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A guy is "undecided" whether he likes me or not...what does this mean?

  • Thread starter Thread starter RaKroma
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RaKroma

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I have a crush on a guy whom I met through a mutual friend. We all hanged out together couple of times recently. I asked my friend to be my wing man. So my friend goes to him and asks that guy whether he liked me and that he should ask me out that night. The crush replied that he was "undecided" or also said "maybe." To me that is a way of saying "no, not interested" without being very direct. But my friend says that I shouldn't be discouraged by that especially since that guy is very shy type. How would you interpret this "undecided" reply? To me it's fairly straight forward...I will either like a guy sexually or not especially once I spent some time around them too feel their personality and have enough time to check them out well. I want to add that the crush and I talked a lot and stuff and were very friendly. It was hard to get a vibe from him mostly because of his shy personality.
 
It means he's an undecided voter that Romney and Obama are campaigning so hard for to get his vote in the November election. :lol:
 
Why don't you ask him out?
 
I agree with Seasoned.

Cut to the chase and ask him out. If he says yes, he's interested. If he says no, he's not. It's that easy.

Sending your friend to ask him to ask you out seems a little high school to me. And you say HE is the shy one ???

Grow a pair and take charge! ;) ..|
 
^ What Seasoned said.

I find it really hard to take initiative. And you should believe "undecided" means he's undecided until he says otherwise!

Good luck :)
 
RaKroma said:
The crush replied that he was "undecided" or also said "maybe." To me that is a way of saying "no, not interested" without being very direct.
Click to expand...

You were not direct either. The "crush" probably realized that your friend was being your "wing man" and probably thinks your indirect approach was kind of lame...weak...chicken. Which is not an attractive quality in a potential date/bf.

I agree with the others...Be direct and ask him out yourself. Don't play junior high school games by sending your friend to do your bidding.
 
Count me as agreeing with the rest. Ask him out. You'll have your answer in short order.
 
Yes, I agree that I should be more direct and less shy myself and it's not always easy as much as I want it to be. With some guys it is easy for me to ask them out first and with others I feel more intimidated. I think in this case I was also afraid to potentially lose a friend with whom I share many common interests if I asked him out and he didn't like me that way...that scenario makes it awkward to continue on friendly terms. So I guess I wanted to be "sure" that he found me attractive before I'd make a move. Anyways, I'll be hanging out with the same group again this weekend and he will be there. I'll see how it goes.
 
The shy personality thing can be really annoying/confusing. Right now, I'd just try and get yourself to stop focusing on him, and let him go. Maybe he does like you, maybe he doesn't...but if he isn't sure, then that date you're trying for will be unfulfilling even if you do get it.

Don't you want to be with someone who IS really excited to have a date with you? They're out there - look for them. Maybe in the meantime this guy will come around, and maybe not.
 
What to add that the others haven't said..

Well, the cat is out of the bag now. He knows that you like him, so the whole, "I was afraid to talk to him in case things went wrong" went out the window, baby and all. What you need to do now is talk to him yourself. Ask him out for coffee, go for a walk, go to the mall and go shopping..something. Having a friend act as a middle man isn't going to get you anywhere.

What if someone did that to you? What would you think?

Talk to him yourself.
 
OK I have an update! So this past Friday we were both at a pre-Halloween party that a mutual friend had. We were hanging around each other the whole night, and I felt that he was acting bit different this time. At some point our friend was making fun of us saying how we should just hook up already...making the situation somewhat more awkward. Then, like several minutes before the guy was about to go home, I asked him if he wanted to hangout sometime...and he was like "yes, come to my place." So, ye we ended up at his place and we did hook up. I was completely surprised at how different of a person he is when he is in his comfort zone. Boy was he is surprise in bed too! I guess time will tell what this will turn into, but for now one step at a time. He asked me what my weekends were like...so we might be hanging out soon.
 
Good for you two! Us introverts are weird like that. But good for you for taking the initiative! I hope everything continues to work out!
 
YAY! Congrat's !!!!

You went for it, and got it !

See how easy that is? :)

I'm happy for you!
 
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