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3 DAYS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN: A complicated situation

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Alright this is kind of a complicated situation, hopefully you guys can give me some good advice and help me out...

See, I've been working with this guy for months now, there actually wasn't much of an attraction at first but over time I started to like him. I'd say I've been really into him for about two or three months. Now here's the first thing where it gets complicated, I actually have a boyfriend, one who I've been with for nearly four years and I love with all my heart. Never in this four years of us being together have I ever thought about or even looked at another guy until this one who I'm working with now. I don't really think cheat on my boyfriend or anything and I kno the best thing to do for my relationship would be to leave the situation alone but it's just something about this guy that I can't stop feeling.

Now here's the other thing, I'm actually not really sure if my "work-friend" is gay. He constantly talks about how much he loves girls pussy and getting head from females and things like that but he also does alot of things that makes me thing he may be bi or maybe just very curious and liking me. For instance, every single day at work it seems he goes out of his way to pick with and say things to me, sometimes just playful things such as throwing stuff, or messing up what I'm working on, knocking my things over, bumping me, making little smart comments, just very picky things like that. Of course I do all these things back because I really like him, also a few people who work with me kno about this and when they view things like this they tell us to stop flirting to which he just laughs off. He also asks me questions about my sexuality constantly, to a point where it really seems like he's interested, as it doesn't stop and it's usually really in detail. But he always seems to brush it off after a while by saying something like "I'd never do that shit, how can you not mess with a female, that's nasty" and your typical "straight" homophobe comments like that which I'm sure you've all heard.

Now, I'm actually leaving this job. Wednesday wil actually be my last day as I've found a better one. I've been picking with him saying little things like "I kno how much you're gonna miss me" and "I'm sure you'll be bored and crying every day" for the past week or so to which he just laughs and says something smart that makes it seems like he'll be glad and what not. We get along really well and I really wanna keep talking to him as I think I'm catching feelings but the thing is I'm just so scared to flat out say how I like him and would like to mess with him because I don't kno for sure if he's gay or curious or whatever. I mean, I say little sexual things, and he has too, one comment which really stands out was when he told me he'd "tear it up and have me crying to mama" if I was with him, which actually left me speechless, lol. It's just so frustrating because it's like one minute he's into me and constantly flirting and what not then the next he's saying how he would never and how he loves girls. In a way I look at it like what do I have to loose it's my last few days and if he says no I won't see him as much (but I will be in there often if we continue) so what difference would it make but on the other hand I'm just so scared of the reaction, it just seems like a really delicate situation. I just wish he'd go ahead and make a move but I honestly don't think he's the type to make the first move especially being that it's something he's not used to.

I've though about asking for his number on my last day or something but I really don't kno how to go about it or anything. I'm not sure if he knows I like him or not, if not then something wrong as I constantly throw out hints, especially when we flirt back and forth but who knows. I just really need some advice you guys, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
 
Re: 3 DAYS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN: A complicated situat

If you play with fire, you are going to get burnt. You have a bf of 4 years that you say you love. You seem willing to risk that relationship to lust after some guy that you don't even know is gay. Seems silly to throw away your relationship over a guy that you obviously don't know much about. The best thing you can do is concentrate on your relationship at home and figure out what is wrong with it. If you feel the need to chase after other guys, then you should end your relationship instead before you do anything.
 
Re: 3 DAYS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN: A complicated situat

Seriously, I feel sorry for your boyfriend. You're planning ways to cheat on him and you think that's okay? Unless you are in an open relationship, he deserves better.
 
Re: 3 DAYS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN: A complicated situat

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Realize that it's a fantasy. Enjoy it. Then go home and bugger your boyfriend.
 
Re: 3 DAYS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN: A complicated situat

See that's another thing, during my bf and I's first two years together some things happened that I was hurt by and actually didn't get over until recently. I think that's where some of the feelings for the other guy began as when I got mad at my bf for different things those feeling of resentment for the past would come back and I became attracted to the other guy more probably just out of spite. Like I said tho after the last few months I've really started to like this guy but I've also been really getting better with my bf on the past situation after some long talks and alot of reflection. Now it's at a point as to where I'm all cuddled up with my bf and what not I find myself sad cuz I have these feelings for the other guy and what makes it even worse is the fact that I don't even kno if those feelings would be returned even tho at times it honestly seems like it. Honestly if it came down to it I don't think I'd be able to physically cheat but I do see myself really wanting to talk to this other guy and become closer, even as just friends, but I do want him to kno my feelings and I'd also like to kno if we'd be a possibility at least. I'm just having alot of really mixed emotions on the whole situation.
 
Re: 3 DAYS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN: A complicated situat

I still say you are playing with fire. You say you are over the past issues with your bf, but are using them to justify your desires. Sure doesn't sound like the issues are behind you. My advice, work on your relationship with your bf. Either that, or break up with your bf and play the field. Don't go around trying to get something lined up before you make a decision on what to do with your bf. I personally think you have already crossed a line that shouldn't be crossed in committed relationships. Think long and hard about what you are risking to pursue a fantasy.
 
Re: 3 DAYS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN: A complicated situat

Honestly if it came down to it I don't think I'd be able to physically cheat but I do see myself really wanting to talk to this other guy and become closer, even as just friends, but I do want him to kno my feelings and I'd also like to kno if we'd be a possibility at least. I'm just having alot of really mixed emotions on the whole situation.

You need to work on one relationship at a time. Either fix the relationship that you're in or end it. You don't want to carry baggage from one relationship into the next.
 
Re: 3 DAYS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN: A complicated situat

Okay, so out of curiousity what would you guys say on the situation of I didn't have a boyfriend? If it was just all about the fact of taking that risk and risking us being cool with each other. I mean, if he was to get freaked out or something I'm leaving so it's not like I have to deal with it for long, but then again it's not like I'm never going to see him again and I don't want it to be awkward or anything. But it's just like at most times I strongly feel like it's something there, like he'll be out on the floor working and suddenly he'll come into the back room where I am, maybe just to the door, and just throw something at me or say something smart and walk back to the floor, to which I'll respond "You came back here just to do that?" and he'll just laugh. One of my main fears with it is that he does want me but he may not be ready to act on it and talk to me in that way because I honestly feel the connection it's just that I'm not completely sure...
 
Re: 3 DAYS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN: A complicated situat

You keep trying to justify what you are wanting to do, cheat on your bf. You are looking for support and I don't think you are going to find it here. As long as you are still in a relationship with your bf, any thing you do to pursue your thoughts of the other guy is wrong.
 
Re: 3 DAYS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN: A complicated situat

Okay, so out of curiousity what would you guys say on the situation of I didn't have a boyfriend?

Immaterial. That's not the situation.
 
Re: 3 DAYS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN: A complicated situat

Sounds to me like he likes to flirt and feel good about himself because this gay guy in work fancies the arse off him and he knows it. This is fun for him until you knock it up a notch, which is clearly when he shows that he isn’t comfortable and lets you know he likes pussies and or passes homophobic comments.

He knows you’re gay so if he really did fancy you or want to reciprocate, I’m pretty sure by now he would have made arrangements to get you on your own and do something about it.

In a nutshell… your work colleague likes it when you wank his ego, but not his cock.
 
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