A little frustrated.

[Coolhippo16]

In a LDR and starting to feel a little sexually frustrated, Every time we meet up my partner isn't willing to bottom. (Says he suffered damage when he bottomed without lube a few years ago) He's the first guy I've been with and I've pushed myself to bottom for him a few times even though it's painful for me so I sorta feel it's only fair for him to try as well. I love him but I'm not sure what to do anymore.

 

[vidarr]

I don't know the details of the two of you so it's hard to give advice.

But if you are in your "young and falling in love" phase like I was, beware.. It can be easy to ignore your own needs and put all the emphasis on someone else when in a relationship. I know I am a "giver" personality.

If you aren't 100% satisfied with your relationship, you owe it to yourself and your BF to find a balance or, consequently change the terms of the relationship.

 

[tarallucci]

Sounds like an excuse, maybe he doesn't like to bottom at all. Does he know you are a bit frustrated about this?

 

[jaysizzles]

Do you love him enough to stay in this relationship without having anal sex with him? You don't like bottoming and neither does he. Why should either of you have to "push" yourself, or suffer to please the other. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, not something "painful" that you have to suffer through just to please the other. Nor should you want him to suffer, or even try to guilt or coerce him into it, if you actually do love him.

 

[Seasoned]

Sexual compatibility is necessary in a monogamous relationship.

 

[KaraBulut]

Sexual compatibility is necessary in a monogamous relationship.

^This.

The fact that the issue of bottoming or not has become the proxy war for a power struggle in the relationship isn't a good sign for its future survivability.

 

[dereperez]

Nothing should be forced in a good, healthy relationship. It's okay to compromise to a point, but then you have to ask yourself if you are still being true to yourself and if you're doing it out of love or just out of frustration and the idea of love.

 

[Coolhippo16]

You've all got good points, I guess I'm just holding out to see if there's hope in a way.

I only decided to try a relationship with him because he kept telling me he couldn't wait to bottom for me so I thought we were more compatible, Then we finally met he got weird and changed his tune.

 

[checkinthingsout]

You've all got good points, I guess I'm just holding out to see if there's hope in a way.

I only decided to try a relationship with him because he kept telling me he couldn't wait to bottom for me so I thought we were more compatible, Then we finally met he got weird and changed his tune.

It seems that you both are not as compatible as you thought you were...it might be time to move on.

 

[Rolyo85]

This all sounds like you are both very young and he is full of shit. If he's really afraid of getting hurt, just offer to ease him into it, with foreplay, rimming, fingering, lotsa lotsa lube. It's a sphincter, there are only so many ways it reacts. He isn't some special Samuel Jackson in Unbreakable, he won't turn to dust if he tries this stuff out.

If he is not being honest and this isn't really the issue, he just comes across as a dick.

Also, starting a relationship with someone just because he promised to put out is a solid fail, as far as dating goes. It doesn't sound like you are all that much like you love him, as you say in your OP.