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A Bi-Curious friend...

xdudex123

xdudex123

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So one of my friends has plenty of hardcore bi-tendencies and has been blown by a dude before. He knows i've messed around with a guy before and we both flirt alot. My issue? I want to mess around with him sooo fucking badly, and Im jealous of the lucky asshole of the dude that blew him and that it could possibly happen again with that guy--he also has a really flirtatious personality so it makes it hard to read "signals". Idk, im really confused, this seems like an easy enough situation; he's bi-curious.. im bi-curious, we both find each other attractive, and we're both very horny. Sexuality is pretty much unspoken because we both just kind of have sexual urges and shit and know that we just find everyone hot, but i guess i have sexual tension toward him i'm not sure if he does back. Im confused. Should I bring it up? Should i just let it go? I don't want to be "that" guy that says, "if you ever want to hook up, im here..." Advice would be awesome. :help:
 
TALK TO HIM

Holy shit, I had a straight friend who I wanted to blow, and I did blow him...more than once...because I came here, told the tale, and people told me to quit being a chickenshit.

So quit being a chickenshit and talk to him.
 
I don't want to be "that" guy that says, "if you ever want to hook up, im here..."
Click to expand...

And that is your problem.

If you don't want to be honest with him (and yourself) then stop whimpering and just leave the idea alone.

Oh. And if you value your platonic friendship with him, than leave the idea alone.
 
Are you looking for a relationship or just to fool around? If he's embarrassed or unsure about his sexuality it's probably easier for him to experiment with someone who's not a close friend.

Also, you can't change what he wants, but he might not know/understand what you want. You could try being a little more overt about your experiences/curiosity.
 
theplayerking said:
Are you looking for a relationship or just to fool around? If he's embarrassed or unsure about his sexuality it's probably easier for him to experiment with someone who's not a close friend.
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This is what I was thinking too.

The problem is that you don't know unless you talk it out with him. There's nothing wrong with talk. If you both decide it would weird-out your friendship, you both might decide it's best not to go there. If, on the other hand, you're both curious about each other and it would bring your friendship stronger and to a new level, then you might decide it's a great thing to do.

Either way, talk to him and clear the air so you can breath again. Good luck--let us know what happens.
 
I'll be the dissenter. Ask him (aloofly, if you wish), "Hey, if we're both bi-curious and horny all the time, how come we've never don anything together?" Then make with the hot bi-curious monkey sex.

Lex
 
xdudex123 said:
So one of my friends has plenty of hardcore bi-tendencies and has been blown by a dude before. He knows i've messed around with a guy before and we both flirt alot. My issue? I want to mess around with him sooo fucking badly, and Im jealous of the lucky asshole of the dude that blew him and that it could possibly happen again with that guy--he also has a really flirtatious personality so it makes it hard to read "signals". Idk, im really confused, this seems like an easy enough situation; he's bi-curious.. im bi-curious, we both find each other attractive, and we're both very horny. Sexuality is pretty much unspoken because we both just kind of have sexual urges and shit and know that we just find everyone hot, but i guess i have sexual tension toward him i'm not sure if he does back. Im confused. Should I bring it up? Should i just let it go? I don't want to be "that" guy that says, "if you ever want to hook up, im here..." Advice would be awesome. :help:
Click to expand...

Some thoughts.

1. How old are you?

2. We don’t know this guy. All we know is your perspective of this guy. You’d better be sure you’re reading him right before you do anything.

3. What do you want from him? Is it just lust? Are you capable of no strings attached sex? Being jealous of him getting head from someone else would seem to suggest more. If there’s the slightest chance that in a month or so you’re back on here starting threads about how you’re in love with your best friend, maybe you should think very carefully before you do anything.

4. Talking is all well and good, and while I’m usually a huge advocate of talk, guys who aren’t comfortable with their sexuality generally don’t want to have conversations about it. Is he comfortable with his sexuality? Does he care if it’s public knowledge that he likes guys? Conflicted guys may find it a whole lot easier to fuck around with someone who’s not a friend. Before you do anything, be sure what he’s willing to give, that’s gonna require talk, but then you’ll never even get that far if he doesn’t even want to have the discussion.

5. There are plenty of hot guys out there perfectly willing to stick their cock in your mouth without all the angst issues that you seem to have over this guy. SO if it has to be him, why is that?

6. This is as much about you as it is about him, figure out your motives first. If what you’re really looking for is some kind of intimacy with this guy, possibly as a prelude to something else – well, “bi-curious” guys of dubious intent probably aren’t the best candidates.
 
Ghost & Milboy: Thanks. I love the encouragement. Especially Milboy, that's awesome, I really wish it would work that way for me.

rareboy: It's not that i haven't been honest with him, it's just that it's never really come up in coversation. We're both pretty open about being open--not necessarily talking about being bi or whatever but it's not really hidden. I do value our platonic relationship, probably more than just a random hook-up so im guessing i should just leave it alone?

player: Im not looking for a relationship, that being said a regular "fuck buddy" thing would be awesome. I feel like we're both being flirtatious and touchy but nothing (even when the time is perfect for it) comes of it.

eagle: Thank you so much. That was awesome advice. I don't really talk things out with people because im scared or what "could" happen. Guess I just have to stop being a little bitch and talk. Im looking forward to that breath or relaxation and will definitely let you know what happens.

Lex: if we do talk, that's precisely how it'll go. :D

txbeau: Im 19, my perspective is all i can offer, if I knew what he was thinking or what he might be leaning more towards, I would be posting this. I really do feel that what i percieve is correct, but then again who doens't? I know for a fact that he's been blown by another dude, and would be willing to try it again.
Right now it's pure lust. Im not in love with him nor do i feel that if we hooked up it would become that, I was jealous simply because I told the other dude that I really wanted to hook up with him and was attracted to him and then he goes and blows him. Not jealous because I feel like he's "mine" or that he should be "with me instead of that dude." I just kind of want to punch the other dude in the face.
About the talk: Im not sure that's for me? I'd love to just be frank, but it's hard for me to confront anyone about anything especially when its about sex. I was raised not talking about sex, so it's wierd talking about it, though we have talked about it before..in depth.
I know there are plenty of gay dudes, it doesn't "have" to be him, but i am attracted to him right now. Like i said, Im 19 and don't go to gay clubs or bars or shit (it's not my scene even if I could) so I don't really meet very many guys willing.


Thanks for all the comments. They're GREATLY appreciated. Hopefully things will evolve, i'll you guys posted. :D
 
If all you're looking for is a fuck, and you're sure this won't impact your friendship - well, the hottest thing on the planet is confidence, if you're confident, you don't even have to be extremely hot. Confident guys get laid.

Confidence requires practice. If you never take the chance, you never get the prize.

Considering the above post, screw the "conversation." I can't think of anything less sexy than some guy wanting to have a serious discussion about how much he wants my cock.

Some hot guy making a move however, is another horse entirely.

If you don't plan on doing anything but lust from a distance, we can't help you. Get off your ass and do something about it.
 
G-Lexington said:
I'll be the dissenter. Ask him (aloofly, if you wish), "Hey, if we're both bi-curious and horny all the time, how come we've never don anything together?" Then make with the hot bi-curious monkey sex.

Lex
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This advice seems good. It will save you if he does not take to the idea of messing around. I assume you want to keep the friendship regardless.
 
>>>Hopefully things will evolve...

They won't. Not on their own. You've apparently been sitting around waiting for something to happen for awhile now, and nothing has. That's unlikely to change unless you get proactive.

Don't be misled by how people talk. They'll say "I ended up having sex with my roommate/best friend/neighbor", which implies fate handled everything for them. Sorry to be unromantic, but they "ended up" having sex because one of them made some active moves to get things going. Even in romantic novels (and porn, for that matter), someone's gotta say something first. Someone's gotta lean in for the kiss first. And someone's gotta reach for the zipper first.

If you want something to happen, you have to make it happen. So do it. But I'd suggest talking rather than reaching for the zipper. This isn't porn. :)

Lex
 
txbeau: confidence. awesome, i'll definitely try that. hopefull it'll be hot enough for him too, lol.

grantt: I think it's an awesome idea too; i do want to preserve the friendship, that, above all is the most important thing i want to take from it.

lex: I haven't been sitting around, we've slept in the same bed and cuddled and shit but it's always come to a certain point and then just become playing around. I think you're right, it's not going to become anything if nothing is attempted. Im just scared shitless of rejection---it's bullshit, i know. Thanks for all your advice, it's been wonderful. Oh, and lex was my favorite character too.
 
Oh. And if you value your platonic friendship with him, than leave the idea alone.
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To which you replied:

I do value our platonic relationship, probably more than just a random hook-up so im guessing i should just leave it alone?
Click to expand...

I can guarantee that unless you can both agree just to be fuck-buddies, it will end in tears because one of you is going to fall in love and the other one won't.
 
xdudex123 said:
So one of my friends has plenty of hardcore bi-tendencies and has been blown by a dude before. He knows i've messed around with a guy before and we both flirt alot. My issue? I want to mess around with him sooo fucking badly, and Im jealous of the lucky asshole of the dude that blew him and that it could possibly happen again with that guy--he also has a really flirtatious personality so it makes it hard to read "signals". Idk, im really confused, this seems like an easy enough situation; he's bi-curious.. im bi-curious, we both find each other attractive, and we're both very horny. Sexuality is pretty much unspoken because we both just kind of have sexual urges and shit and know that we just find everyone hot, but i guess i have sexual tension toward him i'm not sure if he does back. Im confused. Should I bring it up? Should i just let it go? I don't want to be "that" guy that says, "if you ever want to hook up, im here..." Advice would be awesome. :help:
Click to expand...

dude if you want him so fucking badly THEN you're going to have to take the risk and initiate even if it means hearing him say he's not into you like that. not fun putting yourself thru the coulda woulda shoulda mindfuck so don't allow your ego to do that to you. good luck dude!
 
Yes grab him and kiss him don't waste you breath with all that talking ish, if he's respetive then you're in the clear, if not then you pretty mutch got your answer. He can't complain because he's been sending mixed signals and how were you to know he didn't want it?
 
theplayerking said:
Are you looking for a relationship or just to fool around? If he's embarrassed or unsure about his sexuality it's probably easier for him to experiment with someone who's not a close friend.

Also, you can't change what he wants, but he might not know/understand what you want. You could try being a little more overt about your experiences/curiosity.
Click to expand...

Ive found best firends work the best.. my best friend who is str8 messed around twice and it has never been weird or anything. he actually was really good at sucking dick and i think he enojyed it a lil too much
 
hey guys thought I'd update so u don't think I forgot about it.

my friend and I kept flirting for a while and got more touchy (we'd hug and I'd get so hard, I'd rub his back and when hed sleep over we'd cuddle and I'd rub his head and chest and beautifully muscular arms. hed cuddle and sometimes I'd feel his hard on when he was asleep.
One night after playing basketball outside we each showered separately and then watched a movie on his small bed. the next morning when I woke my head was on his chest and his arm was around me. my arm was on his lower stomach and his shirt was pulled up a little. he had really smooth lower abs, well I lowered my arm a little onto his morning wood. I layed there for a while falling back asleep and then his hard cock started pulsing really hard. it made my arm jump.

the very last time I saw him we talked a while about random shit for hours then fell asleep. during the night I felt his hardon again when spooning. I felt his whole body up and at one point we were laying faces toward each other and got close and he put his hand on my ass. we woke up and went about our day.

too bad I find him incrediibly annoying now.

I'd still blow him
 
Well, now that you don't care about your friendship, stop being such a cocktease and just blow the guy already.
 
Aw! That you two are so close is incredibly adorable and, really, if you want to blow him I don't think it would weird him out if he's willing to be that physically close with you already. Why not bring up the subject of blowjobs - it doesn't have to be in the context of you wanting to blow him, but it could lead to that.
 
>>>too bad I find him incrediibly annoying now.

Not sure where this came from. But if it's the case, you really have nothing to lose at this point. Make with the hot monkey sex already. Unless you enjoy the "tee-hee, will something happen, lol, idk".

Lex
 
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