Romantico
Porn Star
This is more or less a continuation of RRRalph's post Reagrading Bisexuals and Homosexuals being compatable. I have been reading his post a little at a time and think its a great post! I wanted to share two stories with those who feel us Bisxuals just can't keep it in our pants and are not compatable with gays. Please note, I believe there are only a few who have this biphobic attitude so please, I am not directing this at any one person.
About 7 years ago I was friends with this beautiful gay guy. He was 21 and I was 25. He was really hot and he knew it. He 'got around' and was proud of that. He made an effort to flaunt and brag that he could have any guy he wanted, and he usually did. Its funny that this group I hung with back then thought of me at 25 as an old fart, but they did. Anyway, I really liked this cute gay guy.We had some things in common, but he made me laugh. We'll call him Josh. Well, Josh came out to his family and it wasn't pretty. Him and I spent many nights and days talking.He never had a big brother and thats what I felt like to him. He needed guidance and I gave him advice on alot of things. He even stayed with me off and on because his family and him were fighting 24/7. I remember one night in January or February. It was something like the coldest night of the year. he called me at 2:30 in the morning asking if I would pick him up at the mall. His car battery was dead and he was freezing. I got dressed and picked him up. I brought a thermos of coco and a blanket and when I picked him up he looked bad.I was the 4th person he called and he began opening up to me and he just broke down and cried. I always say it usually takes a crisis to find out who your true friends are.I took him back to my place and we talked a little more.
Well, a few nights later he and I were out with some friends. He was in a good mood and apparently 'horny'. He wanted me to go somewhere with him in private. I told him I wasn't interested in having sex with him. He knew I was bisexual and couldn't figure out what the problem was. Yeah, I was attracted to him but this guy made it a habbit of having casual sex with many of our friends and I liked what we had and didn't want to mess that up. He was confused because he thought I was attracted to both guys and girls. I explained to him that I wasn't interested and it really did something to him. With what he was going through at home and now me rejecting him, it really confused him. Josh later would tell me that he has fallen in love with me. That no one treats him with the respect and actually listens to him. He wanted us to be a couple and I wasn't interested.Not because I wasn't attracted to him but because I didn't care for his casual sexcapades. I would have said that if a woman I knew was the same way.
The point is, we all sleep around. Gay, straight, bisexuals, etc.I think about Josh alot because we lost touch shortly after that I wonder sometimes maybe if I gave him some time or had some patience with him it could have worked out. I just was afraid he would break my heart down the road and at 25, I felt there were other fish in the sea. Maybe I could have been the one thing he neded in his life at that point. Who knows. Forget regret or life is yours to miss, right?
I also have another friend. He's in his late forties and has a new boyfriend whom I don't like so we don't see much of each other. I'll call my friend Mike and his new boyfriend Ron. Well, Ron is in his mid thirties and was married for twelve years and has a nine year old daughter. Anyway, Ron is now gay and shortly after Mike and him began dating, Mike wanted me to meet him. On our first meeting I told Ron I was bisexual and I could tell by the look on his face he somehow was uncomfortable. It was about a 3 weeks later that he and I had it out. He told me what I have heard so many times before. That us bisexuals were fucked up. We couldn't commit or be trusted and that we were so confused. Meanwhile, my friend Mike is just sitting back not saying a word in my defense. Mike has known me for about 15 years and has had no problem with my bisexuality. I took his silence and constant hand holding while I was being scolded by this guy as a sign of support for his new lover Ron.
I then asked Ron calmly, "You, a man who knew he was gay before he got married are judging me? You married out of pressure from the 'straight world' to be accepted and then chose to have a child still knowing you were 100% gay. While married and even before you married you had casual flings with gay men. It was only when you met a man you truly loved and he made you an ultimatum that you divorce your wife and 'come out' did you do so." The hypocrisy is just too mcuh for me. Oh yeah, this man refused to pay child support and continued to live with his ex wife, rent free, until he moved in with his then boyfriend. I am still friends with Mike but told him off right there and then. Only in private did he appologize to me and tell me he didn;t agree with Ron's views. However, I think he has told Ron another story behind my back, trying to please us both. Regardless, him and I are not as close as we once were and I never speak about Ron or ask how he is.
I guess the point to both these stories are both men were gay. Not straight or bisexual but gay. Both were very different people, but both WERE gay. I hold no judgements or prejudices towards homosexuals because of these two stories. I just find it mean spirited and biggoted for gay people to have the SAME attitudes right wing conservative christians do towards us bisexuals. I thought gay people would be the first to recognize discrimination and support us. After all, all the bisexuals I know stand up for gay causes including me. I did my first AIDS walk last year and will get in someone's face if I hear any homophobic language coming from ANYONE. I just have no tolerance towards hate. Its an awful feeling of betrayal to have gay people spit on us and tell us we can't be trusted or that we're gay cowards afraid to come out. I HONESTLY believe that true love does not recognize color, religion, political pursuasion, or gender. A spirit or soul is sexless and thats what I as a bisexual am attracted to in a person. if they happen to be a male or female, then that comes second. I wish gay people would understand that we were born having the same feelings towards both sexes rather than one and its not something you 'snap out of'. Anyway, thats my rant. Flame away!
About 7 years ago I was friends with this beautiful gay guy. He was 21 and I was 25. He was really hot and he knew it. He 'got around' and was proud of that. He made an effort to flaunt and brag that he could have any guy he wanted, and he usually did. Its funny that this group I hung with back then thought of me at 25 as an old fart, but they did. Anyway, I really liked this cute gay guy.We had some things in common, but he made me laugh. We'll call him Josh. Well, Josh came out to his family and it wasn't pretty. Him and I spent many nights and days talking.He never had a big brother and thats what I felt like to him. He needed guidance and I gave him advice on alot of things. He even stayed with me off and on because his family and him were fighting 24/7. I remember one night in January or February. It was something like the coldest night of the year. he called me at 2:30 in the morning asking if I would pick him up at the mall. His car battery was dead and he was freezing. I got dressed and picked him up. I brought a thermos of coco and a blanket and when I picked him up he looked bad.I was the 4th person he called and he began opening up to me and he just broke down and cried. I always say it usually takes a crisis to find out who your true friends are.I took him back to my place and we talked a little more.
Well, a few nights later he and I were out with some friends. He was in a good mood and apparently 'horny'. He wanted me to go somewhere with him in private. I told him I wasn't interested in having sex with him. He knew I was bisexual and couldn't figure out what the problem was. Yeah, I was attracted to him but this guy made it a habbit of having casual sex with many of our friends and I liked what we had and didn't want to mess that up. He was confused because he thought I was attracted to both guys and girls. I explained to him that I wasn't interested and it really did something to him. With what he was going through at home and now me rejecting him, it really confused him. Josh later would tell me that he has fallen in love with me. That no one treats him with the respect and actually listens to him. He wanted us to be a couple and I wasn't interested.Not because I wasn't attracted to him but because I didn't care for his casual sexcapades. I would have said that if a woman I knew was the same way.
The point is, we all sleep around. Gay, straight, bisexuals, etc.I think about Josh alot because we lost touch shortly after that I wonder sometimes maybe if I gave him some time or had some patience with him it could have worked out. I just was afraid he would break my heart down the road and at 25, I felt there were other fish in the sea. Maybe I could have been the one thing he neded in his life at that point. Who knows. Forget regret or life is yours to miss, right?
I also have another friend. He's in his late forties and has a new boyfriend whom I don't like so we don't see much of each other. I'll call my friend Mike and his new boyfriend Ron. Well, Ron is in his mid thirties and was married for twelve years and has a nine year old daughter. Anyway, Ron is now gay and shortly after Mike and him began dating, Mike wanted me to meet him. On our first meeting I told Ron I was bisexual and I could tell by the look on his face he somehow was uncomfortable. It was about a 3 weeks later that he and I had it out. He told me what I have heard so many times before. That us bisexuals were fucked up. We couldn't commit or be trusted and that we were so confused. Meanwhile, my friend Mike is just sitting back not saying a word in my defense. Mike has known me for about 15 years and has had no problem with my bisexuality. I took his silence and constant hand holding while I was being scolded by this guy as a sign of support for his new lover Ron.
I then asked Ron calmly, "You, a man who knew he was gay before he got married are judging me? You married out of pressure from the 'straight world' to be accepted and then chose to have a child still knowing you were 100% gay. While married and even before you married you had casual flings with gay men. It was only when you met a man you truly loved and he made you an ultimatum that you divorce your wife and 'come out' did you do so." The hypocrisy is just too mcuh for me. Oh yeah, this man refused to pay child support and continued to live with his ex wife, rent free, until he moved in with his then boyfriend. I am still friends with Mike but told him off right there and then. Only in private did he appologize to me and tell me he didn;t agree with Ron's views. However, I think he has told Ron another story behind my back, trying to please us both. Regardless, him and I are not as close as we once were and I never speak about Ron or ask how he is.
I guess the point to both these stories are both men were gay. Not straight or bisexual but gay. Both were very different people, but both WERE gay. I hold no judgements or prejudices towards homosexuals because of these two stories. I just find it mean spirited and biggoted for gay people to have the SAME attitudes right wing conservative christians do towards us bisexuals. I thought gay people would be the first to recognize discrimination and support us. After all, all the bisexuals I know stand up for gay causes including me. I did my first AIDS walk last year and will get in someone's face if I hear any homophobic language coming from ANYONE. I just have no tolerance towards hate. Its an awful feeling of betrayal to have gay people spit on us and tell us we can't be trusted or that we're gay cowards afraid to come out. I HONESTLY believe that true love does not recognize color, religion, political pursuasion, or gender. A spirit or soul is sexless and thats what I as a bisexual am attracted to in a person. if they happen to be a male or female, then that comes second. I wish gay people would understand that we were born having the same feelings towards both sexes rather than one and its not something you 'snap out of'. Anyway, thats my rant. Flame away!
