3some with two straight friends....

[dash17]

Ok so about 2 weeks ago I was hanging out with two straight, new friends, and there was lots of vodka involved. I've known them both for a few months.
One of the guys (this beautiful, 20 yr old German) confided how when was growing up at boarding school, he had this 'buddy' who he used to suck off. They used to fool around for about 8 years.

Then the other guy (let's call him Tim) suggested we had a 3some! I was into it - they know I'm gay - so we went back to one of their houses and all got into bed together.

Nothing really happened - I couldn't stop laughing at the weirdness of the situation: getting jiggy with my two straight friends, and the German guy couldn't get it up. But Tim was fully into it - he and I were kissing and fooling around. He's since confessed to me that he considers himself pansexual. Since nothing we happening, we all sorta fell asleep on top of each other.

Now. Tim and I have been sorta hanging out over the last few weeks - going to bars, getting hammered and fooling around. Going to the beach in the middle of the night, etc.

I'm sorta confused though. I don't want to start a relationship, as I've just gotten out of one (with a mutual guy friend of ours - who doesn't know about what's going on) and he has just gotten out of one too.

It's a weird situation. Whenever Tim's drunk he talks about his attraction to guys, but if he's sober, he mainly talks to me - especially in front of other people - about the girl he is seeing.

I dunno. Should I just chill out and enjoy this?

Us three, we hang out separately and in pairs (me and Tim, me and the German guy, the German guy and Tim) and when we've hung out all together we've kind of mentioned the failed threesome! and sorta decided consensually that it won't happen again. But does this leave space for me and Tim to enjoy each other's company? It's winter here in NZ and I'd love a bed-buddy for those cold nights! I definitely don't want a relationship with him, and I'm sure he doesn't want one with me either --- he's dating girls, some of whom I know! But we get together every few nights and make out, and fool around I've talked to him about the male prostate, and I would love to show him the delights of having a finger up one's ass.

What do you reckon - should I continue seeing Tim, or should I back off, as we are all friends, and it could get messy?

 

[evanrick]

sounds like its already messy

 

[CHUCK905]

sounds like its already messy

I agree, a little too late for it not to be messy. But it does remind me of myself in my late teens early 20s. (if you are a minute over 23, this is disturbing).

I have no advice you should take. You'll do what you do. Just know that actions have consequences. Is it worth the risk of losing this friend for the thrill of bedding him. Or he might be trying to work things out for himself and is using you to figure out his own sexuality. It also seems that this mess (for want of better word) extends into a larger group of friends, girlfriends, budz. How will what you do effect each of them and the dynamics between them all.

It could just be a meaningless fun thing and no one gets hurt and everyone will be just fine.

Or NOT.

Sorry to not be at all helpful.

 

[KaraBulut]

As long as everyone is being honest and everyone is clear on the lines between friendship, emotional involvement and experimentation- it's all fair game.

The question is whether this is a true friends with benefits arrangement or whether this is something is going to get messy.

When these guys leave NZ or go off with their girlfriends, is this really going to be something you're going to accept?

 

[Lefty]

Well now,

Not an expert or tyro at this by any means but here is my two bits (.25 euro)

worth. Neither you nor Timmo appear to be looking for a life partner or even

a main squeeze at the moment...You both are fairly athletic and like a bit of

exercise. Just because you both have a different menu at times doesn't mean

you can't get together for a sitdown with a brew and a plate of fish and chips.

Take to it like going to a footie....there for the game, not for the game ball.

But first you two need to talk and affirm it is fun and games not bridal suites

or picket fences.......At your age mate its called PRACTICE.

 

[rareboy]

I dunno. Should I just chill out and enjoy this?

If you are in fact, enjoying it.

Whereas some might see three trains rushing toward a collision or your heart dashed to a thousand jagged pieces when your 'pansexual straight' bff dumps you for some piece of female tail, if you are happy with the status quo, then yup; chill out and enjoy.

 

[backpacker]

2 straight friends? You have got to be kidding. One guy has an eight history of gay sex and the other has hooked up with you repeatedly. It's very safe to say that neither one is even close to straight. My guess is that your current hook up is probably as gay as you, but wants to be straight. Until he figures out his own sexuality, it will be hard for him to be in any relationship. If all you want is no strings attached sex, then go for it. If you think you could develop feelings for him, then you would be better to move on now. As far as the other guy goes, you don't owe him any anything just because you almost hooked up with him one night. I seriously doubt that he cares who you sleep with.

 

[erobert]

2 straight friends? You have got to be kidding. One guy has an eight history of gay sex and the other has hooked up with you repeatedly. It's very safe to say that neither one is even close to straight. My guess is that your current hook up is probably as gay as you, but wants to be straight. Until he figures out his own sexuality, it will be hard for him to be in any relationship. If all you want is no strings attached sex, then go for it. If you think you could develop feelings for him, then you would be better to move on now. As far as the other guy goes, you don't owe him any anything just because you almost hooked up with him one night. I seriously doubt that he cares who you sleep with.

Yeah, these guys are not straight. They need to be more honest with themselves about their sexuality.

If you want friends with benefits, be careful developing feelings for someone who's only in it for sex is a slippery slope to heartbreak if you are developing feelings for one or both of them. You could even have a love triangle brewing which probably wouldn't turn out well either

I think you need to talk with your friends and everyone really needs to be more honest with eachother.