A Hairy Gnome Companion: Lawn Decorum And Vacuum Tales

[Autolycus]

DM's douching action justifies the douche equivalent of a high five! Keep that horny doucher doing what he does best - we need to know the rest!

 

[DonQuixote]

Hmmm?

Shih Tzu,
A curious conundrum, this.
The Evil Mime and the Dashing Douche Man BOTH "ASSAIL" their opponents with acts of unspeakable "horror?" A Rim Job and a Blow Job, followed by . . . ?
What "horrific" acts of violence and terror.

I'm not sure who's "enemy" I want to be, lol.

Maybe I can sandwich myself between them and get the "beating of a lifetime" from both of them. I've been a Bad boy. And a Good one.

Looking forward to the next lascivious licking

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

 

[DonQuixote]

Shih Tzu,
What a blast. Laughing my ass off. Man, did I miss a lot of fun and frolick last night.

That'll teach me to need to catch up on some sleep!

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

IN SPORTS NEWS

NASCAR champion Jeff Gordon has been suspended for 3 races for failing a drug test. Gordon, who recently "came out" in an interview with PLAYGUY magazine, tested positive for anabolic steroids in a pre-time-trial evaluation. When asked about his involvement with drugs he said, "Hell, all the guys are doing it. Chillax!"

 

[DonQuixote]

Shih Tzu,
And here, I thought NASCAR drivers were high on "speed", life, Bud, and maybe a little Skoal -- oh, yeah, then there's that "Blue" car - Vroom, Vroom - you can shift my stick, anytime, lol.

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

I know the car you mean. I guess that stuff really works. I found some graphs that verify the results. And graphs seldom lie.

 

[DonQuixote]

I don't mind if you get YOUR lips near me, but keep that PAC Man Chomper the Hell away from my family jewels - he doesn't know the meaning of foreplay!

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

At least it's not Ms. Pacman! Know what I'm saying? Haha! A woman couldn't give a guy a decent head job if there were directions printed on the dude's balls!

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

Okay, we have a winner of the Guess What The Hell This Thread Is Posta Be About contest!
Don?
Are you here today?
You have to be present to accept your award.
Of coarse the award has to stay here in the vault, due to our close ties with the C.I.A.

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

I was actually going to call it the Fairy Home Companion but that title was already taken.

It was the name of a story by a dude called MetroDad.

A Fairy Home Companion!

Last week, BossLady had a date with one of her gay male friends. They met up after work, went shopping at Barneys, shared a salad for dinner, and then went to see a late showing of "The Devil Wears Prada."
At the same exact time, I was eating a sandwich over the kitchen sink in my underwear, drinking a glass of scotch, watching the Mets game, and training the dog to catch peanuts with his mouth.
This really couldn't have worked out better and there's a good chance that, for the rest of my life, I will never again have to walk into a shoe store or go to the ballet. I've told the BossLady that anytime she and John want to do this again, I'll pay for everything.

Why didn't I think of this sooner?

 

[DonQuixote]

I'm here!

I won? Can I see it, Can I see it?

No, Not the award that has to stay in the vault, the REAL Trophy, lol.

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

One question Don, and don't lie cause I'll know! Are you MetroDad?

 

[DonQuixote]

I don't have a clue who (should that be what?!) MetroDad is.
No, he's not me,
and I's not he.

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAmn4eMusZk[/ame]

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

Paper back writer (paperback writer)
Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It's based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.

It's the dirty story of a dirty man
And his clinging wife doesn't understand.
The son (The Sun) is working for the Daily Mail,
It's a steady job but he wants to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It's a thousand pages, give or take a few,
I'll be writing more in a week or two.
I can make it longer if you like the style,
I can change it round and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.

If you really like it you can have the rights,
It could make a million for you overnight.
If you must return it, you can send it here
But I need a break and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.

Paperback writer [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwap79uy1G8"](paperback writer)[/ame]

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

That's my story and I'm sticking to it HA!

 

[DonQuixote]

That's my story and I'm sticking to it HA!

I was thinking it must be your theme song.
Good to know you were friends w/ Mr. Lennon!

You've written some short vignettes for our entertainment, but these aren't paying your monetary bills!

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

Baby steps my dear friend...baby steps.

 

[DonQuixote]

Babies aren't permitted on this site!

Now,

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZYNA6qUNTE[/ame]

GETTING in that way, on the other hand.

(Hmmmm, cum to think of it, there's not a lot of THAT going on, either. Just something crudely referred to as "breeding"!)

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

Oh I don't know about that, I've noticed a couple big babies on here from time to time...

Oh no, I've said too much.

I'll set it up; that's me in the corner. That's me in the spot light, losing my religion. Trying to keep up with you, but I don't know if I can do it.