a 5 year old scar...

[innocentbychoice]

I don't know if a letter is such a good idea. What if someone else opens it? What if nobody's in the house anymore? I'd say keep searching online.

 

[backpacker]

I like it here... I am happy with my life but I feel like there's something missing... Im happy with my friends... somewhat with my family ( not that I really care what goes on I just ignore them ) my studies are challenging enough... And I'm thinking im just like this because I can't find someone...

I think you have the problem pretty well figured out. Moving to another place won't magically cure the problem. The best thing you can do is get involved in some gay groups and you will probably meet some guys.

With regard to the letter, you are much better off to make it short. Just say you would like to reconnect with him and give him your phone number. Save all the deep emotional stuff for some other time. As someone else noted, the letter could be read by someone else, such as his parents. Additionally, if you put too much emotional stuff in the letter, you may scare him. Given how close you were, you shouldn't need to say too much for him to have an interest in reconnecting.

 

[kijadeleon]

Lol, thanks for the advice!

Now I have yet another dilemma! XD

I'm pretty much attracted to two boys on campus.
So I keep wondering how exactly to talk to them, when I don't EVER talk to them at all lol. But they do tend to glance at me from afar.

My friend just keeps telling me " go introduce yourself and ask him if he'd like to go with you for a soda or coffee" and I'm like " But... I don't even know him! don't you think he might find it weird I'm asking him out for a coffee or a soda?!" he never answers my question back so I'm like completely stuck!

any other advice that doesn't involve me asking either one of them flat out for a coffee or a soda?!

 

[backpacker]

Since you are on campus, use it to your advantage. Are they in the same class as you? If so, ask them a questions about the lecture. Pretend you didn't understand something or you missed the homework assignment.

If you don't have any classes in common, look for something else. Pretend like you are looking for your friend and ask them if you have seen them. Ask them if they know where X (building, restaurant, etc.) is. You get the idea. Find a fairly easy question that won't seem too odd to ask them. From there you could ask about their major and say that you are exploring your options. If you get a little conversation going, them you can to get together for a soda. You can also ask them about extra-circular activities.

Give us an update on your lost friend. Any luck contacting him by phone? Did you send a letter?

 

[kijadeleon]

Lol, I'll explain.

One of them is in Geometry and Trig, he has the whole cute, mysterious, sexy, surfer kind of style ( I'm a fool for guys who surf and skateboard ) He takes geometry with me but I just have no idea on how to talk to him! lol, and um there's also another friend of mine, he's gay and all and he just came up to me when he caught me looking at the guy and said " don't waste your time, I think he's straight " So instantly my hopes are shattered and then there's the whole gut feeling I have. Unfortunately I barely ever trust in my intuition. And let's just say sometimes I glance at him and all of a sudden he'll glance at me as well but I never let our eyes meet since I tend to tilt my head away. So it's like a cat and mouse game lol. One of these days... I'm deffinitely going to have to end that game. lol.

Now! as for the other guy!
I was walking towards the stairs reading a game magazine so I probably must've bumped him with my messenger bag (I'm pretty dangerous concidering I have alot of crap in it lol)
so I said srry, he just says it's ok or w/e I wasn't paying attention then all of a sudden I stop right at the foot of the stairs and keep reading and from my peripheral vision I see him chuckling to himself, while he looked at me, ( it still makes me blush whenever I think about it) so anyways. I just cant seem to wonder what was wrong with me, I was looking good, my clothes were nice and clean, I was wearing my favorite jeans, olive green low tops and my favorite aeropostal sweater. and I had gottena hair cut back then. So I didn't find anything wrong with me. back to the guy lol, Incredibly enough, I am gifted with the power to recall even the smallest details of a moment that probably leaves it's marks on my mind. ( example, I still rememember that day I came out to lexie, he was in his mother's room in the dark, and before he went there I saw him take his towel, and when I called him that I was going to leave, when he came out, his shirt wasn't tucked in, and his one of his longsleeve's was pulled up to his shoulder, not to mention he was wearing green basketball shorts which didn't help him conceal that half-bone he was sprouting lol, which gave him away that he was having a 'real good time' by himself in his mom's room) Anyways, yeah he just kept glancing at me and he chuckled at me like 4 times and shook his head, so Im thinking "Okay?..." then a few days later I walked into the cafe and as soon as I looked forward to the cash register, I saw him looking at me, and he was chuckling again! I could tell he wasn't paying attention to his friends... anyways yeah. everytime I see the guy he's always smiling at me, (great smile btw!) and on wednessday I saw him again. He was chatting with a buddy but he would glance at me sometimes I of course was just whispering to my newly found anime-like friend about his behaviour and she tells me " go talk to him then! " I practically squealed at her with a no. she just laughed. He must've heard me because he started to giggle and he was looking my way, I was wearing shades so he probably couldn't tell I was looking at him xD!!! and No sadly I don't know his name, his classes, let alone his sexuality, but I think he might be interested... or Im just making a big deal out of this! Hint, I AM SO NOT USED TO GUYS HITTING ON ME... and as for the details part, the first day I bumped into him, he wasn't using headphones or handsfree at all, and he wasn't talking to anyone at all... but I did notice this, he was well pretty much having acne breakouts, and when I saw him on wednessday his skin cleared up alot, which made him even cuter!!!! xD I just wished he had asked me if the mag I was reading was a new one or something then I wouldn't have to be worrying about crap!

Anyways... Im just soo bad for stuff like that! usually when i make friends people come to me! yes... they literally fall on my lap or something lol.

any advice?! course I'll have to wait till tuesday to back to campus, and um I sorta missed my ride today and I was planning to give the "I forgot if we had anything to do today for class excuse to the Geometry guy, and If I saw the mr.chuckle guy I'd probably would've gone and ask him for some advice on a sktech, design or w/e I happened to had drawn in my sketchbook weeks ago. So yeah... I'll try to keep that determination throughout the weekend.

And as for the letter, Im re-reading it and im trying to shorten it out, um... I'll post it somewhere as blog for you guys to give me some help, course I'll post the original one! as well so you guys can compare it or whatever. I don't mind since I know you guys won't be mean about it! lol.

(hope my sister doesn't catches me on this website on her laptop! that's going to be a hell of a hard thing to explain to her! lol )

the letter I plan on sending it tomorrow, after my mom's done with her catering service. In the afternoon I've got plans with my buddies to play DDR XD!!! Sucking up to mom to give me some money is a piece of cake! sucky part is they're all straight lol. what I'd give to have a gay friend who just happened to be my neighbor and my age, AND went to campus with me.

anyways, thanks for reading and as always,

you guys rock for the advice! lol!

 

[backpacker]

The second guy sounds like there is a lot more potential than the first guy. You should still try to make small talk with the first guy and try to determine if he is gay. Just don't get your hopes up too high.

With the second guy there are some indications that he might be interested. Pay attention to him and see if you can spot a magazine or something else that would give you an idea of his interests. Use that information to strike up a conversation. If nothing else, try to work it out so that you guys are both inline at the cafe at the same time. If the tables are crowded, ask to share his table. Use whatever you can to start a conversation.

 

[kijadeleon]

Lol, I will! I just need to get my ass back to campus tomorrow! and beg to all the gods and goddesses out there to help me find him! Well concidering the built in supernatural lowjack, he shouldn't be tough to find! lol.

Minor update: I think I might be moving on, I don't feel the pain anymore, how? I don't know. But hey, life moves on right? I still miss him, he was the best thing ever lol. Oh and I sorta got into a fight with an old highschool buddy, he was being narrowminded and a complete utter fool.

All I did was ask him if he was free and he replied "no, why?" and I tell him that I wanted to check out some wiccan books at borders and that's when it all went down hill. he started saying it was dangerous and that he didn't support it and stuff, so I tried to explain and reason to him that all I wanted to do was read it to broaden my horizons a bit, after all it's been an interest since childhood and he again says I don't care, that shit is dangerous and I don't support it. so that's when he really ticked me off and i blew up. and I said "I'm not F***** telling you do anything! all I asked was if you could go with me, so I could check out the books, since I'm bored and I wanted to hang out with you but aparently you're too narrowminded and consumed with your own idiocy." and I just blocked him and sat on my couch to read more and imagine many ways I could rip his body apart . ( I know, I've got issues but that's not the problem lol ) Anyways, he's been a narrow minded idiot for more than 3 months, ever since he met his girlfriend ( btw, the douche bag's 18 and she's 15... so uh yeah... me and him have known eachother since the 10th grade now we're in different colleges.) He wasn't like that before. He'd hang out with me and wouldn't go pissing me off every 10 seconds we talked. But lately he apparently has a bad case of watchamacallit? Diarrhea of the mouth. So I'm deciding on dropping him the next time he beings the sewage talk.

*Sigh* I do want to keep him in my life but I've got no time to spare on a narrow minded idiot who can't tell the difference of a "I want to hang out with you" from a "let's go do something stupid and dangerous!"

so what do you guys think I should do about my narrowminded friend? he's got his head too far up his ass for me to even reason with him lately. Specially after last night's little spectacle. I'm seriously concidering on dropping him, like I said, I don't have time to deal with idiots.

Thanks for reading, and any commets welcome!

 

[kijadeleon]

MAJOR UPDATES GUSY!!! !!!

I don't know, today during classes I was spacing out like a crackhead on weed lol. anyways, um on my way to the parking lot with my bromanced friend lol ( I used to have a crush on him but not anymore lol he's a bit uptight about it but he always is. ) I felt strange as heck. the wind was blowing, the sky was clear! it was warm as F**** today lol. sorry, um yeah I'm incredibly happy. I was listening to the mirror's edge main theme song a friend from campus was nice enough to bring and pass it onto my cellphone lol, which btw Is AWESOME I recommend it to anyone who likes vocalizations in their music. moving on, halfway home, I decided to give it the old college try one more time, and this time my long lost friend's sister answered!!! I was so shocked I lost my manners! lol it went down something like this.
me >> who am I speaking to?
her >> hello? who's this?
me >> um does S... live there?
her >> yes, who's this?
me >> m...?! is this M...?!!
her >> yes it is me, now who's this?
me >> oh wow, M.... it's me! J...!
her>> who?
me >> um you don't remember me?! it's me J... I used to live upstairs 5 years ago?
her >> sorry I don't remember...
Me >> probably because my mom never called me by my real name!, do you remember someone called C...?
her >> Omg! yes! C... how are you?!!!
me >> Im good! how are you?
her >> I'm good! so where are you guys living?
me >> oh, we're still in PR it's really warm and windy today, kidna like those nice summer days in NY!
her >> that's good to hear!
Me>> yeah, um listen, is S... there?
her >> no, actually, he's in the hospital.
me >> oh, what happened ?!
her >> when we were on vacation something bit him and he got an infection...
me >> oh I see, well I'm sure he'll be fine.
her >> yeah!
me >> hey, write down this number, it's my cellphone.
her >> the 787 one?
me >> yep that one. Next time you see him, could you tell him to call me? I'm sure he'll be suprised!
her >> sure! I will.
me >> thanks M... I have to go now, take care.
her >> okay, bye C...

I was so shocked, I forgot my manners. lol I'll call tomorrow and see how it's going. or should I call again later?! ooh Im soo happy I finally got to talk to at least someone! ^_^ yes, I trust her, she was really nice to me back then.

So what do you guys think?! My mom was somewhat happy I got in touch with his sister, at least it's a start. I'm worried about the condition he's in, but I'm sure as hell, he'll be fine. I am praying with all my soul and heart. Um... I'll post more if anything else comes to mind, so as a favor I'd like you guys to pray for my friend's health I will join you also in prayer. ^_^ I just know he'll be fine! he always is.

well I'ma head off now, I'm really tired, I slept from 5 pm to 1 am yesterday and I haven't slept at all today lol.

cya guys later, any comments and feedback welcomed!

blessed be!

 

[backpacker]

Good job!!! Given that he's in the hospital, I wouldn't expect a return call right away. Give it about a week and if you haven't heard from him call again. If you can't wait that long, you could always call to check to see how he's doing. Keep in mind that he may be on some drugs and he may forget about your message by the time he is able to call you. That's why I say call again in a week if you haven't heard from him.

 

[kijadeleon]

Lol, actually that was the plan, tomorrow I'm going to call again and hope to all the gods and goddesses of every religion available ( except satan's LOL!!!) that it's his sister again that picks up the phone, I'm not sure how I'd be able to handle his mom or dad, I barely understood his dad when he spoke to us sometimes back then, anyways, I'll do my best! I just got a grip on him and im not about to let go that easily! and like I said, I know he'll come through, my heart says it out loud like it was me who was screaming it!

also, I don't know... I think of all the bad things happening around me, and for some reason I feel at ease, because I just feel like they're all going to get better and go away. I felt that the instant I felt the wind touching my face today.
I'm a weird one alright! lol

thanks for reading again, any feedback welccomed

 

[spencer]

I know what "stalker" me would do, but I'm not going to advise you to do it, heck, let's just leave this post at that good luck, haha

 

[kijadeleon]

lmao, thanks spence, hmm I'm still pondering on wether to call or not! any advice guys?! lol, I could sure as hell use some right about now, ( I'm feeling restless and a bit nervous >_<)

 

[3nipples]

Advice? I don't really know... wait to see if he calls you tomorrow and if he doesn't then you call back.

 

[innocentbychoice]

You should ask his sister his cellphone number!! Tell her you just want to say hi to him and see how he's doing. The fact that he's in the hospital is a perfect excuse.

 

[spencer]

I know what "stalker" me would do, but I'm not going to advise you to do it, heck, let's just leave this post at that good luck, haha

Fine! I'll tell you!

Since you know his name and you know where he lives (therefore which hospitals). You can call them and ask to be connected to his room (during visiting hours). Jeez, I didn't say nuthin

 

[kijadeleon]

- Spence -
thanks spence, actually all I know is his nickname! lmao his real name was a hell of alot harder to remember it was probably like 13 characters and his dad's last name was even tougher to remember, so basically being young and all I just used his nickname and his mom's last name which was conveniently short and easier to remember! but pretty much the way I managed to get a lockdown on him was by using the old address and his mom's last name and from there I just prayed and prayed I was right! and I was! lol!

- innocent -
OMG innocent thank you! that is a great idea why didn't I just asked if he had a cellphone...> god Im dumb, guess as nervous as I was I forgot about doing that during the excitement and what not! anyways I overslept today so I wasn't able to call but tomorrow for sure since it's a Sunday and I'm hoping his sister answers again! it'd be weird If his mum were to pick the phone! I didn't really talk to her much but as far as I can remember she was really nice to me. Always asked if I my mom needed anything and stuff lol.

- 3nipples -
thanks for the warm advice nips XD.
He didn't call but I'm going to have to get my balls in order again and call myself! I'll beg if i have to haha, it's been 5 years I'm not about to lose track of him that easily!

all in all! I already made a decision, instead of taking summer classes on campus I've decided to drop a visit to the good ol' new york city.

course the real reasons are because my medical crap is all over in the united states and not on puerto rico xD here if I get violently ill all I can do is resort to homeopathic remedies which work! and I rarely get sick ( I'm a virgo duh! ) but I do tend to get injured a lot... Im so not coordinated at all, I'll lose my balance rather quickly if I think about it too much xD Which I should get checked out by the docs when I get there...

And because I want to visit my nephew which lives in PA and I'll be helping my sister in law keeping him busy while both my bro and her work through out the day.

well that's all, and thanks again for reading and your never ending support!

till next time!

love you guys! bye!

 

[kijadeleon]

SUPER OMEGA INCREDIBLE HAPPIEST UPDATE OF MY LIFE!!!


sorry lol, um yeah I just called his sister picked up, I asked for him, she put him on.

here's part of the convo:

"hey foo, remember me?!"
"of course I do! how've you been?"
" oh you know, same old same old, just working on self improvement"
"what kind?"
"shyness lol"
"oh!"
"so where are you now? are you still in DR?"
"No silly! Im in PR lol"
" oh! so when are you coming back?" ( that question meant to me more than my life)
"erm well, I'm going to PA for the summer, but I'm sure I can crack a visit at ya!"
"cool! so you're in college now right?"
" yep!, I'm studying Graphic Arts, I might get into video games later on"
"that's cool, video games as in making them right?"
"yeah, it's been my life long dream to make a video game!, so how about you what are you studying?"
" I have no idea what I want to study, there's just alot I want to do."
" Lol, you'll get an idea soon. happened to me at first too!" (note I said he was a year older than me, but I skipped a year of highschool in NY, because my english was practically flawless! I don't know... don't ask me... principals were weird back then)

then he just gave me his cellphone number and told me to call him in a bit because he was going to shower.

Anyways, I told him it's been 5 years since we've talked and he's says has it really been that long? and I simply laugh and say yep! it's been 5 years.
and he says seems like 1 or 2 years since you left.

He definitely makes me happy... just by hearing him. his voice hasn't changed one bit. he remembers beating me at kirby air ride lol, but he sure as hell remembers me dominating him on Soul Calibur II with Ivy! anyways I should go and call him
again now! I'll let you guys on how it goes!

cya! and honestly I don't know... you guys try to help me find out if he still wants me xD

as always all feedback and stuff welcomed!
thanks for reading guys

 

[innocentbychoice]

Awesomeee!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats. I knew you could pull it off.

BTW, can you repost the convo with the names of the 2 of you before each line? Like:

A: blah blah
B: Oh yeah blah...

The way you wrote it it's really hard to follow.

 

[backpacker]

Awesome!!! I'm so glad you were able to get in contact with him. Sounds like he's interested in getting the friendship re-established.

 

[yourally]

Oh wow.

Gosh, you're so friggin lucky. Ugh.

The way you post makes me laugh so hard. Haha, best of wishes to you and no offense, but...

DUH! Of course he still wants you!