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A legalish question.

Kennylingus

Kennylingus

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Two friends of mine have both talked to me about me basically being a sperm donor to them. One's a lesbian and the other's a woman in her mid-forties who's single and wants to have another kid before it's too late. I don't mind helping them out like that and I've told both of them that we would have to sign some kind of contract so that they couldn't come after me for child support later on and I just wanted to know if those kind of contracts held up in court. Like if they get really hard up for money or get really pissed at me in the future...would they be able to come after me at some point?
 
Would you expect to have any role in the child's life? If you did not agree with how they were raising your children, would you want to have any say in it? By being a donor, you would have a responsibility to the mother of the child not to interfere if she did not want you in her child's life--could you do that? Remember, a majority of sperm donors don't know the woman involved and don't have to interact with the child conceived by such an act.

What you are considering is a very generous and selfless act, but in protecting yourself legally from them coming after you in any way, you would also be giving up any rights to be a part of the child's life if the mother doesn't want you to be. Are you cool with that?
 
I would be a horrible father and I don't even want to attempt it. I've made it clear to both of them that at most I'd be the fun uncle. I have no problem giving up rights...and even though I disagree with lesbianism and old age, I do have complete faith that they would both be good mothers so it's not an issue.
 
Disagree with? What an odd choice of words. . .:confused:
 
m1thousand said:
You just answered your question.

In the eyes of the Universe (thats kind of spiritual, huh?) , you will be the baby's father

Have you ever watched MTV's "16 and pregnant?" Maybe you should

;-)
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Huh?

I wouldn't play a large roll in the kid's lives. Barb's ape-ish partner would be father....God knows she's more man than I'll ever be and I would hope that Lisa finds a man eventually...but even if she doesn't I never knew my father and I am fucking AH-mazing...so the eye's of the universe can roll up in it head.
 
As others above stated, just make sure you have appropriate legal documents drawn up beforehand.

On a personal note, I had two individuals I know ask me to do this before. I declined. There's no way I could see someone raising my child, and even interact with the child, but have no say in how it would be raised. I also can't imagine having a child out there that I don't get to see every day. The sense of longing and of helplessness would suck too much.
 
I went through something like this myself. I’ll try to be quick in explaining. If you don’t want financial responsibility there is a lot of legal contractual work that needs to be done. This is significant money to have the contracts drawn up. Depending on the state you live in its questionable if the contracts are binding.

I assume you know there are sperm banks that your friends can get the Baby batter from. It costs a little more than your legal work.

In my case, I declined to donate because of the cost and the potential responsibility. As it turns out, I now have the little boy because the mother can’t handle the kid, a job and her own problems.

I don’t mind my new responsibility; my partner and I are putting in the time and having a blast. We now have a built in Baby sitter his mother for our now three year old. It is a huge responsibility of time and money but the love, affection and opportunity to watch him grow and learn is priceless.
 
just a guy said:
I went through something like this myself. I’ll try to be quick in explaining. If you don’t want financial responsibility there is a lot of legal contractual work that needs to be done. This is significant money to have the contracts drawn up. Depending on the state you live in its questionable if the contracts are binding.

I assume you know there are sperm banks that your friends can get the Baby batter from. It costs a little more than your legal work.

In my case, I declined to donate because of the cost and the potential responsibility. As it turns out, I now have the little boy because the mother can’t handle the kid, a job and her own problems.

I don’t mind my new responsibility; my partner and I are putting in the time and having a blast. We now have a built in Baby sitter his mother for our now three year old. It is a huge responsibility of time and money but the love, affection and opportunity to watch him grow and learn is priceless.
Click to expand...

They've already both agreed to pay to for the lawyer nes. for the contract. It's the questionable binding thing that makes me nervous. It's something I'm going to do some indepth research into...I'd really rather they be able to get it from me than a random sperm donor. Besides the fact that I have some really kick ass genetics as far family health history...I have heard of people having to go over and over again and pay each time because of difficulties concieving. If it becomes the case for them, then I can just pop over for a quick wank in their bathroom every few days until it takes.
 
Kennylingus said:
They've already both agreed to pay to for the lawyer nes. for the contract. It's the questionable binding thing that makes me nervous. It's something I'm going to do some indepth research into...I'd really rather they be able to get it from me than a random sperm donor. Besides the fact that I have some really kick ass genetics as far family health history...I have heard of people having to go over and over again and pay each time because of difficulties concieving. If it becomes the case for them, then I can just pop over for a quick wank in their bathroom every few days until it takes.
Click to expand...

When you purchase it, like my friend did, you get a full back ground on the person including results of personality tests, a genetic report, a family health history plus a lot more about the donor and his family. If you don’t want responsibility I would not do it. If you want to be the Gay Uncle you can still do that with out donating
 
Ideally I wouldn't have any responsibility. I really don't think either one of them would go after me for money...but 18 years of large monthly payments makes me want to be 100% safe legally.
Yeah I would be an uncle either way and it really doesn't make a difference to me. I'd still look at the kid the same way, they've come to me and asked me to do it though...and if I can get that fin. security down pat I'd like to do it for them. I like easy/fun favors.
 
Say you do this, the perfect little baby is born but there are complications and the mother either dies or is incapacitated. Are you O K with DHR taking the child and adopting it out? Or the child is 5 years old and the mother is killed in a car accidnet. Lots of things to think about.
 
I realize that hiring an atty can be expensive, but this is one area where it's always better to sit down w/ a lawyer, discuss the information, and have them to draw up the legal documents. I NEVER rec. going this alone.
 
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