious.

[edit after reading the 2nd post which i initially missed]
dude, with that attitude youll only attract losers and users at best.
i dont know why you would say youre boring, but isnt that something that would be fairly easy to change?
being shy is more difficult to overcome, i know from experience, but its possible, over time, if you just keep working at it.
if youre feeling seriously suicidal, then id urge you to find professional help.

 

[kuladiamond]

Im 24 year old too but im asian do you like it?

 

[earlgrey]

You could always go out and experience more, whether it be movies, dining at new restaurants, exhibitions, galleries, and shows, which would give you more to draw on and take about.

Finding something to talk about is all about being open to share your experiences.

 

[blueshoes]

There is no rush, there is no time limit but I know your frustration. This thread is about you but like many others here I will add my experience: I was 24 when I came out, 24 when I lost my virginity, had NUMEROUS hook ups and somewhat relationships in the following four years then eventually met the guy I'm with now and 4 years later, it is great.

You said nobody wants to be alone for the rest of their lives. This may be true for some but I guarantee you, if you are not happy with yourself you will NOT be happy in a relationship. You will feel happy, warm, validated, important when the relationship first starts then that will fade and you will feel again whatever you are feeling now. Take advantage of the single, now-time and figure yourself out-- what are your passions, what interests you, what can you share with a boyfriend? If you don't know these but are just wanting to be in a relationship to feel validated, the relationship will not turn out the way you hoped it would.

 

[jumblesale]

I came out to close family members when I was 21, and just after leaving university. I am 23 now and like you I haven't been in a relationship.

What I've learnt is that you shouldn't feel like you need to validate yourself to anyone. Travelling from Ireland to Australia for work purposes and exploration proves that you have the ability and motivation to do big and potentially great things with your life. Also, you're still so young; I'm sure there are plenty of straight people that, even if they have been in relationships, haven't been in any decent or long-lasting ones.