A Little Advice?

[WestCoastWilson]

Thank you WestCoastWilson, appreciate the help alot . I would probably want to leave my parents house and have my own place before I start dating though. My parents probably wouldn't have a great reaction to finding out what I like lol. You think I should post a picture of myself on here? Opinions on if I would have a chance out there would help I guess lol.

You are very welcome, CopyX19. I hope that some of the information provided here helps. If your parents are not cool with you dating, then I would agree with you when you said "I would probably want to leave my parents house and have my own place before I start dating though. My parents probably wouldn't have a great reaction to finding out what I like."

You will have to decide if you want to post your picture here or not, as that depends on your own internet comfort level. However you never know where internet photos will end up . . . because who knows, you might decide to run for president one day and the photos that you posted in your young adult years “may” come back to haunt you. LOL!!! Yet when it comes to placing personal ads (on or off of the Internet), I highly recommend that you use a current face photo, as your ad will get much more attention than not having a face photo. Ideally “I think” guys do better if they post at least one face photo and one head-to-toe photo of their self in their personal ad, so that way the viewer can get a good idea of what the ad placer looks like beforehand. Also personally, I see no need to post other than “G” rated photos in your ad.

Good luck to you, and please check back in and let us know how you are doing.

Wilson

 

[WestCoastWilson]

P.S. CopyX19,trust me, there is "someone" for "everybody" out there, sometimes you may have to look "far" as they all may not be "near", BUT they are out there.

Wilson

 

[CopyX19]

You are very welcome, CopyX19. I hope that some of the information provided here helps. If your parents are not cool with you dating, then I would agree with you when you said "I would probably want to leave my parents house and have my own place before I start dating though. My parents probably wouldn't have a great reaction to finding out what I like."

You will have to decide if you want to post your picture here or not, as that depends on your own internet comfort level. However you never know where internet photos will end up . . . because who knows, you might decide to run for president one day and the photos that you posted in your young adult years “may” come back to haunt you. LOL!!! Yet when it comes to placing personal ads (on or off of the Internet), I highly recommend that you use a current face photo, as your ad will get much more attention than not having a face photo. Ideally “I think” guys do better if they post at least one face photo and one head-to-toe photo of their self in their personal ad, so that way the viewer can get a good idea of what the ad placer looks like beforehand. Also personally, I see no need to post other than “G” rated photos in your ad.

Good luck to you, and please check back in and let us know how you are doing.

Wilson

I just have some family that would hate the idea of me being gay and I just want to be away from that problem. My mom knows Im gay and I imagine shes ok with me dating. With posting pictures well yea true SOMETIMES pictures come back to haunt you, but hell im never running for president lol and im just ready to start my life and be happy. Not sure if I should post a pic before or after I lose weight ive been trying to work on for years lol. But either way ill do what you said and do a current face and head-to-toe, and keep it "G" lol.

 

[CopyX19]

P.S. CopyX19,trust me, there is "someone" for "everybody" out there, sometimes you may have to look "far" as they all may not be "near", BUT they are out there.

Wilson

I truly believe that, hopefully that'll happen sooner or later lol. Thanks for all your advice and help, you've given me a warm welcome here.

 

[CopyX19]

I was wondering since I thought about it recently. Do bears/cubs like tall men? I'm 6'3 so here's hoping lol.

 

[WestCoastWilson]

I was wondering since I thought about it recently. Do bears/cubs like tall men? I'm 6'3 so here's hoping lol.

CopyX19, you are very welcome. The sooner AND easier you make yourself available, you will be able to start meeting and then start coming across guys you seek. Though you are with your parents, don’t hesitate to meet men in public places (once you have met in a safe environment) and trying your luck to strike-up new friendships and finding a boyfriend. In my case, when I was 18, I joined my college's gay and lesbian students union (a safe environment), met and made gay friends there, and we hung out at public locations (since I still lived with my parents, and my new gay friends often still lived with their parents as well). I think that most guys your age would understand your living situation and would not be scared away . . . because there are also guys with their own places, who would have no issue of you coming to their place to hangout for friendship or a relationship. Thus that was the case when I was 18 and was interested in making gay friends and dating . . . yet for a couple of years, my parents had to get used to me going out and coming home late, since I never did any of this while in high school. While I was in high school, other than coming home late from my job working at Taco Bell, I was always home by 5:00 p.m. EVERY day. LOL!!!

Trust me CopyX19, your height will not be an issue to most men out there, no matter what type of man you seek. LOL!!! If you were over 7' tall or under 5' tall, then you “might” have more trouble finding a suitable man. Just be yourself and the right friends and boyfriend(s) WILL come to you. However you “have to” put yourself out there, so other guys know that you are available and looking (be it friendship or sex or a relationship). Sitting at home and doing nothing, accomplishes nothing, and you may regret not doing all of this sooner when you get older if you are still in this same boat by the time you are 30. Yet far as I know, I have never once come across anyone that had a specific height requirement for friends . . . boyfriends “yes”, but not friends. From my travels as a gay man, many gay men prefer men at least 6' AND taller (on their wish list), but will on occasion accept almost any guy as long as there is a good mutual connection.

Good luck, CopyX19.

Wilson

 

[CopyX19]

CopyX19, you are very welcome. The sooner AND easier you make yourself available, you will be able to start meeting and then start coming across guys you seek. Though you are with your parents, don’t hesitate to meet men in public places (once you have met in a safe environment) and trying your luck to strike-up new friendships and finding a boyfriend. In my case, when I was 18, I joined my college's gay and lesbian students union (a safe environment), met and made gay friends there, and we hung out at public locations (since I still lived with my parents, and my new gay friends often still lived with their parents as well). I think that most guys your age would understand your living situation and would not be scared away . . . because there are also guys with their own places, who would have no issue of you coming to their place to hangout for friendship or a relationship. Thus that was the case when I was 18 and was interested in making gay friends and dating . . . yet for a couple of years, my parents had to get used to me going out and coming home late, since I never did any of this while in high school. While I was in high school, other than coming home late from my job working at Taco Bell, I was always home by 5:00 p.m. EVERY day. LOL!!!

Trust me CopyX19, your height will not be an issue to most men out there, no matter what type of man you seek. LOL!!! If you were over 7' tall or under 5' tall, then you “might” have more trouble finding a suitable man. Just be yourself and the right friends and boyfriend(s) WILL come to you. However you “have to” put yourself out there, so other guys know that you are available and looking (be it friendship or sex or a relationship). Sitting at home and doing nothing, accomplishes nothing, and you may regret not doing all of this sooner when you get older if you are still in this same boat by the time you are 30. Yet far as I know, I have never once come across anyone that had a specific height requirement for friends . . . boyfriends “yes”, but not friends. From my travels as a gay man, many gay men prefer men at least 6' AND taller (on their wish list), but will on occasion accept almost any guy as long as there is a good mutual connection.
I do need to get out there and be more sociable and open so I could maybe find people who have alot in common with me (i.e. gay guys lol). I mean that would be a good start to make friends that I can relate with. But still, that cant really always be easy, I feel like maryland is sparse with homosexuality sometimes, lol maybe I just dont get out that much. Still, I need to find myself by being in my own community, still I need to find that like I said lol. Gay clubs and bars seem more like a place to get someone to fuck so that wouldn't be an option. Idk im starting community college so maybe ill find an opportunity a some point during that. Its all about just fucking getting out there to begin with lol. I just wish I could just finally do it already, it all about doing it yourself i know but shit I need some motivation lol.
Good luck, CopyX19.

Wilson

I really need to start being more social and being in my part of the community I feel like myself in. I just wish I had some motivation to get out there. Sometimes I feel like Maryland is sparse of homosexuality lol. Idk at first I thought about gay bars and clubs but that just seems like a way to get someone to fuck. Im starting community college soon, maybe then Ill find an opportunity somewhere along the way. I just wish that day would come where I could just honestly go and start living my life. Life is what you make of it, but im having a hard time just not caring about all the negative and just putting my foot foward.

 

[WestCoastWilson]

I really need to start being more social and being in my part of the community I feel like myself in. I just wish I had some motivation to get out there. Sometimes I feel like Maryland is sparse of homosexuality lol. Idk at first I thought about gay bars and clubs but that just seems like a way to get someone to fuck. Im starting community college soon, maybe then Ill find an opportunity somewhere along the way. I just wish that day would come where I could just honestly go and start living my life. Life is what you make of it, but im having a hard time just not caring about all the negative and just putting my foot foward.

CopyX19, you could also just start off slow and meet guys via social media. If you have a FaceBook page, you can also connect with guys via some of the gay groups out there, if you don’t mind being in contact with all types of guys from around the world . . . that way you don’t have to leave home while making new friends. I currently still have one of my original internet friends, that I meet online back in 1998, and we have stayed in good and regular internet contact for over 13 years. I live in Los Angeles and he lives in Canada. I have gone to Canada twice to visit with him. Yet our friendship started over 13 years ago with just one email.

If you go by that equation, 10% of our world population is homosexual, that equates to that 10% of Maryland is homosexual. LOL!!! Since I never drank or smoked, I never really liked the gay bar and nightclub scene, yet they are nice places to man watch. Though I have gone to my fair share of gay bars and nightclubs over the past 30+ years, but they were always a minor part of my gay life, since I opted to meet guys via the many gay groups and organizations that are part of our gay community, that have nothing to do with the bar and nightclub scene or cruising or one night stands. I met my current partner, and also my last 2 relationships were with guys I met via gay community social groups (which had nothing to do with meeting via the internet).

I’m sure once you start going to community college, that will present some new avenues for you to discover and explore . . . so you can start living your life. Yet always keep in mind, as long as you have an internet connection, you can start meeting like-minded men now, from the privacy of your own bedroom.

Wilson

 

[CopyX19]

CopyX19, you could also just start off slow and meet guys via social media. If you have a FaceBook page, you can also connect with guys via some of the gay groups out there, if you don’t mind being in contact with all types of guys from around the world . . . that way you don’t have to leave home while making new friends. I currently still have one of my original internet friends, that I meet online back in 1998, and we have stayed in good and regular internet contact for over 13 years. I live in Los Angeles and he lives in Canada. I have gone to Canada twice to visit with him. Yet our friendship started over 13 years ago with just one email.

If you go by that equation, 10% of our world population is homosexual, that equates to that 10% of Maryland is homosexual. LOL!!! Since I never drank or smoked, I never really liked the gay bar and nightclub scene, yet they are nice places to man watch. Though I have gone to my fair share of gay bars and nightclubs over the past 30+ years, but they were always a minor part of my gay life, since I opted to meet guys via the many gay groups and organizations that are part of our gay community, that have nothing to do with the bar and nightclub scene or cruising or one night stands. I met my current partner, and also my last 2 relationships were with guys I met via gay community social groups (which had nothing to do with meeting via the internet).

I’m sure once you start going to community college, that will present some new avenues for you to discover and explore . . . so you can start living your life. Yet always keep in mind, as long as you have an internet connection, you can start meeting like-minded men now, from the privacy of your own bedroom.

Wilson

Facebook would be a good option, but still I cant help but to think that maybe just getting out there in the world would be a great way to do it, like those community social groups you mentioned. I think for me personally maybe just doing it online for now would be the best option. I would probably need to make a facebook account again or something, all I really have at the moment is my youtube account lol. The fact that you have a friend you met online 13 years ago and you guys are still good friends warms my heart

 

[WestCoastWilson]

Facebook would be a good option, but still I cant help but to think that maybe just getting out there in the world would be a great way to do it, like those community social groups you mentioned. I think for me personally maybe just doing it online for now would be the best option. I would probably need to make a facebook account again or something, all I really have at the moment is my youtube account lol. The fact that you have a friend you met online 13 years ago and you guys are still good friends warms my heart

CopyX19, well for sure, it will take some time for you to decide what you want to do, but please keep us posted. Thanks regarding my 13 year friendship with my friend that lives in Canada. I never planned on having a penpal or a friend in Canada, LOL!!!, but it was just a real wonderful thing that accidently happened.

Wilson

 

[CopyX19]

CopyX19, well for sure, it will take some time for you to decide what you want to do, but please keep us posted. Thanks regarding my 13 year friendship with my friend that lives in Canada. I never planned on having a penpal or a friend in Canada, LOL!!!, but it was just a real wonderful thing that accidently happened.

Wilson

I got a friend on xbox live that lives in Canada and we've been good friends for a good 4 years now. So yea I think I know how you feel lol. Although 4 years doesn't compare to 13 lol. Still he's a great friend. About making a move with doing something to start my life, I'd rather just be 100% comfortable with myself and then start to mingle online.

 

[coffeeorbeer]

Chiming back in with another site you could try, which I think has more focus on the USA: "Out Personals".

All the best

 

[CopyX19]

On a side note I found this on funny pics, thought you guys might get a laugh out of it, that guy in the truck is so fucking cute.

 

[CopyX19]

CopyX19, well for sure, it will take some time for you to decide what you want to do, but please keep us posted. Thanks regarding my 13 year friendship with my friend that lives in Canada. I never planned on having a penpal or a friend in Canada, LOL!!!, but it was just a real wonderful thing that accidently happened.

Wilson

I'm not trying to insult you or anyone on here, but is this a hook-up site? Like idk I was enjoying myself on here but a friend I have was curious where I was going to "get my feet wet" and I told him where and he told me this is a hook-up site, and thats the only thing that goes on here. I was angry about that and we had a fight but were good now. But he said he's been here before and he knows people who cheated using this site. Hes a good guy who I've known for a long time, so its not like him at all to just start throwing bullshit up in the air. It made me feel like shit, maybe that's what a lot of this site is about but I just came here to share my interests and have a little fun but I'm not here to slut around and hook up. Again I'm not trying to insult anyone but its makes me feel bad if that's all what this sites about.

 

[WestCoastWilson]

I'm not trying to insult you or anyone on here, but is this a hook-up site? Like idk I was enjoying myself on here but a friend I have was curious where I was going to "get my feet wet" and I told him where and he told me this is a hook-up site, and thats the only thing that goes on here. I was angry about that and we had a fight but were good now. But he said he's been here before and he knows people who cheated using this site. Hes a good guy who I've known for a long time, so its not like him at all to just start throwing bullshit up in the air. It made me feel like shit, maybe that's what a lot of this site is about but I just came here to share my interests and have a little fun but I'm not here to slut around and hook up. Again I'm not trying to insult anyone but its makes me feel bad if that's all what this sites about.

CopyX19, “I personally” am not insulted. LOL!!! I have been a member of JUB since 2010 and I have never once thought of JUB as a “hook-up” site , yet I have never been to every nook-and-cranny of JUB either. Since JUB is so large and offers so much content, I usually only have time for the “Hot Topics”, “Bears, Daddies, Chasers, etc.”, and the “Tech Talk” (when I have computer troubles) forums. Yet some the other forums I have ventured in over the years, I have never got the impression that JUB was a “hook-up” site. Now with that being said, since I became a JUB member in 2010, I have seen postings on JUB (from time-to-time) where members try to connect for friendship or sex or love, yet that represents less than 0.1% of the postings that I have read since 2010.

Yet since I’m one of the Crypt Keepers of JUB (being 49 years old as of last week) and being partnered since 2009, maybe that is why nobody has ever contacted me for a “hook-up”. Yet since I’m an old fart, maybe there is a “hook-up” location on JUB that I just don’t know about (due to my old age). LOL!!! Yet I often wonder what happens in the “Make Friends - Introductions and Connections” and the “Regional Gatherings” forums.

Now with that being said, it would be interesting to know what JUB forum(s) that your friend is hanging-out in , where he is seeing that JUB is a “hook-up” site , because “overall”, I have never seen enough postings on JUB that would ever have me to believe that JUB is a “hook-up” site. Maybe he has JUB mixed-up with “Adam 4 Adam”? Yet I can not imagine why you and your friend would have such a silly fight over JUB , yet I’m glad that you 2 patched things up. Yet if you are going to get your feet wet, try some of those other sites I told you about a couple weeks ago. Also, if you are looking for something “cheap” and “superficial” and you don’t mind dealing with TONS-and-TONS-and-TONS of flakes, be sure to check-out “Craigslist” and “Adam 4 Adam”. LOL!!! Yet if you ask me, people can “cheat” anywhere “online” or “offline”. LOL!!! I would never brand JUB as a place to come cheat. LOL!!!

I only surf the JUB site for the interesting and thought provoking posts , and the tons of AWESOME gay porn photos drool:) found here . . . I must say that I have never come across a website that mainly seems to cater to gay men (until I found JUB), that has so much “mind” and “sex” stimulation in one spot! LOL!!! Personally, I enjoy the comradery and the opportunity to interact with other like-minded men, especially if there is a “good” and or “juicy” topic that I can comment on, that “may” help someone. Yet overall, I can “easily” get many hours of enjoyment and entertainment from JUB, but on the average, I can only devote about 1 - 2 hours per day to surfing on JUB.

For what it is worth, I would just keep enjoying JUB as you always been and forget what your friend thinks or believes. If I were you, I would keep coming to JUB to share your interests and have a little fun. I think that it is safe to say that nobody is here at JUB to force you to slut around and hook up. Bottom line “EVERYONE”does something or goes somewhere for “their” enjoyment . . . yet that does not mean it equates to meeting someone (for any reason) or cheating on someone. In my opinion. Yet I could be wrong, but based on your last post, if you did not mention "JUB", I could have sworn that you were talking “only” about “Craigslist” and “Adam 4 Adam”. LOL!!!

Wilson

 

[CopyX19]

CopyX19, “I personally” am not insulted. LOL!!! I have been a member of JUB since 2010 and I have never once thought of JUB as a “hook-up” site , yet I have never been to every nook-and-cranny of JUB either. Since JUB is so large and offers so much content, I usually only have time for the “Hot Topics”, “Bears, Daddies, Chasers, etc.”, and the “Tech Talk” (when I have computer troubles) forums. Yet some the other forums I have ventured in over the years, I have never got the impression that JUB was a “hook-up” site. Now with that being said, since I became a JUB member in 2010, I have seen postings on JUB (from time-to-time) where members try to connect for friendship or sex or love, yet that represents less than 0.1% of the postings that I have read since 2010.

Yet since I’m one of the Crypt Keepers of JUB (being 49 years old as of last week) and being partnered since 2009, maybe that is why nobody has ever contacted me for a “hook-up”. Yet since I’m an old fart, maybe there is a “hook-up” location on JUB that I just don’t know about (due to my old age). LOL!!! Yet I often wonder what happens in the “Make Friends - Introductions and Connections” and the “Regional Gatherings” forums.

Now with that being said, it would be interesting to know what JUB forum(s) that your friend is hanging-out in , where he is seeing that JUB is a “hook-up” site , because “overall”, I have never seen enough postings on JUB that would ever have me to believe that JUB is a “hook-up” site. Maybe he has JUB mixed-up with “Adam 4 Adam”? Yet I can not imagine why you and your friend would have such a silly fight over JUB , yet I’m glad that you 2 patched things up. Yet if you are going to get your feet wet, try some of those other sites I told you about a couple weeks ago. Also, if you are looking for something “cheap” and “superficial” and you don’t mind dealing with TONS-and-TONS-and-TONS of flakes, be sure to check-out “Craigslist” and “Adam 4 Adam”. LOL!!! Yet if you ask me, people can “cheat” anywhere “online” or “offline”. LOL!!! I would never brand JUB as a place to come cheat. LOL!!!

I only surf the JUB site for the interesting and thought provoking posts , and the tons of AWESOME gay porn photos drool:) found here . . . I must say that I have never come across a website that mainly seems to cater to gay men (until I found JUB), that has so much “mind” and “sex” stimulation in one spot! LOL!!! Personally, I enjoy the comradery and the opportunity to interact with other like-minded men, especially if there is a “good” and or “juicy” topic that I can comment on, that “may” help someone. Yet overall, I can “easily” get many hours of enjoyment and entertainment from JUB, but on the average, I can only devote about 1 - 2 hours per day to surfing on JUB.

For what it is worth, I would just keep enjoying JUB as you always been and forget what your friend thinks or believes. If I were you, I would keep coming to JUB to share your interests and have a little fun. I think that it is safe to say that nobody is here at JUB to force you to slut around and hook up. Bottom line “EVERYONE”does something or goes somewhere for “their” enjoyment . . . yet that does not mean it equates to meeting someone (for any reason) or cheating on someone. In my opinion. Yet I could be wrong, but based on your last post, if you did not mention "JUB", I could have sworn that you were talking “only” about “Craigslist” and “Adam 4 Adam”. LOL!!!

Wilson

I do believe you when you say this place isn't a slut lounge or some shit like that lol. I just felt extremely depressed after I ended it with a guy and I felt a decent amount of comfort from having these good talks. Its just this guy who I had this fight with is very intelligent, selfless, and has a strong bond with God so when he told me this, it really hit hard cause it made me feel like whatever I was doing to pick myself up was just a desperate cry for attention by being a whore. I did defend my opinion that that's not what this place is about. It just pisses me off because I'd like to have respect about where I go to mingle and I can't even get that.

 

[SeanFL]

CopyX19 - I've been visiting this site off & on for nearly 10 years now and it is NOT a pick-up site. I'm not saying people haven't done it, but for the most part I've found it to be a community of great guys (and some gals) who want to communicate with each other. I've given a lot of advice over the years to young men like yourself and I hope I did some good.

 

[WestCoastWilson]

I do believe you when you say this place isn't a slut lounge or some shit like that lol. I just felt extremely depressed after I ended it with a guy and I felt a decent amount of comfort from having these good talks. Its just this guy who I had this fight with is very intelligent, selfless, and has a strong bond with God so when he told me this, it really hit hard cause it made me feel like whatever I was doing to pick myself up was just a desperate cry for attention by being a whore. I did defend my opinion that that's not what this place is about. It just pisses me off because I'd like to have respect about where I go to mingle and I can't even get that.

CopyX19, just stick to your guns and I'm sure that all will turn out well with your experience with JUB. As they say "One man's meat is another man's poison". So don't let your friend's perception of JUB influence the good times that you have found on JUB "before" your fight.

One thing that really sticks out in some of the other postings of yours that I have come across, you have never once said anything leading to someone trying to pick you up here. LOL!!! Nor have you ever said that you are trying to pick someone up . . . thus has me to believe that "pick-ups" here on JUB is a rarity. IMO

Wilson

 

[CopyX19]

CopyX19, just stick to your guns and I'm sure that all will turn out well with your experience with JUB. As they say "One man's meat is another man's poison". So don't let your friend's perception of JUB influence the good times that you have found on JUB "before" your fight.

One thing that really sticks out in some of the other postings of yours that I have come across, you have never once said anything leading to someone trying to pick you up here. LOL!!! Nor have you ever said that you are trying to pick someone up . . . thus has me to believe that "pick-ups" here on JUB is a rarity. IMO

Wilson

Exactly, I never try to "pick up" lol. I've already decided to just judge from my own experiences and not listen to others so called "experiences" and take them as true.

 

[CopyX19]

CopyX19, just stick to your guns and I'm sure that all will turn out well with your experience with JUB. As they say "One man's meat is another man's poison". So don't let your friend's perception of JUB influence the good times that you have found on JUB "before" your fight.

One thing that really sticks out in some of the other postings of yours that I have come across, you have never once said anything leading to someone trying to pick you up here. LOL!!! Nor have you ever said that you are trying to pick someone up . . . thus has me to believe that "pick-ups" here on JUB is a rarity. IMO

Wilson

You've been such a great help to me on here, mind if I send u a friend request?