A lession for those who want to fool around with their Best Friend!

[Riverrick]

That's why he will never speak to me again....can't risk remembering the good times we had!

I agree. He's so conflicted that he has to bury a part of his life.

Your honesty is beautiful and refreshing, Screwnutty. Its an honor that you share your feelings with us.

 

[Capricornus]

Hey.

I randomly stumbled upon this post and....wow. You are a much much nicer person than I am. If that had happened to me, I would have gone proper psycho. If I wasnt going down for life for turning them both into stir fry, then I would probably turn into a borderline stalker. I would be everywhere they hung out, saying nothing, avoiding them but still being there. I would make sure they couldnt forget me and let them know how much they wronged me. I would have made them feel guilty beyond belief.

Funnily enough, something like this happened to me but over a much shorter time period and a much smaller scale. I was experimenting with my best friend until he turned around to me and said he had a girlfriend and wanted nothing else to do with me. We still talk though but I'm nowhere near as close to him as I was. It is one of the worst feelings to know that despite time and everything you've done, that somebody can just throw it all away and make you feel second-best.

I cant imagine how you must have felt, but you have my admiration for how you are handling things. At the end of the day, its his loss, and he wouldnt have cut ties with you if he hadnt have felt guilty. The difference is is that he feels a sense of shame, when there should be none. If he was with you over a very long time period, then he knew exactly what he was doing, and dont believe for a second you were just a release; he could have gotten that from any cheap porno, hell, a prostitute would have sufficed. He could have said no at ANY time but didnt. I wonder why that is...

And as for the girlfriend, they say anger is the easiest coping method. Throughout their relationship, she has to live with the fact that no matter what she does, he was yours first. And that, if nothing else will eat her alive. And is eating him. The problem for them is that this is (or will be) an issue in their relationship, they cant let go whilst you are free to move on. No regrets.

And dont even get me started on his phone call justifying his behaviour. If that isnt denial, I dont know what is. To me, this story seems to be about how your friend cant accept who or what he is, and will at any cost, keep up his facade of heterosexuality. If it means marrying a bitch, or cutting out his best friend, then so be it. As long as he can pretend everything is ok, he will do. As other posters have said, time, if not karma will be against him. I hope to God it is, because what he did to you is in my opinion, inexcusable. You deserve much better.

I hope he regrets every day what he did to you.

 

[chrisdobro]

dang ...

well, this is not about the girl . Her slapping you was her way of dealing with it. I can understand it from her shocked side. Outing you was a bit too much. She's a b* for doing that. But it's not about her and not about the slap and not about her outing you.

This is about your friend here. He f*cked up royally. This is not about him realizing later that he's gay or not. This is about him realizing later how much of a jerk he was and that he lost a great friend. What he did was cruel. I am sorry it happened to you. I am sorry that you were and are going through this and will be going through this for a while ... I wish it was not so. I hope you will sort it out eventually. As for his 'punishment', if he did this to you, he will do this to other people. He will get his revenge somewhere else eventually.

Dang, this makes me angry. I would be the one who wants to never see him again for what he did, not him!

As for other experiences with best friends. I've had experineces with two my best friends. They ended when I moved to another country. I was on good terms with both of them. I talked to one of them when I visited. It was a conversation about stuff. I didn't mention about me being gay as he kept on talking about girls. I figured he didn't want to hear about what we did before. And the other guy I still talk talk to every so often. When I visit him, we have a great friendship between us. I brought up the topic of "gay", and mulled over it a bit wit him, but we never talked about what happened between us before. Because I've decided to not push it and let him bring it up if he wants to, but he never brought it up. I haven't brought it up again. He was my first love.

I was very sad when this ended like this when I moved. But I got a feeling from my friend -- my first love that he didn't quite want to do it anymore. Maybe it was to the best that it was ended 'for us' when I moved. I wish it wasn't so. But maybe it saved me from something worse. I'd like to think that it'd continue. But if it wasn't meant to be, it'd like to think that it would stop peacefully.

there was yet another friend. A ok-to-good friend. We played around and one day he said "are you crazy ? " when I asked him for something. So I stopped playing with him sexually, but we still were friends for some time after that. We were 10 years old then.

 

[screwnutty]

I agree. He's so conflicted that he has to bury a part of his life.

Your honesty is beautiful and refreshing, Screwnutty. Its an honor that you share your feelings with us.

Thank you Riverrick and I might add that without your help...I never would have posted this. So no...THANK YOU!

 

[screwnutty]

Hey.

You deserve much better.

I hope he regrets every day what he did to you.

Thank you Capricornus. I don't deserve anybody's pity like i pointed out and I really do mean it when I say I hope he is happy. Sure I may be a bit angry and a bit bitter but I do wish the best for him. I do hope that he is 100% straight (even though it pains me to type that) He was my best friend. If the rumours are true of him getting married to the girl and having kids....I hope he stays with it. Cause when you have kids with somebody...your life no longer matters. Your kids are your life. at least until the day they get married!

thanks again for posting your thoughts! I really appreciate it!

 

[screwnutty]

dang ...

And the other guy I still talk talk to every so often. When I visit him, we have a great friendship between us. I brought up the topic of "gay", and mulled over it a bit wit him, but we never talked about what happened between us before. Because I've decided to not push it and let him bring it up if he wants to, but he never brought it up. I haven't brought it up again. He was my first love.

Well at least you managed to have a conversation with him. At least he understands and at least he listened to you. Which is awesome! Yeah it was probably for the best that you moved away. Avoid the drama show that I received!!

Yeah you always remember your first....no matter what happens to you. I think that's why I'm not so trusting and as riverrick pointed out, I do have some low self-esteem issues cause well I'm a gay geek...I'm not going to win any marathon's or have a bunch of guys all handing me there phone numbers at once!!

Thanks for the comments! I appreciate them man!

 

[kayman23]

Hey Screwnutty! I just want to say your story sounds very similar to the LOGO movie "Mumbo Italiano". However, I will give my piece.

Your "friend" wasn't your friend at all. He is what I call a "user". What users do is use you for their own self-center, narcissistic purposes, but one evident thing about a user is their purpose for you always has an ending. Surprisingly, he used you for 15 years. There are usually warning signs of an user, which was in your case how he never reciprocated sex the way you did for him. Unfortunately, you had fallen in love him, and he had you were he wanted.

The upside to thing about an user is they get their "comeuppance". His will likely be him winding up wrecking his own marriage because he is not straight. Don't be surprised if your friend, Matt, tell you of how your ex-friend was caught with another dude. Your ex-friend is a fool that is playing himself worst than Nintendo by marrying that woman when he knows he isn't straight.

 

[chrisdobro]

Your ex-friend is a fool that is playing himself worst than Nintendo by marrying that woman when he knows he isn't straight.

I have to say ... if he knows he isn't straight, why hasn't he ever reciprocated ? Or did he ? Sounds like at least in the majority he did not. I suppose this can be due to his denial of his homosexuality.

In my case my friend reciprocated. They all did. But they all are not brinnging it up. Our ages then were 10 through 16. More experimental stages. From what I've herard, after that you know better what you like, what you're doing and less likely to do what you don't want to do.

In the case of my partner, he had a guy who did not reciprocate. He said it was a wasted time and it ended badly.

 

[Ninja108]

Sounds like you didn't lose anything with this "friend". As for the woman I'm sorry, but if someone hits me, I WILL hit back, man or woman.