Quality Street
On the Prowl
Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
Thanks Craiger
Thanks Craiger
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A Compilation of a British Twenty-something's Experiences- *All True*
- Thread starter Quality Street
- Start date
Quality Street
On the Prowl
Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
Number 5- Jamie
This is slightly different to the previous segments and will be much shorter as in fact, it has not actually happened yet.
Way back when I was in primary school, around 10 years old, I moved school due to bullying and other things, and at this new school I found Jamie. I spent my last 2 years of primary school there and we came amazingly good friends and we still are till this day.
Anyway, after primary, we both went to different secondaries and from there, we went to different universities. Ofcourse, we were unable to speak to each other as much as we had done in primary but we still spoke a fair amount on facebook/MSN etc and occasionally went round eachother's houses to play games or socialise.
When we were both 18, other things started to happen. One night I crashed at his house. In the dead of the night, we were both saying things like 'Im bored' and 'I dont know what to do' etc. Eventually, this resulted in a game where we agreed to do 'some funny crazy stuff.' This involved a few different things, doing them as we came up with ideas. First, we decided to take turns hanging from the climbing frame in my garden whilst the other kicked footballs at them for a laugh. A bit later, we decided to swap clothes with eachother (not boxers,) which was pretty funny as he's a little shorter and slimmer than me so you can imagine the outcomes. Anyway, after a few other little games, we both laid down and asked what we could do next. After lots of time, one of us, I honestly can't remember which, said, 'what about a handjob?' I remember offering to give him one first, because I didn't want the pressure of revealing my penis first. He said ok, leaned back, undid his zipper and said 'ok.'I sneaked over closer to him but didn't touch him. Bare in mind that this initial experience was slightly before Number 1 in this compilation, consider this a flash-back... Anyway, I couldn't go any closer. It just didn't feel right. Admittedly, I had always thought he was a hot guy, a little bit different. I wouldn't say he's an Emo, but he does wear skinny jeans and slim t-shirts, which I found hot (yes, yes, shoot me.) In the end, we both agreed that it was too weird, laughed it off, and played some Mario.
A few months later, after Number 2 but before Number 3, during one of our MSN conversations we were joking together and he said something at my expense. I teased 'oh tut tut, no sexual favours for you then mister!' He initially put something like 'lol' but then ended up saying things like, 'aww not even a blowjob?' and 'you could come over during the holidays.' Before I knew it, we were planning when I should go to his house and give/receive blowjobs. I got a hard-on instantly, however, this would disappear just moments later. After we'd agreed what we'd do, (I knock on his door, we go straight into it without talking to avoid awkwardness etc) he messaged me apologising and saying he couldn't do it. He had a girlfriend at the time and still does. I was disappointed but understood completely.
More time passed and he dropped into another one of his conversations that he was bi. I'd kind of figured as much to be honest. He always came across as a bit wild and up for anything.
Once again, even more time passed and now it was after Number 4 in the compilation, only very recently actually. It was another MSN conversation. We were talking about how we were both getting on, what our uni courses were like and so on, a few minutes passed without either of us saying anything. The computer beeped, I checked the screen and he had typed, 'fancy a blowjob during xmas holidays?' Hard-on. I couldn't believe how out of the blue it was. Since the last time it had been proposed, we hadn't spoken of it or tried setting it up again. I asked about his girlfriend and he said that she knew he was bi and didn't mind him fooling about with a friend. He said that he needed to practice his 'bi side' a bit more, and I agreed to help out, He had previously told me of his 8' cock and so I warned him that I wasn't quite as 'gifted' as that. He also admitted to having never done anything with another guy. 'How do you know you're bi then?' I asked. 'How do you know you'll like giving me a blowjob?' Jamie replied, 'I can just imagine having a massive cock in my mouth and it's such a turn-on...'
As I'm sure you are aware, the xmas holidays are approaching within the next couple of weeks so ofcourse I will post here if/when that happens and let you know how it went down. I also might as well tell you that deep down, I'm really hoping he enjoys it, and a part of me is hopefuly that his girlfriend and him will suggest a threesome with me. They're both pretty wild characters and if she's ok with him getting blowjobs off of me, who knows, but that would be for another time!
---
Next segment will be my conclusion/identity part and after that, I'm afraid we're completely up to date. Thanks for reading, and as always, I'd greatly appreciate any comments
Number 5- Jamie
This is slightly different to the previous segments and will be much shorter as in fact, it has not actually happened yet.
Way back when I was in primary school, around 10 years old, I moved school due to bullying and other things, and at this new school I found Jamie. I spent my last 2 years of primary school there and we came amazingly good friends and we still are till this day.
Anyway, after primary, we both went to different secondaries and from there, we went to different universities. Ofcourse, we were unable to speak to each other as much as we had done in primary but we still spoke a fair amount on facebook/MSN etc and occasionally went round eachother's houses to play games or socialise.
When we were both 18, other things started to happen. One night I crashed at his house. In the dead of the night, we were both saying things like 'Im bored' and 'I dont know what to do' etc. Eventually, this resulted in a game where we agreed to do 'some funny crazy stuff.' This involved a few different things, doing them as we came up with ideas. First, we decided to take turns hanging from the climbing frame in my garden whilst the other kicked footballs at them for a laugh. A bit later, we decided to swap clothes with eachother (not boxers,) which was pretty funny as he's a little shorter and slimmer than me so you can imagine the outcomes. Anyway, after a few other little games, we both laid down and asked what we could do next. After lots of time, one of us, I honestly can't remember which, said, 'what about a handjob?' I remember offering to give him one first, because I didn't want the pressure of revealing my penis first. He said ok, leaned back, undid his zipper and said 'ok.'I sneaked over closer to him but didn't touch him. Bare in mind that this initial experience was slightly before Number 1 in this compilation, consider this a flash-back... Anyway, I couldn't go any closer. It just didn't feel right. Admittedly, I had always thought he was a hot guy, a little bit different. I wouldn't say he's an Emo, but he does wear skinny jeans and slim t-shirts, which I found hot (yes, yes, shoot me.) In the end, we both agreed that it was too weird, laughed it off, and played some Mario.
A few months later, after Number 2 but before Number 3, during one of our MSN conversations we were joking together and he said something at my expense. I teased 'oh tut tut, no sexual favours for you then mister!' He initially put something like 'lol' but then ended up saying things like, 'aww not even a blowjob?' and 'you could come over during the holidays.' Before I knew it, we were planning when I should go to his house and give/receive blowjobs. I got a hard-on instantly, however, this would disappear just moments later. After we'd agreed what we'd do, (I knock on his door, we go straight into it without talking to avoid awkwardness etc) he messaged me apologising and saying he couldn't do it. He had a girlfriend at the time and still does. I was disappointed but understood completely.
More time passed and he dropped into another one of his conversations that he was bi. I'd kind of figured as much to be honest. He always came across as a bit wild and up for anything.
Once again, even more time passed and now it was after Number 4 in the compilation, only very recently actually. It was another MSN conversation. We were talking about how we were both getting on, what our uni courses were like and so on, a few minutes passed without either of us saying anything. The computer beeped, I checked the screen and he had typed, 'fancy a blowjob during xmas holidays?' Hard-on. I couldn't believe how out of the blue it was. Since the last time it had been proposed, we hadn't spoken of it or tried setting it up again. I asked about his girlfriend and he said that she knew he was bi and didn't mind him fooling about with a friend. He said that he needed to practice his 'bi side' a bit more, and I agreed to help out, He had previously told me of his 8' cock and so I warned him that I wasn't quite as 'gifted' as that. He also admitted to having never done anything with another guy. 'How do you know you're bi then?' I asked. 'How do you know you'll like giving me a blowjob?' Jamie replied, 'I can just imagine having a massive cock in my mouth and it's such a turn-on...'
As I'm sure you are aware, the xmas holidays are approaching within the next couple of weeks so ofcourse I will post here if/when that happens and let you know how it went down. I also might as well tell you that deep down, I'm really hoping he enjoys it, and a part of me is hopefuly that his girlfriend and him will suggest a threesome with me. They're both pretty wild characters and if she's ok with him getting blowjobs off of me, who knows, but that would be for another time!
---
Next segment will be my conclusion/identity part and after that, I'm afraid we're completely up to date. Thanks for reading, and as always, I'd greatly appreciate any comments
Quality Street
On the Prowl
Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
As per usual, lots of readers with limited comments haha. Don't be shy!
As per usual, lots of readers with limited comments haha. Don't be shy!
Craiger
JUB Addict
Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
lol! You hardly give us time to respond..... You realize we have to absorb and process (actually a little more than process) before we can answer. I, for one, think you are going to have a really hot Xmas season. All sorts of trinkets to unwrap... Keep coming with the updates.
Craiger
lol! You hardly give us time to respond..... You realize we have to absorb and process (actually a little more than process) before we can answer. I, for one, think you are going to have a really hot Xmas season. All sorts of trinkets to unwrap... Keep coming with the updates.
Craiger
Quality Street
On the Prowl
Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
I guess I'm an impatient person
I am still unsure about Jamie in the xmas holidays though. I don't know if it's something that i'll really want and enjoy because we're been friends for about 10 years now. I wouldn't want to put that in jeopardy at all.
I guess I'm an impatient person
I am still unsure about Jamie in the xmas holidays though. I don't know if it's something that i'll really want and enjoy because we're been friends for about 10 years now. I wouldn't want to put that in jeopardy at all.
Craiger
JUB Addict
Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
Well, QS, this is where your instincts must take hold. If you are worried about ruining a long time friendship, or that he may have regrets afterward, it may be best to forgo the temptation. However, you could also talk to him about your fears and concerns. Whatever happens must be a mutually agreed upon decision. If it seems right to you then just relax and let nature take it's course. The main thing now is to let it go and not over analyze the situation. That could ruin your entire holiday. Best of luck in whatever you choose to do.
Craiger
Well, QS, this is where your instincts must take hold. If you are worried about ruining a long time friendship, or that he may have regrets afterward, it may be best to forgo the temptation. However, you could also talk to him about your fears and concerns. Whatever happens must be a mutually agreed upon decision. If it seems right to you then just relax and let nature take it's course. The main thing now is to let it go and not over analyze the situation. That could ruin your entire holiday. Best of luck in whatever you choose to do.
Craiger
Quality Street
On the Prowl
Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
Good point. It the last convo, he did mention a couple of times like if I feel I want to back out of it, then it's no problem. I think he's just looking at it as a bit of fun, and a way of getting his first experience. For me, i'm more concerned it'll end badly... I'm sure it'll probably still go ahead (and when it does, expect a new post!) but I'm just hopeful it won't ruin anything.
Also, having looked at these parts of my story etc, I'm starting to realise I'm coming across as a complete slut. I pretty much just get with anyone who seems like they could be gay/bi and may be interested. It's like, in my head, 'oh wow you actually like me?... let's get it on' haha. It's not really nice to read back.
Good point. It the last convo, he did mention a couple of times like if I feel I want to back out of it, then it's no problem. I think he's just looking at it as a bit of fun, and a way of getting his first experience. For me, i'm more concerned it'll end badly... I'm sure it'll probably still go ahead (and when it does, expect a new post!) but I'm just hopeful it won't ruin anything.
Also, having looked at these parts of my story etc, I'm starting to realise I'm coming across as a complete slut. I pretty much just get with anyone who seems like they could be gay/bi and may be interested. It's like, in my head, 'oh wow you actually like me?... let's get it on' haha. It's not really nice to read back.
Craiger
JUB Addict
Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
Hey QS,
Don't be so hard on yourself. You are no more a "slut" than any other young person your age. Youth is for gaining experience and, to me, that's all it sounds like. Now, when you're closer to thirty and still making it with any Tom, Dick or Harry, that's being slutty...lol Seriously, go out there and have fun while gaining that experience. You won't regret it....................
Craiger
Hey QS,
Don't be so hard on yourself. You are no more a "slut" than any other young person your age. Youth is for gaining experience and, to me, that's all it sounds like. Now, when you're closer to thirty and still making it with any Tom, Dick or Harry, that's being slutty...lol Seriously, go out there and have fun while gaining that experience. You won't regret it....................
Craiger
BiMike
JUB Addict
- Joined
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Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
I have only just now found your 'hot' posting ! I scan this Forum fairly regularly looking for posters I know ! Your story is great being true life, most stories are guy's hot fantasies ! I have found your story really great , being a Brit I can relate to quite a lot of your initial experiences but unlike you have not been been bold enough to pursue them ! You are not slutty you are f....g hot stuff lol. Cannot wait to hear how your Christmas visit turns out! Hope you get the threesome of your dreams but being Bi I am not sure if your friends gf will oblige! I wish you luck, but a much delayed BJ will be nice
You complain that you have not had many posters, the problem is you have spoilt us readers by posting so frequently , most story tellers just post once a week , some just once a month! However many thanks for your stories, the sad thing is they will soon be up to date ! Perhaps you could then start posting your fantasies
I have only just now found your 'hot' posting ! I scan this Forum fairly regularly looking for posters I know ! Your story is great being true life, most stories are guy's hot fantasies ! I have found your story really great , being a Brit I can relate to quite a lot of your initial experiences but unlike you have not been been bold enough to pursue them ! You are not slutty you are f....g hot stuff lol. Cannot wait to hear how your Christmas visit turns out! Hope you get the threesome of your dreams but being Bi I am not sure if your friends gf will oblige! I wish you luck, but a much delayed BJ will be nice
You complain that you have not had many posters, the problem is you have spoilt us readers by posting so frequently , most story tellers just post once a week , some just once a month! However many thanks for your stories, the sad thing is they will soon be up to date ! Perhaps you could then start posting your fantasies
Quality Street
On the Prowl
Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
Hi Mike, thanks for reading. As soon as anything happens over xmas it'll be posted here so keep an eye out Also, I really can see a 3some happening at some point. Like I mentioned, they're both quite out-there and wild people. I think he's even mentioned to me before that she's got off with girls in the past. It may be unlikely, but there is hope!
I didn't mean to post so frequently, I just wanted to keep the interest there. I thought people may get bored waiting etc so tried to keep them coming at a reasonable rate. I'll get round to posting the identity part within the next few days, but that's not exactly a sexy post, it's mainly just to help me figure myself out a but.
Hi Mike, thanks for reading. As soon as anything happens over xmas it'll be posted here so keep an eye out
Also, I really can see a 3some happening at some point. Like I mentioned, they're both quite out-there and wild people. I think he's even mentioned to me before that she's got off with girls in the past. It may be unlikely, but there is hope!I didn't mean to post so frequently, I just wanted to keep the interest there. I thought people may get bored waiting etc so tried to keep them coming at a reasonable rate. I'll get round to posting the identity part within the next few days, but that's not exactly a sexy post, it's mainly just to help me figure myself out a but.
Craiger
JUB Addict
Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
Hey QS,
Not all postings have to be about some erotic tryst. You have made this thread all about your real life experiences and so knowing more about you and your search for identity will be extremely interesting. As BiMike stated, the majority of stories are fantasy. It's always exciting to read about true adventures. Well written besides....
Craiger
Hey QS,
Not all postings have to be about some erotic tryst. You have made this thread all about your real life experiences and so knowing more about you and your search for identity will be extremely interesting. As BiMike stated, the majority of stories are fantasy. It's always exciting to read about true adventures. Well written besides....
Craiger
Quality Street
On the Prowl
Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
Number 6- Me
So, it's come to this. This short segment is just a little bit about me and questioning who I am, asking some questions etc. So, here goes.
I know when people come out, you often hear them say 'oh I always knew since I was a little boy/girl' and some people might think that's a bit cliche or wonder how you could possible know something like that at such a young age. However, honestly, I always felt that I was different.
It goes right back to primary school between the ages of 8-12. Right from the offset, the other boys in the class seemed a lot more 'lad-ish' than I was. They'd spend a lot of their time talking about football/soccer, they'd pick on people in the younger years and they'd often come out with crude jokes and pranks. I was never like this and it seemed like I was in the extreme minority in that school. I found myself hanging out, almost exclusively, with the girls. They gave me exactly what Iwanted from friendships.These girls were friendly, we'd play nice games with eachother and we'd often go around eachother's houses and play games. I was happiest when I was with them. This affiliation with girls and rejection of fellow boys (a couple with exception) did not go un-noticed. I was encouraged by teachers to spend more time with the other boys in my class, when unbeknowest to them, I was actually being teased and bullied by these other boys I was supposed to make friends with. Believe it or not, I often took refuge in writing poetry, taking part in drama and singing, which as you would guess didn't exactly help me. I had approahced our music teacher and performed for her to see if she would give me any feedback. In response, she insisted that I perform in assembly the next day. I did this, the school broke into laughter about halfway through and I ended up crying in front of hundreds of students. Within 1-2 months later I switched school due to the teasing. I knew I didn't belong here. Did I belong anywhere? Would anyone accept me?
The school I moved to was perfect. My perception of other boys was flawed it seemed. The boys here were friendly and we clicked straight away. I still felt different from the others, but more accepted for who I am. I performed in a main part in the musical at the end of school before moving to secondary, and instead of getting abused, I was celebrated, congratulated and appreciated. In fact, it was in this school that I met number 5 in my compilation and we were best friends.
Secondary school was a mixed bag. The school was all boys so there was no way for me escaping to the girls. I made a large group of core friends who I am very close to this day (which includes a couple of numbers from my compilation, too.) There was ofcourse a few problems. For the majority of my seven year stint here I was teased for being a homo, was called gay, certain individuals flicked their wrists at me as well as calling my name at me with a very camp voice. I know some of these things seem just like typical boys teasing each other but the accumulation of insults did get me down from time to time.
I could never really understand what it was about me that made some people think I was gay or bisexual. I knew inside my head that something was there, but didn't know what it was that gave me away. I started to get quite self-conscious about myself which has now contributed to me having social anxiety disorder. I've always hated my voice, a part of me felt I had a slight gay twang, if there is such a thing. Another thing I over-analysed was my walk. When walking in the playground or to lessons, I'd sweat with fear incase someone point and laughed at me for being gay, and went out of my way to walk as 'straight' as possible. There were numerous other things I was insecure about but to be completely honest, I don't think there is just any one thing. I've always been quite a sensitive guy, and like to look after myself, which these days seems to make you automatically gay ofcourse.
Obviously, if you are reading this, I am guessing you have read the rest of my compilation so far. Where I have failed to go into detail is my experiences with women. To date, at the age of 20, I have only had one girlfriend. We were only together a few months but unfortunately we did not get past the kissing/hugging/holding stage. A huge part of me wishes that we had done more so I could be sure of who I was. To this day, I would still like to have sex with a woman. This is not just because I think I should, but a part of me is actually attracted to women also. This is something that hopefully I can achieve in the near-future.
As for long-term relationships, I have never been in a relationship with a boy apart from a one off physical. Hand to heart, I can never see myself being in a long-term relationship with a guy. Ever. I know it's bad and I know some of you may be angry reading this, but I would just feel so disappointed and unfulfilled with myself. I know you could say 'but what if you meet the ONE and he happens to be a guy?' but in my head, that just can't happen. Since the age of about 18, I've wanted a kid of my own. I do not have any younger siblings and out of all my cousins I am the youngest. It feels like there is a massive hole in my life that is begging for me to look after someone and to be somebody's role model. I do not want to get into a full-blown argument or anything, but at this moment in time, I'm about 60-40 against homosexual couples adopting children. I know there are plenty of positives about gay guys/girls raising children, but I can't help the little voice in my head telling me that I disagree with it. So, in my mind, the only way I will be able to have a family, is to have a wife and kids. Before you yell 'you're in denial, you're refusing to be gay because you want kids,' I repeat that I am also attracted to girls. In 15-20 years time, I completely hope and believe that I will be married with either a child already or one on the way.
Going on to short-term relationships. As you can see, the majority of my one night stands have been guys as opposed to girls. These have pretty much all been drunken nights with friends and it just felt like the right thing to do at the time. For the kind of nights out I have, ending up with a guy instead of a girl is much more likely. For some reason, I feel messing about and fooling around with a guy is something normal and just something to do. I don't really relate it to love/feelings/relationships at my age. However, I am much more picky with girls and I think when I do finally have sex with a girl, it will be very meaningful and probably within a serious relationship.
So what am I? I call myself bisexual at the moment. I am sure that Number 5 will not be my last experience with a guy, in fact, there may even be a number 7 coming up over the christmas holiday. I do feel that if/when I do finally settle down with a woman, I will be able to go without my sexual contact with guys. Every time after each of my male sexual experience, I have felt disgusted with myself, guilty and ashamed. Sure, I do get a little buzz for a short while, but I do end up with the aforementioned self-dread. A huge part of me is depressed with who I am. I don;t think I could live with being called or labelled 'gay.' I prefer to just be in the middle and enjoy life. Even after the experience with Number 4, on the way home I pased a guy who set off my gaydar, I checked him out and immediately felt repulsed, almost to the point of vomit. At times I just feel disgusted with who I am and wish I was straight with none of these relaxed views to sex with guys. Sure, I may be in denial about the whole thing, but as far as I can see it, I am still young. These years are for me to find out who I am and above all, enjoy myself.
Q.S.
---
Sorry, that wasn't really a well constructed piece. I just decided to type as I thought because I felt that would be the best method of getting exactly how I feel straight down onto paper. I'm now expecting to get called out for my views on gay adoption and about maybe being in denial etc, but whatever. I'm hoping I haven't offended anyone.
Number 6- Me
So, it's come to this. This short segment is just a little bit about me and questioning who I am, asking some questions etc. So, here goes.
I know when people come out, you often hear them say 'oh I always knew since I was a little boy/girl' and some people might think that's a bit cliche or wonder how you could possible know something like that at such a young age. However, honestly, I always felt that I was different.
It goes right back to primary school between the ages of 8-12. Right from the offset, the other boys in the class seemed a lot more 'lad-ish' than I was. They'd spend a lot of their time talking about football/soccer, they'd pick on people in the younger years and they'd often come out with crude jokes and pranks. I was never like this and it seemed like I was in the extreme minority in that school. I found myself hanging out, almost exclusively, with the girls. They gave me exactly what Iwanted from friendships.These girls were friendly, we'd play nice games with eachother and we'd often go around eachother's houses and play games. I was happiest when I was with them. This affiliation with girls and rejection of fellow boys (a couple with exception) did not go un-noticed. I was encouraged by teachers to spend more time with the other boys in my class, when unbeknowest to them, I was actually being teased and bullied by these other boys I was supposed to make friends with. Believe it or not, I often took refuge in writing poetry, taking part in drama and singing, which as you would guess didn't exactly help me. I had approahced our music teacher and performed for her to see if she would give me any feedback. In response, she insisted that I perform in assembly the next day. I did this, the school broke into laughter about halfway through and I ended up crying in front of hundreds of students. Within 1-2 months later I switched school due to the teasing. I knew I didn't belong here. Did I belong anywhere? Would anyone accept me?
The school I moved to was perfect. My perception of other boys was flawed it seemed. The boys here were friendly and we clicked straight away. I still felt different from the others, but more accepted for who I am. I performed in a main part in the musical at the end of school before moving to secondary, and instead of getting abused, I was celebrated, congratulated and appreciated. In fact, it was in this school that I met number 5 in my compilation and we were best friends.
Secondary school was a mixed bag. The school was all boys so there was no way for me escaping to the girls. I made a large group of core friends who I am very close to this day (which includes a couple of numbers from my compilation, too.) There was ofcourse a few problems. For the majority of my seven year stint here I was teased for being a homo, was called gay, certain individuals flicked their wrists at me as well as calling my name at me with a very camp voice. I know some of these things seem just like typical boys teasing each other but the accumulation of insults did get me down from time to time.
I could never really understand what it was about me that made some people think I was gay or bisexual. I knew inside my head that something was there, but didn't know what it was that gave me away. I started to get quite self-conscious about myself which has now contributed to me having social anxiety disorder. I've always hated my voice, a part of me felt I had a slight gay twang, if there is such a thing. Another thing I over-analysed was my walk. When walking in the playground or to lessons, I'd sweat with fear incase someone point and laughed at me for being gay, and went out of my way to walk as 'straight' as possible. There were numerous other things I was insecure about but to be completely honest, I don't think there is just any one thing. I've always been quite a sensitive guy, and like to look after myself, which these days seems to make you automatically gay ofcourse.
Obviously, if you are reading this, I am guessing you have read the rest of my compilation so far. Where I have failed to go into detail is my experiences with women. To date, at the age of 20, I have only had one girlfriend. We were only together a few months but unfortunately we did not get past the kissing/hugging/holding stage. A huge part of me wishes that we had done more so I could be sure of who I was. To this day, I would still like to have sex with a woman. This is not just because I think I should, but a part of me is actually attracted to women also. This is something that hopefully I can achieve in the near-future.
As for long-term relationships, I have never been in a relationship with a boy apart from a one off physical. Hand to heart, I can never see myself being in a long-term relationship with a guy. Ever. I know it's bad and I know some of you may be angry reading this, but I would just feel so disappointed and unfulfilled with myself. I know you could say 'but what if you meet the ONE and he happens to be a guy?' but in my head, that just can't happen. Since the age of about 18, I've wanted a kid of my own. I do not have any younger siblings and out of all my cousins I am the youngest. It feels like there is a massive hole in my life that is begging for me to look after someone and to be somebody's role model. I do not want to get into a full-blown argument or anything, but at this moment in time, I'm about 60-40 against homosexual couples adopting children. I know there are plenty of positives about gay guys/girls raising children, but I can't help the little voice in my head telling me that I disagree with it. So, in my mind, the only way I will be able to have a family, is to have a wife and kids. Before you yell 'you're in denial, you're refusing to be gay because you want kids,' I repeat that I am also attracted to girls. In 15-20 years time, I completely hope and believe that I will be married with either a child already or one on the way.
Going on to short-term relationships. As you can see, the majority of my one night stands have been guys as opposed to girls. These have pretty much all been drunken nights with friends and it just felt like the right thing to do at the time. For the kind of nights out I have, ending up with a guy instead of a girl is much more likely. For some reason, I feel messing about and fooling around with a guy is something normal and just something to do. I don't really relate it to love/feelings/relationships at my age. However, I am much more picky with girls and I think when I do finally have sex with a girl, it will be very meaningful and probably within a serious relationship.
So what am I? I call myself bisexual at the moment. I am sure that Number 5 will not be my last experience with a guy, in fact, there may even be a number 7 coming up over the christmas holiday. I do feel that if/when I do finally settle down with a woman, I will be able to go without my sexual contact with guys. Every time after each of my male sexual experience, I have felt disgusted with myself, guilty and ashamed. Sure, I do get a little buzz for a short while, but I do end up with the aforementioned self-dread. A huge part of me is depressed with who I am. I don;t think I could live with being called or labelled 'gay.' I prefer to just be in the middle and enjoy life. Even after the experience with Number 4, on the way home I pased a guy who set off my gaydar, I checked him out and immediately felt repulsed, almost to the point of vomit. At times I just feel disgusted with who I am and wish I was straight with none of these relaxed views to sex with guys. Sure, I may be in denial about the whole thing, but as far as I can see it, I am still young. These years are for me to find out who I am and above all, enjoy myself.
Q.S.
---
Sorry, that wasn't really a well constructed piece. I just decided to type as I thought because I felt that would be the best method of getting exactly how I feel straight down onto paper. I'm now expecting to get called out for my views on gay adoption and about maybe being in denial etc, but whatever. I'm hoping I haven't offended anyone.
Craiger
JUB Addict
Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
First off, QS, if anyone is offended by what you have stated, that is their problem. You have been open and honest about your present feelings and it is not up to us to judge you in any way.
As to your being in denial, again, only time will tell as to which path you may choose. There is nothing wrong in wanting to expand your attractions and hopefully your desire to have sex with a woman will come to pass. I also hope it will fulfill you to the extent you are looking for.
Adopting a child versus procreating your own is an extremely personal choice. There are those that are not able to have children yet desire desperately to raise one. Whether they be heterosexual or homosexual it is possibly the only way they can fulfill their dreams. I know of a gay couple who combined their sperm and impregnated a surrogate woman and now have, not one but two, beautiful little daughters. What matters, in my estimation, is the love and commitment each person has for the other. Again, whether it be gay or straight. But these are my feelings and it does not diminish your ideas in the least. There is no right or wrong, just personal choice.
Much of my first years of school were very similar to yours, however, I did not witness the bullying you did. There were a couple of questionable times in high school, but for the most part I was popular and accepted even though I played no sports. I also hated my voice and was told I walked like I had a stick up my ass...lol, but, like you, I have survived.
You sound like a very intelligent young man and I have no doubts you will find yourself and will look back on the past and realize that all this is a part of growing. When an obstacle is presented, you will find the proper way to bypass it. It may not always be the easiest path, but you will succeed.
Thank you for sharing your intimate feelings with us and know that there are many of us here that will support you and help you in any way we can.
Craiger
First off, QS, if anyone is offended by what you have stated, that is their problem. You have been open and honest about your present feelings and it is not up to us to judge you in any way.
As to your being in denial, again, only time will tell as to which path you may choose. There is nothing wrong in wanting to expand your attractions and hopefully your desire to have sex with a woman will come to pass. I also hope it will fulfill you to the extent you are looking for.
Adopting a child versus procreating your own is an extremely personal choice. There are those that are not able to have children yet desire desperately to raise one. Whether they be heterosexual or homosexual it is possibly the only way they can fulfill their dreams. I know of a gay couple who combined their sperm and impregnated a surrogate woman and now have, not one but two, beautiful little daughters. What matters, in my estimation, is the love and commitment each person has for the other. Again, whether it be gay or straight. But these are my feelings and it does not diminish your ideas in the least. There is no right or wrong, just personal choice.
Much of my first years of school were very similar to yours, however, I did not witness the bullying you did. There were a couple of questionable times in high school, but for the most part I was popular and accepted even though I played no sports. I also hated my voice and was told I walked like I had a stick up my ass...lol, but, like you, I have survived.
You sound like a very intelligent young man and I have no doubts you will find yourself and will look back on the past and realize that all this is a part of growing. When an obstacle is presented, you will find the proper way to bypass it. It may not always be the easiest path, but you will succeed.
Thank you for sharing your intimate feelings with us and know that there are many of us here that will support you and help you in any way we can.
Craiger
Quality Street
On the Prowl
Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
Thank you very much for the response craiger. I do realise now that this forum can be a great place for advice and support. I really enjoyed sharing my personal experiences and I'm sure there will be more to share in the coming months which will ofcourse be posted here.
Once again, cheers C
x
Thank you very much for the response craiger. I do realise now that this forum can be a great place for advice and support. I really enjoyed sharing my personal experiences and I'm sure there will be more to share in the coming months which will ofcourse be posted here.
Once again, cheers C
x
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Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
QS
Craiger has his points of view and I have mine, He and I often differ but
I respect him. In this instance he is totally correct from the view on either
side of the street.
Your thread is titled as such to leave no doubt that you are claiming it as
your personal true story. If people are not prepared for that blunt force
trauma of a true story then they should keep their candy ass fucking long
noses out of the thread.
I recall you asking for advice and support not criticism and censure. What
my opinion or anyone else held was not what you asked for. Advice and its
sister support is not opinion. You follow the confines of the CofC and fuck the
ignorant whiners.
Now that is an OPINION even though you didn't ask for it/
QS
Craiger has his points of view and I have mine, He and I often differ but
I respect him. In this instance he is totally correct from the view on either
side of the street.
Your thread is titled as such to leave no doubt that you are claiming it as
your personal true story. If people are not prepared for that blunt force
trauma of a true story then they should keep their candy ass fucking long
noses out of the thread.
I recall you asking for advice and support not criticism and censure. What
my opinion or anyone else held was not what you asked for. Advice and its
sister support is not opinion. You follow the confines of the CofC and fuck the
ignorant whiners.
Now that is an OPINION even though you didn't ask for it/
Quality Street
On the Prowl
Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
Your posts always confuse me Lefty
Your posts always confuse me Lefty
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Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
Sorry QS. I am a victim of undereducated over learned.
What I said...any mother fucker comes in to a thread that states...
true story,
want advice and or support,
not shit and insult....should pay attention.
The O/P
deserves to not have to hear shit or insult.
if he follows the rule of the Code of Conduct
so should the readers.
I said Craiger and I often disagree but I respect him
and his opinion even if I don't agree and this time we agree.
I said to the buttinsky naysaying holier than thou fucktards
Fuck off....leave to places you do like. And then I said..I was a
bit of a hypocrite because that was my OPINION.
This help.......I'm sorry, plain english can be a second language
for me sometimes lol.
Sorry QS. I am a victim of undereducated over learned.
What I said...any mother fucker comes in to a thread that states...
true story,
want advice and or support,
not shit and insult....should pay attention.
The O/P
deserves to not have to hear shit or insult.
if he follows the rule of the Code of Conduct
so should the readers.
I said Craiger and I often disagree but I respect him
and his opinion even if I don't agree and this time we agree.
I said to the buttinsky naysaying holier than thou fucktards
Fuck off....leave to places you do like. And then I said..I was a
bit of a hypocrite because that was my OPINION.
This help.......I'm sorry, plain english can be a second language
for me sometimes lol.
Quality Street
On the Prowl
Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
Ahh, now I understand, cheers leftyyy
Ahh, now I understand, cheers leftyyy
BiMike
JUB Addict
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Re: A Compilation of a British Twenty-somethging's Experiences- *All True*
Just read your latest posting, Number 6 Me, with interest since quite a bit of your experiences you had at school could have applied to my own experiences. However in my case I seem to have had more luck with the girls than you
I take it you have been following this Thread
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328069
I think it applies to you just as it does to me ! You have to accept that you are Bi ! The problem for us guys is what you do about it! You are much more open about it than I was at your age and I think you are doing OK for now experimenting with your sexual desires without any form of relationship.
As far as your forthcoming session with your friend is concerned providing you enter into it with both of you regarding it as a form of experience with no emotional involvement I think their should be no long term repercusions to your friendship! However if you both enjoy it I am not so sure on the outcome !
Just read your latest posting, Number 6 Me, with interest since quite a bit of your experiences you had at school could have applied to my own experiences. However in my case I seem to have had more luck with the girls than you
I take it you have been following this Thread
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328069
I think it applies to you just as it does to me ! You have to accept that you are Bi ! The problem for us guys is what you do about it! You are much more open about it than I was at your age and I think you are doing OK for now experimenting with your sexual desires without any form of relationship.
As far as your forthcoming session with your friend is concerned providing you enter into it with both of you regarding it as a form of experience with no emotional involvement I think their should be no long term repercusions to your friendship! However if you both enjoy it I am not so sure on the outcome !