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A chuckle for all those on a diet

  • Thread starter Thread starter Endlight
  • Start date Start date
E

Endlight

Guest
Including moi.

Enjoy folks;

J/K-Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore!!!

(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)
 
I have to remember this one. Great story! :lol:
 
I was expected you to throw in a "Here's Your Sign"

Thank God you didn't...
 
Thanks guys. Glad I made you laugh. Of course I pissed myself when I heard it too.

Funny how, when I hear good ones, I immediately thing of JUB and wanting to post it.

Guess that's a tribute to all the JUBers who made me spill my coffee; Ben 46, Rational Lunacy, Gareth, Lex, to name just a few.

Another good reason for this Site

Carry on!

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