The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

A 12 yr old boy confides in me

sentirpromesas

sentirpromesas

Sex God
Joined
Aug 22, 2004
Posts
803
Reaction score
1
Points
0
Location
San Antonio
I work for a youth organization. Well, about a week ago, I saw one of our newer kids just sitting alone. So I approach him and sit down to talk to him. At first he wouldn't say anything but then as I was about to leave, he tells me that he recently recently broke up with his gf and that his best friend who happens to be gay asked him out. now, something in the way he said it made me think instantly that this gay bestfriend was actually him. I gave him advice about telling his friend nicely that he isn't interested and left it at that.
The next day this boy approaches me and thanks me for the advice. Then he asks "how do you know your gay?" He tells me he doesn't like doing "boy things" and that he rather be shopping than playing sports. I explained to him that not all boys like sports but he has a very set notion of gender based on stereotypes. anyway, i don't really know what to do. Do I confess to being gay to him? and tell him there's nothing wrong to being gay? He has also said he wants to be normal just like all the boys who like girls. He is really confused and at times i just wanna hug him and tell him everything is fine. But obviously that's not good. I dunno, i really wanna help this kid but I just don't know how to make things easier.
 
Sentir,

My initial reaction is NOT to tell him that you are gay, given that you work in a youth organization (i.e., word spreading to naive and uneducated parents might quickly peg you as a pedophile - watch the movie Say Uncle and you will see what I mean). Revealing yourself to him serves no useful purpose at this time. However, telling him there is nothing wrong with being gay and assuring him that he's still a special person and not treating him any differently is the best thing you could do. Encouraging tolerance where appropriate in your organization is also a wise thing to go, so that it fosters a comfortable environment for him.

You never mentioned whether your youth org is religious or not, in which case my last piece of advice would be more difficult to implement. In any case, definitely be there for him as his friend and confidant because at 12 he surely needs someone to trust.

..|
 
we are not a religious organization, anymore...initially i think it was, but over the next 75 years we have gone secular...my boss knows i'm gay and so do my coworkers as well as a few of the older kids...i'm not exactly closeted at work, i wear my rainbow bracelet daily as well as have many political buttons on my messenger bag...but yeah, it always makes me afraid to think that parents wont understand and right away label me a pedophile because im gay and working with kids...but i do try to implement tolerance...i avoid gender specific terms when i deem it necessary and stuff like that...but yeah i probably wont tell him yet...my bf calls me a rainbow magnet cuz this isnt the first time this has happened...
 
I see ...

Perhaps he already has some clue that you are gay and felt comfortable approaching you. Kids are not stupid these days. If you're wearing a visible rainbow bracelet and it's out there (so to speak) that you are - he perhaps heard it from others. I think that is enough info to show without saying anything. I think you're perhaps being sought as a role model and he may want to be more like you: confident and happy as you sound to be. I think that is great.
 
"confident and happy as you sound to be" are u calling me a flamer? hahahaha...yeah well i dont think he noticed the bracelet initially until yesterday i was absent mindedly playing with it and he asked why i was wearing a rainbow bracelet to which i of course responded "i like rainbows, rainbows are my favorite" I really wanna help him, he talks very little, i wish he would just spill everything so he could feel better lettin it all out...but i guess we were all there
 
He's only 12. He may be gay or not, but he's too young to go into too many details with. Just assure him that some people are straight and some are gay and that both are good. Let him know he can talk to you if anyone bullies him. And I'd mention this to my supervisor(s), if I were you, so there's transparancy in your dealings with him.
 
yeah, i told him that its ok to be unsure. and i think im gonna follow ur advice josher and tell my boss...transparency is always best
 
we are mostly recreational...we really dont have any counseling services...our organization aims at providing a safe place where kids can just go to have fun...

but thanx for the advice guys!
 
:-) I live in Florida....
You need to be very careful about what you talk to a youth under 18 years of age about.
In my state you can have legal problems by talking with a youth if a parent complains about the subject matter discussed. In my state the owner of a computer that lets a youth surf the net can be charged if the parent complains. Today I'm very careful about the kind of conversation I have with any under 18 year old youth and I will not let any youth surf the net with my computer. We live in a vey different kind of world.:confused:
 
There's a safe discussion area for him at www.emptyclosets.com . Although I can't quite recall the minimum age.

Perhaps you could point him there without revealing your sexuality.
 
I think before yout ake any action, inform your boss. Let him know that you have a kid (no identity revealed) that is going through some issues. Since you'd like to help him, perhaps you and your boss can think of ways to approach it. That way, if you do reveal your sexuality, and a parent finds out, your boss will be fully informed and equipped to deal with it. The worst thing is for him to know you would never do anything to that kid, but not have any way to prove it or know what it was you had done.

So some suggestions, after you've talked with your boss, is to let him know that he's not all alone. He probably thinks that he's the only one, right, because he said he wishes he could be like all the other guys and just like girls. I think either stating that you have lots of gay friends or know lots of gay people (or that you are one) will really help him realize that he's not by himself.

If he's concerned about not fitting into those gender stereotypes, try liking it to other common exmaples he may not have thought about. Like, how some girls hate 'girly' things and paly sports all the time and how some girls only like girly things and don't plays ports. Or how some guys are just better at different things, like drawing, or school, or videogames, but not sports. Being different is rough in the younger years of life, but you can get him to be happy with what he is and what he likes and what he's good at. Instead of having him focus on what he doesn't like but feels like he should, try helping him list the things he's good at.

Anyone you know who's also interested in those things or good at those things would be great to bring up, because they demonstrate to him that those things have value or are parts of valuable, independent people. And that, of course, includes his sexual orientation.

The best thing would be to ensure that he knows he can talk to you if he ever needs to about anything, including his sexuality.
 
um, he's 12...it's a little early for him to be figuring things out, isn't it?
 
I was just wondering if having girlfriends or boyfriends at 12 is the norm now?
 
Yeah, you don't need to tell him you're gay. In schools, teachers are encouraged to post "Safe Place" posters in their classrooms to let students know they can seek help and support about their identity from the teacher. It doesn't mean the teacher has to be gay.

I think you're doing a good thing so far. Let him know he can talk to you about anything if it's appropriate with the level of conduct at your job.
 
You don't tell him you're gay. An early response would be to let him know he is OK the way he is even though he may have other messages from himself and others. Ask questions about his family and the possibility of support at home, and find some 800 # help lines for him. Do not take him under your wing except to offer support.
 
Actually kids seem to be doing a lot more "grown up" things nowdays than just ten years ago ..even....
Many are "Dating" and een into "hook-Ups" aka "Sexual Relationships" ... Many doing away with the "relationship" Factor and just having plain ole Raw SEX ...
From what I've been able to figure out is that way too many kids are starting at around 12 -13 years of age to become sexually active , no matter what the sexual orientation .
All we can do is to try to discourage them from being sexually active and to be there and support them emotionally if or when they need it ; or so I believe ..
 
Just by being there for him and being accepting of him you will accomplish a great deal. I would just start with that if I were you.
 
thnx for the advice guys...today i talked to my boss to which he said "u dont have to tell me every conversation u have with a member (of the youth organization), i didnt hire you because i just needed another pair of eyes, i hired you because i knew you would be a resposible role model for all the boys" so im happy, still gonna let him know about our "progress" my boss also said about being careful not to seem like im "teaching" him to be "that way" (my boss is still a lil uncomfortable with the thought of gay lil boys) but that lettin him know he is not alone is crutial
 
Sounds like your boss is pretty cool, even if he is not completely comfortable with the subject. Good job of being supportive for the kid. I'm sure he probably already figured out that you are gay and that's why he decided to confide in you. You don't need to tell him, unless he asks. My guess is that he probably has a good sense that he is gay, but of course he is young and just entering puberty, therefore his feeling could change in the next couple of years. Just tell him it is OK to be himself and that he doesn't need to be like everyone else.
 
I think 12 was about the age I had the creeping fear in the back of my mind that "Oh no! I might be gay!" And prayer seemed like the best answer.

I really would have preferred someone like a counselor to talk to instead talking to no one on my knees.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top