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42 married guy needs advice

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newanddue68

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I am a 42 year old married guy, I have never done anything with another man, but I think about it everyday, I do have a couple guys that say they are very straight but would like me to pleasure them, but thats not what I want, I want a guy that wants to pleasure and be pleasured, but I am really not the type of person to just ask something like this so thats why I am here, I need advice, I live in a farm community in Indiana that is not open to these things, but I have thought about these things for years, and dont know what to do about it,
Please help Thank you
 
Well, and you're not going to like this. The first thing you need to do is get your own house in order.

I'm assuming you're married to a woman, and I'm assuming she doesn't know about this.

So, you made a commitment, your first responsibility is to your partner, and if you can't control this, you need to let her go, before you cheat on her.

Up to this point, you've done nothing wrong, but the moment you step over that line, you'll make things far worse than they already are.

I'll let some of the other formerly married guys give you advice on how to deal with your marriage. They'll know better than I about that.
 
This is not all about you. You have a wife (probably children??). Is this something you really want to do to them? You have thought about this alot, you said. Now think about doing what is right.
 
I have thought about it alot and her, her and I are a long story, and I will deal with that,
How do Ifind other men that feel like I do ??? Or are they out there ???
 
Yes it is tough, there hasnt really been any love in our relationship in a lonnng time, but what you said about women id bang, I dont, That is what I feel when I see a hot guy and I feel that everyday ??? I dream about and think about being with a man everyday ???
 
First, I am not going to unload a bunch of morality bull shit on you. What goes on between you and your wife is your business. You are an adult and know the consequences if you get caught fucking around. Simple enough.

Second, read and learn everything you can about gay sex. This site has tons of information. PM guys and chat online with guys about gay sex. Knowledge is one of the keys to enjoying your first gay sex experience.

Third, do you have any idea if you want to top, bottom, or be versatile? Being versatile is a great place to start if you are unsure. It will come natural to what you enjoy the most. If there is any possibilty that you will bottom your first few times hooking up, you need to prep your ass. Otherwise, it will feel like you need to shit while you are getting fucked. You won't enjoy the experience.

Fourth, you need to find guys to have sex with. Gay hook up sites are not for everyone, but I like them. I am looking for sex, not a long term relationship. Gay hook up sites are filled with other guys looking for the same thing. I use Adam4Adam and Manhunt and have had good success. Be sure to play safe.

If you have any questions, just PM me or chat with me online. I will be glad to help. Good Luck.
 
Mike,
Thanks you very much that is what im looking for, you have answered a lot of my questions, I really dont know what iwant for sure but I wanna try everything,
 
Why are you even staying married if your mind is elsewhere. You missed your chance to experiment when you made that commitment. Be a man and talk about your feelings with your wife before acting on them. Tsk...
 
Sleep with dogs.

Wake up with fleas.
 
Guys... just a reminder that this is the No Flame Zone. Offer advice to the OP and don't argue with advice offered by others in the thread. If you feel strongly about another poster's advice- take it to PM. Don't take the thread off-topic with back-and-forth arguing between posters.
 
Get a divorce. And then let your life really begin.

That's what I did 4 years ago at 43.
 
I second what Lube said.

My bf used to be married and has two kids. He came out in his 50's and is 70 now.

What helped him when he came out was finding a support group for gay fathers. Perhaps you can find a similar group (perhaps online) for gay married guys.

Do you have kids?
 
It's a long journey you are about to begin, yet many have walked before you. Read past posts of the guys on this board who write that they, like you, were married. I tumbled out at 42, and can say I'm very happy at 48. We're out there, so please don't think you are the only one.

Hopefully this link will travel, it gives great insight:

http://www.cnn.com/video/?/video/bestoftv/2010/08/26/ricks.r.clarke.cooper.intv.cnn
 
If there hasn't been any love in your relationship in a long time and you are definitely into guys, where do you think your marriage is going? From what you wrote, it sounds like it's not going to get any better. So why stay in the marriage? You may have good reasons to stay, but are they more important than being able to freely pursue your happiness? Only you can answer that. I'm sure you know that if you get caught cheating with a guy, you will probably get screwed if your wife decides to divorce you. If you are staying for kids, I can somewhat understand that. Here's something to consider, are your kids better off living in a home with a loveless marriage or would they be better off with two parents who are happy? I'm a firm believer that it's not healthy for kids to grow up living in a home with a dysfunctional marriage.

Others have noted websites where you can meet guys. Those should solve your problem of meeting guys. Just keep in mind that dating guys is a lot like dating women. You will probably have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince.
 
I use to be in your shoes, then I just told my wife that I was Bi....
Much to my surprise she was ok with it. Not only that now she really enjoys hearing all about it. Go for it; you only live once...
 
Being faithful to one's partner in a committed relationship has always been important to me.

However, over the years I have learned that many men are struggling with their bisexuality in a not too happy marriage relationships.

Don't kid yourself that a bit of sex on the side will fix things up. IMHO, if you are as desperate as you sound then do seek out friendship with a male. When you bond so that you are more than just friends, I have a hunch that the sex will just happen and will then seem so right.

We all make our accommodations to our "animal urges" knowing that is not really wise to try to surpress them.

No strings attached sex may give you temporary relief, but, IMHO, sex without love is really a dead end from the get go.
 
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