A Hairy Gnome Companion: Lawn Decorum And Vacuum Tales

[EJMichaels]

I know he ate Mr. ChewToy, but you gotta give it a couple days.

My favorite so far.

 

[DonQuixote]

A Valentine's Day Special for that special guy in your life - You!

http://www.aneros.com/prostate-mass...mpaign=email_020411&key=8764&sub=email_020411

 

[EJMichaels]

^ Wow, a "K-tab". Good to know. And "perineum abutment"! Great picture with all the measurements.

 

[Lefty]

it cam be traumatic
and whilet not doing dramatic

Just what do you do
when it happens to you

and your pride, your pup
just doesn't measure up?

Crawl off and cry
or make someone die.

There went the thrill
and fun downhill.

 

[DonQuixote]

WE'll still love you, Lefty Lou.

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

and your pride, your pup
just doesn't measure up?

Size doesn't matter, Oh Great Left One.
Actually, all kidding aside, more than a butt load is just blatant greed. And greed is SOooo late 80's early 90's! Plus accumulating wealth is such a frickin' hassle_hoff

QUICK KIT! GET US TO THE MAIN POINT OF THIS POST -- PRONTO MI AMIGO!

You know I do not respond to orders in Spanish Michael__Why must you continually try my patients cheeseburger boy? I have half a silicon chip to stop abruptly and put your face through the windshield?

....Kit was a forerunner or precursor (if you will) to the GPS systems we all enjoy now. I wonder if there's a gay man voice you can request? I'ma have to contact GM with that concept...

...but I digress...moving right along....











Ight, I got us a
new pic to caption!
**imagine the reverberating echo of James Earl Jones' deep vocals here**

This time we gotz us sum cute lil titty tats______ok, that didn't come out nearly as adorable as I thought it would.
Tattoos on a titty... (for lack of a better word) is a painful thought to convey to ones buds. Ouuuch!

What are these guys up to?

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

I think he's pleading for forgiveness -- they musta broke something hehehe or pooped on the carpet.

 

[Lefty]

whose michael?

i dont do them religionisiticals

its to tough remem being who jseus was

 

[DonQuixote]

Leftykins,
Michael Knight.
Kitt was the Knight Industries Two Thousand -
A really souped up Pontiac Trans Am.

You remember Knight Rider w/ David Hasselhoff, before Babe Watch? They did a remake a couple years back with a bitchin' Mustang series.

The cars were almost enough to make a pubescent boy cream his shorts.

Tzu, your pic is coming up invalid - did it get yanked as copyrighted?

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

The cars were almost enough to make a pubescent boy cream his shorts.

I love that Candy-O album best of all, and the debut record kicks ass too...
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QeJDiDvTEE&feature=related"]let them leave you up in the air[/ame]

oh, you mean those cars on Knight Rider...ma'bad

Tzu, your pic is coming up invalid - did it get yanked as copyrighted?

I inadvertantly deleted it...can you ever forgive me? I'll make it up to you right now...

whose michael?

i dont do them religionisiticals

its to tough remem being who jseus was

Arch Bishop Michael "America Lacks Talent" Hasseldorffurter....
whose jseus?

WE'll still love you, Lefty Lou.

and he turned and screamed at Lefty Lou -- 'twas the break I was lookin' for
you could hear me screaming a mile away as I was headed out towards the door
Sayin' GIMME THREE STEPS!
GIMME THREE STEPS DONNY!
GIMME 3 STEPS TORDS THE DOOR!
GIMME THREE STEPS!
GIMME THREE STEPS DONNY!
AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME NO MORE!

...and that was Lynyrd Skynyrd here on the JUB, W_J_U_B_69 point SMILE on your FM dial!

You got the Tzu Keeper ohmpenin' cages, shovelin' ShihT and letting the wild thangs loose to roam the gnome dome! So foam yer combs, Homez and LET ME BRUSH YOUR ROCK n ROLL BEAR HAIR! LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!
...and this 'un goes out to post-daredevil legend, Leftyvel K'neftyvel, coz even when you ain't tryna be dramatic you keep it pragmatic and acrobatic for the mis-Gnomers and Gomers, the lurkers and the workers ya luv!!
You've inspired this DJ, Mr.L. and that ain't no bullshit. You engineer trains of thought that would never leave the rail yard without your poetic imagery to fuel those massive Cummings diesel engines...I can rarely lay down a word anymore without wondering how you might mold it or recast it's connotations; like clay in the hands of a master potter, you create one of a kind vessels, rich with detail and layered in meaning.

just a moment please....

hold on...

no, it's not a tear godamn it! I just got smoke in my eye, that's all...I'm okay now, I wasn't fuckin' crying!

Here's some rapid eye movement tunage...this is, so fast, so numbin' you'll think you're right handed!

For you Lefty...remember, downhill can be a thrill too!

There went the thrill
and fun downhill.

Movin’ through rough waters Lefty boy,
And swimming in your sleep.
How could I be so blind, mis-sighted,
Not to see there’s something wounded deep.


Anyone could scratch your surface now,
It’s all in bed with me
You’re blasting yourself into the present
Learn some vast indignity, to stay at,


You say that -- you hate it
You want to re-create it
I’ve been around, I’ve been a jubber
I let it go at Kill Devil Hill


Listen, this is now, this is here, this is me,
This is what I wanted you to see
That was then, wasn't it? that is gone,
This is past, you cast yourself last, passed by, then out of gas.

You love it.
You hate it.
You want to re-create it.
Now, this is here, this is me,
This is how I needed you to be
That was then, this is so, that is gone, let it go.
This is what you wanted me to know


We love it!
We hate it!
We live to re-create it!
I’ve been around now, been a bother
Yet you adore me still
We’re coming onto something so fast, so numb
That we can’t even feel.

You’re coming onto something so vast, so come
We can climb more hills.

^ "perineum abutment"!

I so love when you talk dirty eJ...hehe

A Valentine's Day Special for that special guy in your life - You!

If I were any more special they'd have me ridin' on the short yeller bus...and I hate the short yeller bus coz I cain't hardly lick the window too good with that helmet on!



Ich liebe die gesamte Dildoheimer buut plügen gurken geformte deichsel und gefüllt mit heisser Schweiß Geschmack und Cremige Flüssigkeit aus meine Arsch Loch.

zwinkern
​

donkie schöen
darlin' donkie schöen
thank you for all these rubber thangs

Eiffel Tower in May, we spent the day, you had your way, I let you play, and knew right away, that I was gay....
Danke schoen
Darling, dankeschoen
Thank you for all the joy and pain

Recall the Superbowl, let you touch my hole, you went so slow at first,
but it got worse, I spilled your murse,
my team was cursed
ooooo ooo danke schoen, Darling, dankeschoen
Thank you for all...........
**sporadic claps varying in degree of enthusiasm**

Danke, I'll be here all weekend, GO STEELERS! be sure and tip your moderator, Gute Nacht!!



[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTAr6WjlWf0&feature=related"]donkie schoen darlin' donkie schoen[/ame]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4xgvi9zsz4&feature=related"]trauma begat drama begat comma bega...[/ame]

 

[DonQuixote]

Tzu,
Irrepressible Tzu.
Whatever would we do,
without you?

 

[EJMichaels]

Tzu,
Irrepressible Tzu.
Whatever would we do,
without you?

I hope we don't find out!

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

Has anyone found the peach yet? I think I've narrowed it down to 4 possibilities and one actually looks more like an apricot than a rear end or a peach.

 

[EJMichaels]

Not yet, although I'm a bit hungrier than I was.

 

[Kyanimal]

Fifth row, center. Butt, I'd have to taste all of them just to be sure!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

I got my new Rolling Stone magazine and Elton John is gracing the cover. There are some terrific photos of his costumes throughout the years @rollingstonedotcalm -- I bet he was a fun guy [no mushroom pun intended this time hehe] back in them thar olden days.

WHOSE SNORING?

CARTWRIGHT--WAS THAT YOU?
IF I CATCH THE CULPRIT...don't get me worked up people, it ain't purdy!




anyho...

I'll try to post those adorable kittens again, and hopefully I don't screw da shit up this time. I'ma need everyone to cross your fingers so...



So, here's little kitty cats for your amusement...

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

 

[DonQuixote]

Hokay,
Two things:
1. Why? That last pic - is it a medical orifice? Is it supposed to be art - the magnificent rose bud?

2. Peach - 4rd row from the bottom, 6th in from the right.

Chaz, all the specimens in your row def look to be more hominid than "vegetable matter". I can't speak as to whether they're fruit, one way or another.

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

I am down to two finalists I think.
Check out the second row down--third peach from the right...looks pretty round to me! hehe but the one right beside it works tooforth from the right.