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A Forest. A Cabin.

pat grimshaw said:
The story is OK but indiscriminate use of that word is a marker of illiteracy.
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And you are an expert on literacy? I hesitate to think what your opinion is on the majority of stories in this forum. If you think the aforementioned word is a mark of illiteracy, what about the extreme use of F**k? My opinion is that a writer uses words that may fit the background of his characters and if those words offend you, don't read the story.

Craiger
 
Sh*t denotes excrement/faeces.

What is the point in using that noun to describes things which AREN'T excrement/faeces?
 
Unfortunately our characters in this story are at an age where they can swear and cuss all they like without it necessarily being in context or literally meaning excrement. The word shit is used as a filler, where another word would probably be better suited however not true to how the character would talk.

On another note, this story is set in Australia, where shit is just about the second word in every sentence, which I'm aware is very different to an American use of the word. I'm not about sugar coating their dialogue or changing how we speak to suit a wider audience, and honestly anyone who is offended by it I would encourage not to read this. Though, I find it hard to see how you are offended by it when there have been very clearly and explicitly described sex scenes.

Thanks for your feedback though.
 
I enjoyed the story as it was written.

Maybe as a means to cater for those readers of a delicate disposition you should consider using words such as copulation, ejaculation, erection and any other medically approved terminology rather than Anglo Saxon common place nouns/verbs, etc whether as expletives or otherwise.

Damn! Now I shall be accused of employing sarcasm - the lowest form of wit!
 
Auto,
We would never accuse YOU of such base language use.

Come visit us over at the Lies thread - where "it" really hits the fan in preposterousness.

I, too, had no negative issues with the story. As an avid reader of prose both here and in the NY Times Bestselling Authors lists, I have learned to appreciate the nuances of an area's language, including the colourful - or should I say colorful spelling differences. Crotch is on such word - when Momoman used Crutch, repeatedly, I sent him a PM pointing out the faux pas. He appreciated the feedback, and also gave me some info on it being an accepted Aussie spelling of the word.

Variety is, as they say, the spice of life.
And, the boyz in the hood don't speak with the same vernacular as Kate on her bonnie Leftenant, Prince William. (Or maybe they do, but not near Gandmum, the Queen.)

Just you wait, 'enry 'iggins, just you wait!
The Rain is Spain falls mainly on the plain.

eh, what? lol.
 
junkie said:
…The word sh*t is used as a filler…

…On another note, this story is set in Australia, where shit is just about the second word in every sentence,…
Though, I find it hard to see how you are offended by it when there have been very clearly and explicitly described sex scenes. …
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I reckon it's fine for the word sh*t to be used in explicitly-described sex scenes if they're scatalogical sex scenes.

I'm always offended when my fellow-Australians inappropriately bring excrement into the conversation.
 
Pat,
Are you telling me that the youth of down under don't use slang in their every day parlance?

The great grand sons of the former lower rungs of British Society, for whom it is now a badge of honour to be the spawn of a former penal colony member?

We've already heard from Her Majesty's representative back in the Mother Country and you've heard from those upstart colonists who gave not-so-good King George the finger.

This is a "get real" literary venue, not a grade school primer.

People write and post here for many reasons: entertainment in the writing for them and the reading for us; to pour out their own life circumstances either wrapped as fiction or fact - for us to react and respond to; stress relief from the rigors of school and reaching out to friends the world around, being some large ones.

You need to unbutton the top button collar of your Oxford cloth button down shirt, loosen the tie, grab a beer, spread a little vegamite on your muffin, grill a little 'roo, relax, and enjoy the offerings.

Please don't split hairs. Yes, some authors need help with grammar and spelling - if it looks like they are really trying to do their best, a PM of helpful suggestions is good.

But, criticizing over such a small thing is inappropriate. particularly given that MANY others see the merit in the wording as written.

Literary license is just that - it grants the author the freedom to take the story where and how they see fit.

We invite you to join us in the fun of the story forum. FUN being a key part of the experience.

Peace.
 
Thanks DonQ. You've stated so well what I felt from the beginning. I can't imagine that even Mr. Grimshaw hasn't expressed himself with a few words of low form.

And now Junkie, we are ready for more of your fantastic tale.

Craiger
 
Yes, thanks DQ. That was far more eloquent, diplomatic and to the point than my planned rebuttal. Haha!

Please continue you with your story, junkie.
 
I love this story. Perhaps I would be more correct in saying that I have enjoyed reading this story.*|*
 
great story... very erotic. and btw, i didnt even NOTICE use of the word shit until people started complaining.
 
pat grimshaw said:
I reckon it's fine for the word sh*t to be used in explicitly-described sex scenes if they're scatalogical sex scenes.

I'm always offended when my fellow-Australians inappropriately bring excrement into the conversation.
Click to expand...

My God.

Clutch your pearls girl.

Writers are using shit to describe all kinds of shit, like neat shit, cool shit, life is the shits, i'm gonna fuck the shit outta you, shitstorm, shitfaced, shit eating grins, ahit, shit, shit, shit shit.

Some folks have their assholes clenched so tight, it is a wonder they can shit at all.
 
Oh.

btw.

Use all the naughty language you want.

I don't give a shit.
 
I've read the shit out of this story, and I have to say, it's the shiz! The setting reminds me of a school camp I went on in the Gold Coast hinterland, only mine wasn't nearly as fun.
I look forward to the next installment.
 
pat grimshaw said:
so much unnecessary faeces
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And so much obsessive focussing on fecal matter by one reader, who, one might suspect is a spinster schoolmarm.

As others have suggested, if you don't like what you're reading then stop reading it instead of trying to criticize it from the perspective of your own narrow personal psycho-social hang-ups.

Guys who start to criticize the stories posted here for plot development, language, style etc. really do spoil the efforts of the writers and the enjoyment of the readers.

Perhaps this is not a forum that you should spend much time in unless you would like to post a story of your own.

I would suggest though, that anyone with such an aversion to fecal matter might benefit from some therapeutic counselling to get to the bottom of their hang-up.

Now back to the story.....
 
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