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A New Discovery

M

mexamor

Sex God
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I was out of town and I decided to go to a "nice" gay bar so I could feel in my element. I don't drink and I hate cigarette smoke but sometimes I just like hanging out. I looked online and found a place that has an older clientle, 20 somethig and up. I went and I didn't know anyone but a game started and I sort of just joined in and had a great time. I even was invited back (yeah, I'm that cool :rolleyes: ) but of course I don't live there and only get into town once every few months.

I met this guy there, very nice, sexy, cool, smart, and fun. We talked alot and he gave me his info and I gave him mine. We talked for a while and I was telling him about myself and he let's me know he is straight. I was actually relieved and really glad to make a cool aquantiance that was nice, straight and I could be totaly gay around.

I didn't realize how important this was to me until a couple of days later as I was driving home and thinking about it. I realized that for the first time in my life i had met a guy that I could be comfortable around and there was no expectation of sex from me. I was able to be who I am and talk about myself and listen to his life too. I was able to be attracted to him (he is very sexy) and not feel guilty about it becasue, well I'm gay and so it is only natural to be attracted to cute guys. I don't have to worry about sex because he is straight and so we can be just firends. He isn't the kind of person to try and use me so I can also feel safe around him.

It was really cool for me. I have always pushed away guy friends because I either don't feel safe around them or I have felt guily for being attracted to them, either way I don't get to have many friends. I was so excited, I felt like a 2nd grader comming home and announcing "I made a new friend today".

When I got home I couldn't wait to tell my wife, she was like, "so is this a boyfirend?" and I said Nooooo it is a real friend! Any way, I wrote him a real nice letter and thanked him for what he did for me. I have been looking for something, someone and this is what I have been looking for, it feels right. I don't mean him necesarily, I mean a meaningful relationship with a guy like other guys have.

Any way, I just wanted to share this. (*8*)
 
What a great story. I had this happen a few times, too--and, you're right, it's very comfortable and relaxing when there's no sexual tension to deal with.

You told your wife? That's cool, too. She asked if it was your boyfriend (and, of course, he's not because he's straight). What if he wasn't straight, and he WAS a boyfriend candidate? Is she alright with that?

Thanks for the uplifting story!
 
Well, obviously she is worried about that issue, or she wouldn't ask. She doesn't know how to deal with me being gay, I can't say I know much better lol. I guess that you have to just go with the flow. I love my wife, she is a great person, I love my children. It would be fantasically hard for me to hurt them. It comes down to knowing if I am hurting them more being with them or seperating from my wife. I don't know the answer to that question. I have told her many times that she can ask me to leave at anytime, no questions asked, no drama.

I fucked up so what do you do? You have to deal with what you have and what you have created, that's what I try to do and hurt as few people as possible.

Anyway, thanks for your feedback.
 
Well, I just found out that my friend has AIDS. I fill so much emotion. I told him when I saw him next I was going to hold him and kiss him and tell him I love him, whether hi liked it or not. He laughed and said ok.:D I wish I could do more for him. I want him to come here and let me take care of him. I told him how I feel so helpless and he said just calling on him and thinking about him is great. He is a wonderful human being. I don't know why I feel so close to him. You know it is one of those things that just click for you for some reason like there is a conection.

I hope I am able to be a strength to him and a help to him. I guess things got worse for him because he was taking the meds and lost his job and wasn't able to afford anything. Now he has state aid and so he will at least get some treatment again but it went worse for him so he is resigned to dying from his disease. I told MF that I wanted to hold him in my lap and tell him I love him and I will be there for him, he laughed. Maybe we came into each others lives for me to help him through this, to help him feel peace. I am very religious (superstitious if you listen to the Oxford U professor) so I believe there is a reason for everything.

I am looking up remedies for AIDS and I am bringing him a bottle of AHCC to try. I have been thinking I need to play the lottery LOL so I can help him financially. I am so silly. Any way thanks for reading. And for those who are religious please pray for "mexamor's friend" Thanks.
 
Thank you Jacob. I know that this is a hard thing and he is so young it breaks my heart. He is under 35 years old.
 
i dont even know what to say, mexamor, besides "best wishes". i hope you both find that something fulfilling in this relationship.
 
You've read up on AIDS remedies and have become expert enough to propose alternate medicines. Are you sure this is an appropriate way of helping your friend?
 
You sound extremely fatalistic and uninformed about AIDS - rapid decline and death is NOT the inevitable outcome of this syndrome.

Is this the same straight friend you met only a month ago? You sound like a 'rescuer'. After 35 years has he no friends, family or support network of his own? Where do your priorities lie?
 
3nipples said:
You've read up on AIDS remedies and have become expert enough to propose alternate medicines. Are you sure this is an appropriate way of helping your friend?
Click to expand...

No, not an expert. I would never suggest anything to supplant his normal medical treatment. The AHCC has shown some promise in helping the immune system stay strong even with chemotherapy for cancer patients, I am thinking that maybe it will help his immune system along with his regular treatment. Gosh, do you think I'm crazy?! ;)

Thank you for your input, I appreciate it. (*8*)
 
spreadeagle said:
You sound extremely fatalistic and uninformed about AIDS - rapid decline and death is NOT the inevitable outcome of this syndrome.

Is this the same straight friend you met only a month ago? You sound like a 'rescuer'. After 35 years has he no friends, family or support network of his own? Where do your priorities lie?
Click to expand...

I hope I am not being fatalistic, just realistic. He had HIV and stopped taking meds over a year ago. I understand that treatment is vastly improved and he is keeping a positive attitude, which imho is one of the most important components of recovery from any disease. I guess I was reflecting his view on his situation. Thank you for poiinting out my negativity, I will have to make sure that I am a positive influence in him.

You are probably right about me being a rescuer, looking for ways to help people helps me feel meaning in my life. In this instance though, I feel a debt to him. He helped me understand myself in a way that I badly needed to comprehend. In my mind I am trying to repay him for the invaluable gift he gave to me, friendship. Of course I could be totaly full of shit. :D

He does have family but right now he is on his own really. I don't understand your question of my priorities. I think I have enough within me to support my family and give to others I feel I can help, even if my support is only moral support, a voice on the phone once in a while, a prayer to God for others.

Thank you for your input, it helps me to see things from other directions. (*8*)
 
Tommy, thank you for your thoughts. I am ok really, I just hope MF does well and that we keep him in our prayers, if we pray that is.
 
That's fantastic that he has someone like you to depend on. He's a really lucky guy to have found someone that would obviously move mountains for him. (*8*) He, as well as you, are in my prayers.
 
Well, I met up with my friend and had a great time. We went out together and ate diner and went to a bar (gay) nice place and talked and just a great time. I took him home and he just sat in the car and talked till like 1:00. It was really nice. He gave me a big hug and told me to call him when I got home to let him know I was ok. (Isn't that so cute!? I guess all dads get protective, I do the same thing, LOL)

As I drove home I was thinking about something I read a while back about homosexuality, how it wasn't even used to describe us untill before the turn of the 19th century. (If I am fucked up on this please feel free to correct me. ;) ) Any way I was contemplating how we men used to be able to relate to each other emotionally in a way that has dissapeared outside of us gays, almost. MF and I were able to talk, touch each other, hug (OMg it was nice to hug him) and be close. We shared ideas and intimate thoughts. I told him I loved him, he told me he cared about me. It was so wonderful.

Why have we lost this ability for guys to be emotionally close to each other. My daughter was talking the other day about having to sleep in one bed with another girl and how they just cuddled up together. Back in the day guys used to do that too. And we have lost that. It is so sad. What is wrong with our society?

Ok, no more soap box. I had a great time and I feel so alive and happy to have a guy friend that gives and gets as much as I do from our friendship. I am so blessed. Have a great weekend and Armistace/Veterans day.

(*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*) (*8*)
:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss:

*so I'm over the top, who cares?*:D
 
OK, Shut Up!!! No really, its great, that you have that kind of friend. I wish I had that kind of friendship with someone! I agree that people now days can't understand a deep frindship with out it being sexual. Look at Opra, and Gail! Everyone says that they are a gay couple, and need to come out! What is wrong with having a great friend, that you connect with on an emotional spritual level? I would LOVE to have such a friend. I envey you!
 
mexamor said:
Any way I was contemplating how we men used to be able to relate to each other emotionally in a way that has dissapeared outside of us gays, almost. MF and I were able to talk, touch each other, hug (OMg it was nice to hug him) and be close. We shared ideas and intimate thoughts. I told him I loved him, he told me he cared about me. It was so wonderful.

Why have we lost this ability for guys to be emotionally close to each other.
Click to expand...
It hasn't disappeared and why would it? Guys are still guys; the model hasn't changed. What you are describing is my relationship to my male friends, except that I'm not in love with them.
 
Yes, well you're european. I meant here in my country. ;) Thank you for your post.

Seriously, I think we have a harder time here at least sharing a bed or other things that used to be common. Labels can be very destructive I think.
 
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