A Personal Epiphany on Abortion, Not Religious, Not Political

[kevbo]

Re: A Person Epiphany on Abortion, Not Religious, Not Political

I'm pro choice.

My mother had an abortion between my older brother and sister.

It was a wise decision, methinks.

 

[Scrub]

Re: A Person Epiphany on Abortion, Not Religious, Not Political

I am also Pro-choice

I think women should have the right to decide what they want in their lives

 

[Endlight]

Re: A Person Epiphany on Abortion, Not Religious, Not Political

I am anti-abortion but will not go into details, nor debate.

I have done so too many times in the past.

I do, however respect others who feel differently.

 

[kevbo]

Re: A Person Epiphany on Abortion, Not Religious, Not Political

Also, I feel I must add that it is terribly difficult to get into talking about abortion without bringing up spirituality. I think 99.9999% of people's stances on abortion has to do with their spiritual views, whether they want to admit it or not.

 

[rotary]

Re: A Person Epiphany on Abortion, Not Religious, Not Political

Abortion isn't black and white- tons of ethical issues including late term abortions where the fetus is still viable, but its killed anyway. This is a disgusting practice and should be banned in this country. If the woman is able to deliver one which can survive, give it up for adoption, don't murder it (at this point I do consider it murder).

Of course if the woman didn't know she was pregnant & drank alcohol and smoked/took medications throughout the pregnancy, the baby can have a host of defects which raises another ethical question involving quality of life.

Its much too complicated to simply say "pro-choice".

 

[mega]

Re: A Person Epiphany on Abortion, Not Religious, Not Political

I'm pro-choice. If you don't belive in abortion, don't have one. No one should have the right to compel another person one way or the other.

 

[oasisdude]

Re: A Person Epiphany on Abortion, Not Religious, Not Political

I'm pro-choice. If you don't belive in abortion, don't have one. No one should have the right to compel another person one way or the other.

I feel the same way,,,,,,

 

[treanir]

Re: A Person Epiphany on Abortion, Not Religious, Not Political

Like most people above me, I too am pro-choice. And I would like to say that I've never ever heard an anti-abortion argument devoid of religion. I'd like to find one, if such a thing exists.

 

[StlKj]

Not a single comment on the original posting.

And we wonder why the subject is a hot button.

Everyone wants to say something, but few listen.

The thread looks like a poll.

Check your comments, darlin, as opposed to the thread.

 

[sixthson]

I will be forever grateful that my sons' mother loved them enough to give them life. The easy thing would have been for her to get rid of them. Giving them life also meant that they had to suffer in their tiny years, but by putting them up for adoption, she gave them a chance at life. True, it was a risky chance considering they were born in Romania, but she gave them life because she loved them even before they were born. She gave them life and we honor that great gift every day. She gave us this tremendous gift.

I have seen children who were born only to suffer and die, it seemed. It's an awful thing.

Jason, I am sorry your sister's children turned out badly, but it had nothing to do with the fact that they were born. It had more to do with who raised them and how they were raised.
That which came AFTER their birth was defective, not before.

 

[sixthson]

Not a single comment on the original posting.

And we wonder why the subject is a hot button.

Everyone wants to say something, but few listen.

The thread looks like a poll.

I'm sorry if I didn't answer in a way that was helpful to you. I thought I was responding to your epiphany by sharing my views on the subject of life. I did however comment on your original posting, I believe, but perhaps not sufficiently.

 

[Riverrick]

Its a very complicated post, Hardup.

I'm sure your grandmother was trying to be realistic, perhaps hoping to detour your sister's marriage and buy her more time to mature and get her life together. Unfortunately, there is no easy answer. One event leads to another. Even your grandmother mentioning abortion upset the apple cart.

Life is what it is. We make a decision today and follow our noses tomorrow. It sounds like that is what your sister did.

 

[Riverrick]

When you bemoan your own experience of neglectful parents you can think "I would have been better off having not existed in the first place" but on the other hand negative parenting experiences can give some people a social conscience and lead them to push for better parenting standards all around which may help future generations who are inevitably going to be created.

I have found this to be true.

My brother wasn't a very good father to my nephews and as a result, they try extra hard to not repeat his mistakes. And they've turned out to be wonderful fathers.

 

[sixthson]

Thanks, Rick.

What is the big shocker in the story is the juxtaposition. Grandmother spent her life trying to do positive things and restore the applecarts around her, while Mother seemed to enjoy loosening hub bolts on wheels.

That Grandmother wound up being the villain, so to speak, in my sister's young eyes, was the surprise.

Thanks for caring, all.

I think this sheds some light on your original post that those who do not know your story wouldn't pick up on.
You viewed your grandmother completely differently than your sister, even though you are the younger. This was a big surprise to you. We rarely see things as others do, I think. The convo between you and sis must have been eye opening and left you much to think about. Life continues to be a journey of understanding and growth, eh?

 

[wundersteve]

Not just abortion. Since this is a question about the road not travelled, one could go a step further back and ask if, if only the offending parents had utilized birth control, or never met in the first place. Too bad we can't peer into a parallel universe were different decisions were made, and directly compare with this reality.

 

[JayHew]

Agree with you Hard-up1, it should be legal but used rarely and with caution. I do not advocate for it but I will not deny someone's access to it as I do believe there are times when it should be done.

The only thing about it that bothers me is many times it is used as a means of birth control. I have seen this many a time over the years and I feel it is just not right, especially with all the other forms of birth control available. But to not have it is wrong too.

It is a personal decision and I don't have a right to step into that for someone else.

 

[sixthson]

If your sister had thought about an abortion to stop her potential child having a hard life then she would paradoxically have been in the right frame of mind to give the child decent start to life.

Unfortunately people who are genuinely bad parenting material are not usually the kind of people to see the sense of terminating a pregnancy or using contraceptives.

I sometimes think that people who have abortions may have made capable parents.

When you bemoan your own experience of neglectful parents you can think "I would have been better off having not existed in the first place" but on the other hand negative parenting experiences can give some people a social conscience and lead them to push for better parenting standards all around which may help future generations who are inevitably going to be created.

Andrew, I think this post shows great understanding and I applaud it.

 

[sixthson]

As for me, I'm happy now, aside from being single, and do try to live in such a way to make a better world, but I do regret my upbringing, and would un-be if given the magic button to push. That is not the same as being sad now, nor suicidal, just don't think it has been worth it all. Maybe that's the way every man feels before he finds love. I'm just stupid enough and optimistic enough to think it will yet happen.

I think this paragraph is more revealing than even you realize. I'm not an analyst, so I cannot pretend to understand it in all it's depth of meaning, but I do know there is much more than just regret about your upbringing.
To say your life has not been worth it all, is to question your value as a man and a human being, no? It is obvious to those of us who know you even a little, that you have much love to give and not just to a life partner.
While your upbringing was flawed, even damaging to you, something went right somewhere along the line. You are not bitter or angry, but open, generous and kind.
You are not perfect, neither am I, but life isn't about that.
It also is not so much about where we have been, but where we are going. You, my friend, are headed in the right direction. Look forward, look up.

The past can be redeemed, but the present is where we live.

 

[TygreBryte]

HU1, that's an interesting set of thoughts. It's funny how life can sometimes change our perspective on things.

I appreciate the voices in this thread who demonstrate respect for others who do not share their opinion on this contentious topic. I know I for one have been kind of hot around the issue here and there on the forum. I personally do not feel that abortion is either inherently "shameful" or "selfish". In many cases, I think it's perfectly reasonable and rational. But I know people have very strong feelings that aren't in line with my own thinking there, and it's not really my place to try and convince them otherwise.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[star-warrior]

I'm a dad, and apart from my own self, I shouldn't speak for anyone else about whether or not they should have an abortion. However, they should be made aware of the hardship from the outset of being a parent, and what curbs on your personal freedoms there will be during the tentative early years. It was quite a shock, but since I was a willing participant, I enjoyed my role as father. Maybe some people who are mentallly unprepared to face up the responsibility ought not be parents. Condoms and the pill are your best options. Don't let the problem fester until its too late.