A Gay Paradox

[rajbolt]

I've always found it rather striking that so many in our community (we the gays) are attracted to so broad a number and types of men, and yet there all these categorizations beyond which only a few venture out. You have anything from twinks to daddies and bears, all races and ethnicities, etc. and yet there's this strange insistence on various divisions.


Why exactly? Is this an indication of prevalent social attitudes that have seeped into this subculture and have come to define it as well? Is it an innate attribute of various homosexualities, rather than a reflections of division within a "pan"-homosexuality?


I for one can't describe myself as having a particular preference for one group over another, although I do clearly prefer older men to younger ones. So I know first-hand that such categories can be easily overcome and are certainly not universally applicable. But others insist on them. Why?

 

[gsdx]

This is more of a puzzlement or a conundrum.

I don't see a paradox, nor even a dilemma.

Whichever, this phenomenon isn't unique to the gay community. It occurs throughout the world.

One thing that is unique to the gay community, though, is the fact that 'preference' is often seen as 'racism', as is evidenced by the countless threads about it here. That same phenomenon doesn't seem to exist in the straight community. (i.e. White guys dating only white girls isn't seen as racist. Go figure.)

 

[Shepherd 2]

Sometimes I believe that people who have been subjected to a lot of rejection and prejudice then use it themselves to protect themselves from what they do not understand or fear.

In fact when I first arrived at JUB the meanness was so awful, I left three times to get over the pain I felt by the nasty personal messages and sometimes posts on this site. It was my first experience in any sort of primarily gay community, and I was perplexed by the divisions.

I loathe stereotypes, and the one I experience most these days is being old.
It is hard enough at times aging without having people club you unconscious with their ideas about who you are when they do not know you at all or superficially.

But what I gain from this site makes it worth putting up with some stuff so that I can learn before my life is over the breadth of living a gay lifestyle. Thanks for letting me go on a bit.

Shep+

 

[rajbolt]

I should specify that it is a paradox to me because I seek within the gay community a kind of communality which is, of course, absurd but which I nevertheless desire.

 

[71390S]

Hmmm, I had no idea that all these categories exist. Well I kind of did, but I didn't know it was so complicated. What are "daddies?" Are they like bears? I have lots of reading/researching to do.

 

[71390S]

'doh! Can't believe I didn't work that one out.

 

[giorgiobaby]

I will say that I prefer men, color or race doesn't matter as long as I am personally attracted to them. I am usually not interested in a man under the age of about 34, not saying it hasn't happened.....but usually that is what I am attracted to. I will leave the questions of racism and or other types of discrimination to the others to bellow and argue over.

 

[gsdx]

And bears are big-bellied fat guys, young and old.

I thought 'bears' were hairy older guys and 'cubs' were hairy younger guys.

 

[71390S]

do lesbians have "mommies?"

 

[71390S]

geezus it's just a question! I think it pertains perfectly! *goes to google*

 

[71390S]

And I am not doing ANYTHING on purpose but asking a question *eye roll*

 

[Alpha1851]

Straight people are just as bad about lumping folks together and slapping a common label on them. Where your labels seem to focus on appearance w/ a hint of attitude and personality, our labels focus on social class w/ a hint on political ideology and breeder status.

High school never ends.

 

[71390S]

Dude, chill a bit, okay?



Yes, they do, but funny enough is that they are often also referred to as "daddies." I don't think I've ever heard to referred to as a "mommy" in the dyke world.

thank you. And really now? wow. I love all this sub-culture kind of stuff, it's so interesting.

 

[miketlow]

do lesbians have "mommies?"

No they do not..I just asked one of my lesbian friends.....you made me think "Do they??" so I had to find out....lol...

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Well you know, there are really only two types of gay men: "amateurs" and "professionals." The amateurs prefer only what is in, and that's usually clear to see. The "pros," and some of those are very young, are always a step ahead of the game. They're into all kinds of exotic types that we haven't even much of yet. The "pros" have found the next new thing while others are chasing yesterday's dream.

My prediction is that scary-smart androgynous tech boys will be the superstar sex symbols of the new era. It's already starting to happen here in Toronto.

 

[miketlow]

Well, my lezzie friends have been known to have "daddies."

Sometimes it depends which crowd of dykes you ask.

Yeah I guess so cause my lesbanon friends never heard of it!...lol...

 

[miketlow]

Well you know, there are really only two types of gay men: "amateurs" and "professionals." The amateurs prefer only what is in, and that's usually clear to see. The "pros," and some of those are very young, are always a step ahead of the game. They're into all kinds of exotic types that we haven't even much of yet. The "pros" have found the next new thing while others are chasing yesterday's dream.

My prediction is that scary-smart androgynous tech boys will be the superstar sex symbols of the new era. It's already starting to happen here in Toronto.

Sho nuff right!!!!...lol

 

[teadrinker]

I think it's a basic human trait - we tend to be more comfortable with people "like us" (however we define it), and to deal with the rest we categorize them.

-T.

 

[boxerdudeuk]

i haven't read the whole thread but the easy comparison is straight dudes. there's a ton of different women in the world but blue eyed big titted blondes are bestowed disproportionate attention.

same thing.

 

[RationalLunacy]

A gay paradox: