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A lonely death.

S

scottish1

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This death has been highlighted on T.V.and press in Sydney since 10 January.
The body of a 64year old single man was found in his home unit (condo to others)undisrurbed one year after his death. His unit was in a block of 33 split into 8blocks. Mail and telephone books had piled up at his front door and mailbox. A meal service had left evening meals at a delivery box for him,but had not been collected. His neighbours thought he was away on holiday and had'nt seen him around for a while. The Police were contacted,attended and when no reply to knocking and told he could be away,they also left. Obviously the man had no close friends or regular callers or no close relatives. Only after a neighbour insisted that something was wrong did Police break into the unit had found what remained of him. No one has mentioned the odour of decaying flesh that must have taken place in the previous year and must have been apparent to anyone in close proximity.
Is this incident an indictment of the society we have become?. Are we in general so afraid of privacy rules,that we take less of an interest to care for other people for fear of retribution?. Do you know someone that this could happen to?. Could it happen to you.?
 
It could happen to all of us. At 64 maybe he'd lost most of his friends to ill health and the ones that were around aren't as mobile as they used to be. It's a sad fact of life but it isn't something that scares me. I came into the world alone and will leave alone.
 
Pushyourluck said:
It could happen to all of us. At 64 maybe he'd lost most of his friends to ill health and the ones that were around aren't as mobile as they used to be. It's a sad fact of life but it isn't something that scares me. I came into the world alone and will leave alone.
Click to expand...

Good grief! Most of us do not die of ill health at 64 unless we reside in the Third World. The issue here is lack of friends/persons who care.
 
MainEntry said:
Good grief! Most of us do not die of ill health at 64 unless we reside in the Third World. The issue here is lack of friends/persons who care.
Click to expand...

You'd be surprised with the significant differences in life expectancy in the US. Public health researches have demonstrated differences in life expectancy of 20-30 years or more between specific subpopulations in the US. There is a good amount of public research on this topic and a good example is a relatively recent study conducted at Harvard (See link for a brief summary)
http://www.news-medical.net/?id=20107

In this study the difference in "life expectancy between the healthiest and most ill-prone in the U.S. is about 33 years," the Journal reports. According to the study, Asian-American women in Bergen County, N.J., had the highest average life expectancy in the nation at 91 years, and American Indian men in several South Dakota counties had the lowest life expectancy at 58 years.
 
](*,)](*,)

Do you know someone that this could happen to?. Could it happen to you.? ​

yes, it is of great concern to moi:cry:​

eM.:(
 
It can happen to people who are "lonely but not alone" too, you know!
Having good friends, family, people who care about you all around you is no guarantee you won't die alone.

The brother of a good friend of mine is an example. He had masses of really good friends, he was very well known throughout "the scene", had a loving family, was a very outgoing guy, had his own succesful business-from-home, lived on his own.

He died at home one Monday, aged 42, and was found the Friday after....

So yes, it can happen to all of us.
But for it to take one year: that's just bizarre!
 
That's amazing... and sad. Here in a smaller rural community, if someone doesn't show up for say, a doctor's appointment, they're calling friends and neighbors to check and see if the person is okay. It's saved several lives recently, and made a lot of people come to their senses.

On the other hand, unlike a larger community, everyone here knows (or thinks they know!) everyone else's business... take your pick...
 
i suspect that's how i'm going to go.

left alone and forgotten.
 
This will be my fate, I know it. By the time I'm 64 my entire family will most likely have passed away. I live alone know, I don't have many visitors or neighbors who talk to me, I don't have many friends. I'll have to give someone a key when I get this age and have them come in once a week to check on me.
 
I reckon it could well be a few weeks before I was found if I dropped off the perch at home.

I would probably be missed at work before frineds, family or neighbours investigated anything.

That said I'd be dead so nothing to worry about anyway.
 
This could happen to me FAR too easily, and I've been concerned about it for years.

Though I have friends locally, there are no friends or events, church, etc. which I visit/do with regularity, and when I'm at my busiest working major hours I might not talk to anybody locally for as long as three or four weeks. Not everybody always knows when I'm taking a two week trip, or longer. I'm gone 12 to 18 weeks a year. My most "regular" thing is picking up mail or sending stuff, but at the Post Office they're also VERY used to my mail stacking up for one or two weeks because it happens so often.

In other words, if I suddenly keeled over, my absence locally would be nothing at all unusual until it was at least three or four weeks.

Though my case is structured in exceptionally unusual ways, I think it shows that, though having no friends is the usual answer, there are on rare occasions other things that might explain such a thing happening.
 
I used to fear a lonely death, but then I thought about it. I'm going to be dead so it doesn't really matter. Old age isn't what is going to take me out anyway.
 
Sad and shocking as the story may be, a number of people neither wants nor tolerates any close company, friends or family. It is their choice. Strange as this may seem to the majority, quite a few people acually enjoy their own company best.

Passing away alone and left in a condo for a year is, indeed, a horrific story. Yet, for the guy at hand, this was only a logical conclusion of the life he has lived.

SC
 
We also live in a society that often times does not have very much respect for elderly. There are people all over the country that are in nursing homes that have been put there by famlies that NEVER visit them. When I go see my friend that is a nursing home, she will turn 100 in August this year, it is always so sad to see the lonliness of so many people.
 
I tend to agree with ljhotboy more the last part of his thread. Although the gay community has advanced over the years in many areas, old gays are not in general as welcome, depending on what you term as old and many are ignored or shunned because of their age. I believe there are many old gay men who have not found a partner living a lonely excistance and not by choice and how many of them suicide because of this. I have no records or figures to back this up,but old age appears to be more of a curse in the gay world. As a question, how many nursing homes are in exsistance that cater for retired gays as a group identified within the community in general?.
 
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