The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    To register, turn off your VPN; you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

A Hairy Gnome Companion: Lawn Decorum And Vacuum Tales

Some of us know better than to flaunt what we don't have - or what is there in excess.

Modesty is my catchphrase in summer wear.
I could use a good personal trainer to help pound me back into shape and burn off the excess pounds with aerobic exercise.

I was thinking lots of leg lifts and sit ups, squats, maybe some push ups(or is that downs/ins?)?
:rolleyes:
 
DonQuixote said:
Some of us know better than to flaunt what we don't have - or what is there in excess.

Modesty is my catchphrase in summer wear.
I could use a good personal trainer to help pound me back into shape and burn off the excess pounds with aerobic exercise.

I was thinking lots of leg lifts and sit ups, squats, maybe some push ups(or is that downs/ins?)?
:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
oooo I could be your trainer. We'll get you doing a couple sets of squat thrusts! That would be a good one, and maybe a set of deep deeeep [I mean really deep] knee bends.
:bj:
Then we'll see how much you can "bench";).
 
What is worse Mr Tiny Thong who has so much overspill or a guy like my erstwhile scout master, who was so thin that when he walked down the beach to the sea people gasped and mothers hid their children's eyes so that they should not see such emaciation. We boys would hurriedly leave the scene lest people should think we were associated with the walking dead!
 
^I sense a story title coming on Auto... yes... it's getting clearer!
Aha! I've got it!

Night of The Living Dead Scout Leaders
f1e05c82c7d3af8df68c934bb4ca5f37.gif


Kinda catchy huh?
 
ShihTzuTylenol said:
^I sense a story title coming on Auto... yes... it's getting clearer!
Aha! I've got it!

Night of The Living Dead Scout Leaders
f1e05c82c7d3af8df68c934bb4ca5f37.gif


Kinda catchy huh?
Click to expand...

Yep, just so long as his condition is not catchy, I'm taking a rain check on my final state of emaciation for some decades yet! [D.V.]
 
Straight guys tasting their own cum?
​

What is this world coming to?

It's certainly an egregious topic, and I'd lay wager its a territory most men have explored at one time or another.

It starts with it getting on your fingers.
A few weeks later you graduate to playing in it on your belly, doodling and touching it.
Next thing you know you're lifting it up to your nose--curious about what it smells like.
After a handful [pun intended!] of times doing that the temptation begins to creep in and eventually...
Heat of the moment/tip of the tongue.
:p

It isn't exactly a topic for casual conversation over a beer. I mean, where could that lead? A friendly debate on the culinary attributes of swallowing a load?

_____It's a nice full bodied white cum. A good tone and opacity. Initially, I get a fragrant woodsy tang, but then it gives way to a sprightly stout metallic aftertaste. A very nice wad.
jagoff%5B1%5D.gif


Generally speaking, tasting one's own fluids is a dark, dangerfully naughty subject matter.
:-<But I imagine there's a lot of dudes out there that have a secret semen fetish when the bathroom door gets locked.

Hell--they be up in there looking in the mirror at it rolling around on their tongue, while their poor dick is laying down below spent and exhausted with its head in the sink, all tender and red.



___Like caviar--it's an acquired taste; certainly not something you'll want to put on your Cheerios, or let the girlfriend smell on your breath....:rotflmao:
 
Shih Tzu,
Reminds me of Neil's story "Taking Care of Jason", as Shawn, the ever faithful manservant, goes to great lengths to welcome Jason's new friend to their home - with a game of "where'd he hide the jizz in the breakfast, today", lol.

Now, they don't profess to be straight, I grant you that.
BUT, speaking of serving it on Eggs Benedict, or similar - Hollandaise, schmollandaise.

I'd venture most guys have a fairly good handle on what it smells like - a few hot 'n horny sessions, and a spent rubber or three, although au natural isn't quite as rubbery smelling, to be sure.

Now, if the GF has just given you head and swallowed most of your load, then kissed you, is it OK for her to smell it on your breath?

Or, let's see, you would likely have been getting her vagina properly lubricated/stimulated with your mouth while she was supping on your sausage, so I guess you could swap spit and share/share alike.

Then, wait a few, and harden the ol' pole up again for the main attraction sans rubber and minimal chance of impregnation post head job.
 
The Bony Awards have announced this years nominees.
..|

For Best Supporting Penis In A Motion Porn -
Tip Dribbler __ Indy 5-Hunguns: Pit Crew Training
Holden Wood __ The Cider House Jewels
Louis Finkter __ The Men of Dizzyworld's Epic-Cock Center


For Outstanding Foreskin in a Male Porno -
Pierce McJunkins __ The Viagra Monologues
Tse Shehung Lo __ Lade In China
Rod Cummings __ Penistrator II: Deepends - 3D


For Best Tongue In A Male Feature -
Hugh Jackov __ The Legend Of Peepee Swallow
Phil & Mike Oxmellonbad __ Zeb and Maynard Make A Porno
Harry Balzac __ The Limo Driver Chronicles
 
I don't think I can come close to rivaling your nominees, BUTT, we will give it a try.

Best Garden Scene
Rosey "Bud" Gripper in The Fearsome Forester
Burstin' Old Rectums in The Longest Lay
Harry Heiney in Field of Creams
Redd Foxglove in Digital Is Delightful

(poor in comparison to your masterful ponderances.)
:cool:
 
As art, they're very intriguing.

As their other purpose, with the wings, feet, and such, they might hurt a bit it someone tried to use them, lol.
 
I totally agree, HAHA!

I could be wrong, but I believe the one on the lower right side nearest the name plate has a set of testicles and it's own penis with a bell dangling from it.
I've met a few dicks with a penis, but a penis with a penis? Now that's something you don't see everyday! lol
 
The Adventures of
DOUCHE MAN
___________________________________
Fearlessly fighting Crime In Scrothum City.
______________________________
**********:help:**********
​

The last time we left Douche Man he was in the clutches of The Mime and his evil henchmen hanging by chains from the rafters between the kitchen and living area of The Mime's studio apartment.
****************************

​
"You'll never get away with this you two bit clown!" Douche Man said in a calm voice, wondering just how the hell he was going to escape.

The white faced Mine leaned up from his favorite recliner and started gesturing to his henchmen for them to put a mouth ball gag on our hero. They all looked around at each other rather confused at first until Yippy (The Mine's first lieutenant and high school locker buddy) realized what he wanted them to do.

The Mime sat back in his recliner and rolled his eyes. He was one of the worse mime's they had ever seen but none of them had the stones to tell him--given his track record of killing anyone who challenges his 'art.'

Douche Man saw what they were up to and assured The Mime he would have his revenge.

"When I get free I'm gonna hang your dumb ass upside down and give you a power-enema with Draino you bastard!" Then he tried turning his head to keep the henchmen from putting the gag in. "Fuck you punks! You'll all be sorry when I ge..." [mumbling with mouth-ball spreading his chapped lips open]

The Mime got up and approached the seasoned crime fighter with an evil look in his eye. Taking hold of each side of Douche Man's Spandex tights the villain pulled them down swiftly releasing his shriveled cock to bounce around in the stale air of the sub-let apartment. [more violent mumbling] Everyone started laughing and making fun of the Dynamic Doucho's teeny pecker.

Yippy took a puff from his cigarette and asked his employer, "Want me to burn his dick boss?"

Douche Man's eyes got really big as he froze in fear awaiting The Mime's sinister answer.

The Mime turned and gestured that Douche Man was his and Yippy needed to smoke outside because he hadn't paid a deposit to smoke within the apartment, but they didn't get it and again looked around at each other in confusion hoping someone else could tell what The Mime meant.

Again The Mime gestured, but this time with a dirty look on his face, then he signaled for them all to wait out in Yippy's van while he dealt with the superhero by himself.

Walking out the door the were all speculating what The Mime was trying to say. "I think he was trying to say we get sloppy seconds."

"Yeah, I think you're right. Either that or he wants to have Chinese food again tonight."

"I wanted to burn his dick, that would have been fun."

"You're weird Yippy, that's all you ever want to do with the hostages you sick fuck."

"Careful or I'll burn your peewee dick while you're asleep."

The door closes and their voices become faint and indistinguishable. The Mime and Douche Man are alone as the smell of cheap incense fills the air.

The Mime begins to gesture to our hero what he plans to do to his naked body, but Douche Man has a confused look in his eyes which frustrates The Mime and causes him to repeat his hand signals.

JOIN US NEXT WEEK TO FIND OUT IF DOUCHE MAN FIGURES OUT THE MIME'S GESTURES!
​

Same douche time...
Same douche channel...
 
I toyed with that idea of a sidekick but I didn't want Douche Man to be confused with the Saturday Night Live cartoon heroes called the Ambiguously Gay Duo.
d5f10c9593e3609f1d6d87395596c18d.jpg


Their penises are way bigger than The Enema-ators dick is...
 
The Adventures of
DOUCHE MAN
___________________________________
Fearlessly fighting Crime In Scrothum City.
______________________________
**********:spank:**********
​

Last time we saw Douche Man he hung from chains as his dick bobbed around in the thick atmosphere of The Mime's secret lair, and the silent bastard had sent his men out so he could torture our hero.
****************************

The Mime used a pair of sewing shears to cut Douche Man's Spandex blouse straight up the front exposing the crime fighter's hairy chest and belly. Then pinched his nipple really hard causing DM to squirm and twist.

Then he stepped behind him, knelt down and spread his ass cheeks open so he could stick his tongue in. Douche Man struggled to cut a fart as soon as he felt the wetness on his anus, but only managed to work up a tiny poot. Luckily it was a wet one and stunk so bad The Mime grossed out and ran to the bathroom gagging to drink some mouthwash.

This was the opportunity DM needed for his escape. He pulled himself up enough to spit on the cuffs that held his wrists, and it was just enough lubricant to allow his hands to slip free.

Waiting outside the bathroom door to jump his villainous foe, he could hear The Mime gargling again and again. It was starting to give him an inferiority complex because he knew his flatulent plan didn't stink THAT terribly bad. But this only made Douche Man even more angry.

Unfortunately, standing there in the hall without his silky tights on and his top hinged open so the cool air conditioning made his nipples hard caused Douche Man's libido to kick in. His dick started to swell. He thought to himself, "The Mime was going to pay for this!"

But being the professional he was it wouldn't affect his work.

He stormed into the toilet surprising The Mine so badly he swallowed a mouthful of Scope. The Mime put his hands up like he was in a box and therefore safe from harm. Douche Man calmly exclaimed, "It's not going to be that easy jackass."

Then punched his noiseless nemesis right in the mouth knocking him over the toilet and into the shower. As he laid unconscious with the shower curtain wrapped around him Douche man found some rope to tie him upside down. Then he looked under the sink for some corrosive liquids he could fill the bastards ass with. This was causing DM's cock to grow exponentially, and for a brief moment he started to wonder if he could get away with plunging the bad guy's ass out with his throbbing cock, and filling him up with some righteous semen. He was hanging at about the right height, and The Mime doesn't talk. Maybe just the tip? Just to see what it feels like?

After securing the mouth-ball gag into The Mime's lips, just in case, our hero used the clown's own sewing shears to rip open the crouch of The Mime's black winkle-free slacks.

Without reservations he leaned down and took his foe's thick knob into his mouth and began to suckle on it--feeling it grow slightly and tighten as it stretched our crime fighter's lips open more.

Join us next time to find out if The Mime wakes up in time for his douching...

Same Douche time...
Same Douche station...
​
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top