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A bit confused about someone.

B

bluebrad

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Probably about a month ago, I was in class with my friend. We've been friends for about 2-3 years. We were just having normal talk, then it turned into joking about "wanting penis all over me." I told him "yeah.. sure do" quite casually. He didn't know I was gay; he then asked me if I was actually gay. I told him yes. All he did was say "oh" and moved on to talk about normal stuff again.. just like it never happened.

Ever since then I've noticed that he's been quite more "friendly" to me. He started talking to me a lot more. Our relationship has just been growing ever since I told him. He really compliments me quite a bit more and sort of acts like we're in a relationship or something. That's how I take it anyway. One of my best (girl)friends was in the class with me and asked him if "we were gay for each other now." That's how nice he was acting toward me. He ignored her.

Today, he told me I was hot (jokingly). I was unsure how to really reply.. so I said "thanks, I try." Not being arrogant or anything, just being my regular joking self. At this point, I want to ask him to hang out outside of school. So, I texted him and started a convo. I ended up saying "if you're not busy today and wanna hang out, lemme know".. but I never heard back from him. So I let it go..

To add a bit more, he has a long-distance girlfriend in Maine. He visits her 3-4 times a year. Mind you, we live in Virginia. So I guess what I'm asking here is - is he trying to say something to me? Is he even at least curious or just screwing with my brain? What should I tell him? I want to get all over him, but I'm not about to ruin a friendship over my personal indulgences. What do I doooo?
 
Yes, he's gay.
Yes, he wants you.
No question.

What should you do? Do NOT ask him if he's gay. You've given him the opening, and he chose not to take it. That means he's going to continue being "straight" for the world, and for you. That's annoying, because it'll mean more work for you. But it doesn't change anything - he's gay, and he's interested.

Keep working on meeting up with him outside of class. You'll probably have to set something up DURING class, or at the end of class. Ask if he wants to do something this weekend, or grab a coffee after class, or what have you. Don't hit on him (other than perhaps in response to one of his compliments about you), and don't blatantly try to push him into the bedroom. But keep nudging him there. It shouldn't take long. :)

Lex
 
A few years ago, I knew a guy who was an incredible chameleon. Put him in a room with a room with girls and he'd be talking about shopping and clothing. Put him in a room with jocks and he'd be talking sports. Put him in a room with gay guys and he'd be talking about arts, entertainment and fashion. Put him in a room with anyone and he'd find a way to relate to them.

As far as I know, he wasn't a girl, a jock or a gay guy. He was just very good at finding ways to relate to different people.

So, if this guy says he has a long-distance girlfriend and he didn't take you up on your offer to do something away from school, then accept that for what it is- a polite refusal.
 
Be careful.

Sometimes people flirt just to gain control of the situation. Get somebody to fall for you and you have them. It provides a sense of security and validation, even if you have no intentions of going further in the relationship.

Sucks for the person on the other end though. Make sure you don't end up that person.
 
Thanks for the input, guys. I think I'll just not get anymore involved than I already am. Funny thing is I was never interested in him until he started all of this.

By the way, Lex - you are one of a kind. You make life sound too easy!
 
I agree with Kara about the chameleon thing. I've watched guys do this many times.

I think he's a waste of your time as bf material.

He really compliments me quite a bit more and sort of acts like we're in a relationship or something. That's how I take it anyway.
Click to expand...

You see, there's the rub. You want it to be, so it appears to be.

If he starts to ask you to hang out with him and wants to become your bff, then see where that goes.

But it appears to me that it isn't in the cards.
 
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