A question for the bi married men who "cheat" on the wives with men

[Krakenbwool]

Do you cheat on her with other women as well? If not, what's stopping you?

And suppose you were partnered with another man. Would you cheat on him with women in that case?

(No, this isn't a bi-bashing thread. I know many bisexual men are monogamous with whoever they're with, but I'm genuinely curious about those who fool around.)

 

[jameskelly]

No, I do not cheat. My attraction to both men and women does not remove my moral fiber or love for my partner, who would be deeply hurt and would not be with me in an open relationship, anymore than if I was attracted to both brunettes and redheads, when I'm partnered I don't need to go out and find one of each.

In fact, as a bisexual man and knowing how hard it is to find partners who are not threatened by it but also not flaky, I have that much more appreciation of my partner, knowing how bad both straights and gays usually react to bisexuals as possible long-term partners.

 

[Woodie69]

I too have wondered this. I've read in some posts where men in a male/female relationship diminish the seriousness of infidelity because they cheat with a man and not with a women. Infidelity is infidelity?

 

[iwantbig]

yeah never cheated on my wife , if your not supposed to be having sex with anyone else , that means" anyone else "

 

[Krakenbwool]

Just to clarify again, I'm not judging anyone who "cheats." Just curious. Plus, it's the internet and nobody will ever know.

Let me change my wording again. Okay, so you don't physically cheat on her. But do you fantasize about other women, as you do men?

 

[brooklyn]

I have cheated with both men and women

 

[NineOfClubs]

Gotta say, there's more judgement and prudery on JUB than in any southern Baptist church in America.

For sure!

 

[MeDarrin]

Yes, true, there is so many judgmental people on this site.

I'm guessing that it's learned behavior. Gay people have been condemned for their "lack of morals," and "lewd" behavior, etc., so I think a lot of gays need to prove to themselves that they are indeed moral. The way they do it, unfortunately, is talking about their "moral fiber" when condemning others.

I don't judge any man who is married or has a girlfriend but who engages in sex with men. It may not be "right" in that he's promised to be monogamous, but who am I to condemn?

I'm sexually fulfilled because I like men and do men. If I liked women AND men what would I do then? Probably get some action on the side, and not without a lot of guilt, too. But I'd do it. I know I would.

 

[closet case]

I probably would cheat on her with other women but it's much harder to find no strings sex with women than it is with men. To be honest, I'm just not happy being married to her. Not sure if I would be happy being married to any woman. Yet, I cannot see myself in a serious relationship with a man either. It's been a very difficult issue for most of my life, my sexuality that is, and how it relates to having a serious romantic relationship with another person.

I feel very guilty for cheating even though I'm unhappily married. It's just not how I want to conduct my life. I realize that cheating (especially no strings cheating) probably indicates a deeper problem within myself, and I've tried for years to figure things out with only minimal progress. I feel like I've clarified some things over the years but much remains fuzzy.

And by the way, I've vowed not to cheat anymore, at least physically with another person. I realize some would view being on a site like this as cheating, which I wouldn't totally disagree with. But I've learned interpersonal change comes slowly, for me anyway. I progress by baby steps. And sometimes it's a step forward, then a little step back. The goal (like for most people) is to be an integrated, authentic person. To be who you are without having to hide parts of yourself.

 

[wooffy]

Yes, true, there is so many judgmental people on this site.

I'm guessing that it's learned behavior. Gay people have been condemned for their "lack of morals," and "lewd" behavior, etc., so I think a lot of gays need to prove to themselves that they are indeed moral. The way they do it, unfortunately, is talking about their "moral fiber" when condemning others.

No, it's just this site.

 

[Lefty]

Krakers.................

Is it cheating if your committed partner authorizes take out just as long

as its fast food.....because they hate to cook since childhood left them a

less than interested idea about cooking but loves the rest of the home

and garden bit......dog, cat, kid. And is otherwise a great friend and great

companion?

Or does your survey allow for that?

 

[CockDocker]

I'm with an openly bisexual woman and we love each other very much. But a girl does something for her that I can't, just as she can't fulfill my desire for hard cock. We both understand this and are open and honest about it all. Others are just fuck buddies and emotion never enters into it, so we are emotionally faithful to each other.

 

[Lefty]

^

Similar to what I wrote.....last sentence from the comma to the period

actually speaks for a number of committed relationships.

Almost wonder how many divorces would never have shattered lives if

more people realized procreation is one issue, recreation another.

Personally, Naked bodies in good shape are my downfall.....showers or

nude beach or camp...no problem.....thats day to day......but a little space,

a little quiet...oh my....tasteful porno of most any flavor....walking can become

the challenge to uhmmmmmm beat.

 

[Krakenbwool]

I'm with an openly bisexual woman and we love each other very much. But a girl does something for her that I can't, just as she can't fulfill my desire for hard cock. We both understand this and are open and honest about it all. Others are just fuck buddies and emotion never enters into it, so we are emotionally faithful to each other.

That's what I've always thought in terms of being married to a bisexual, too. I know that most men don't have an issue with having bisexual wives, but most women make a big deal out of having bisexual husbands. Obviously, more men dig girl-on-girl than women dig guy-on-guy, but I think it speaks to female insecurity as well. Society glorifies male genitalia over female, as much as we think "pussy" runs the world. Men don't get worried about his wife leaving him for another woman because "he has the cock" while women are paranoid about their husbands leaving them for other men because she "doesn't have a cock," as if having a dick is some sort of power.

 

[conrad]

Let me put it this way: In real life I am kutterly faithful, but I do admit that :in my mind I am shamelessly promiscuous and have had fantastic sex with sexually attractive persons of both sexes.

I have never thought of myself as anything but a regualr guy. I am horny as the next guy and have always been that way. I also assume that the Crea.tor meant for those persistent urges to drive me to seek satisfaction with other persons. (I should add that I have been married a very long time and happily so,.) But my attraction to sexually attractive persons remains strong. I also assume that the Creator gave me a brain to keep those persistent urges under control and to keep me out of trouble.

My own conscience and the restraints which socieity has imposed keep my urges in check,but , I do think there is great value in keeping one's mind free to wander. I also admit that have never been displeased when I have learned that I have been sexually attractive to other persons.

This would be a dull world without those pleasures that are z"beyond our reach."

 

[houtx20s]

for me .. getting off with a guy is sort of a "guys night out" type of thing. I don't deer hunt, or watch sports endlessly but rather a good bj at the gym or getting off with guys I've enjoyed. I have never looked at it as cheating oddly enough. With a woman, I would and while i find woman attractive, would never do anything with them as that to me is really cheating on my wife where with a guy, its just a "guy thing."

now with that said, a guy did blackmail me into telling my wife or paying him off and it has been a really hard year for us. I've not hooked up with a guy since and while I have a desire, I have avoided situations that would make it easy. Dropped gym membership to avoid sauna, hot tub, open showers and such which are total temptation. Travel and stay at hotels without a bar and such things. My wife and I initially played with more toys, she got a strap on, tried anal, and its been nice but every day is day of healing that never had to be if it wasn't for me. I hate what I've done to her and somewhat envy the guys married to girls that play with them but you know, its just all confusing at times. It will never be the same between us but that may not be all that bad in the long run but for now, day by day and clearly, sex with another person regardless of sex is cheating no matter how you justify it in your mind.

So, is checking out this site, and looking at some video and pictures cheating? I don't know but I'm only touching her and myself so for me, that's a good start.

 

[Frenchie]

No, it's just this site.

No, it's the same thing on the french gay sites...

 

[Lefty]

The cleaving, marrying and cheating stuff was valid in the ancient times when

babies just happened....and kids were the bearers responsibility ultimately....

(courts didn't have child protective services or child support. Hygiene was

marginal, medicine in its infancy, yadayadayada. Men fought wars and had

border issues and other things to drag them away from the hearthplace....even

when it was a cave. Later, men went to the tavern or the woods with men or

poker nights.......male bonding.

This is presented in a free form style, hoping it finds you in free thinking form

mode.........

 

[cocksucker4use]

for me .. getting off with a guy is sort of a "guys night out" type of thing. I don't deer hunt, or watch sports endlessly but rather a good bj at the gym or getting off with guys I've enjoyed. I have never looked at it as cheating oddly enough. With a woman, I would and while i find woman attractive, would never do anything with them as that to me is really cheating on my wife where with a guy, its just a "guy thing."

now with that said, a guy did blackmail me into telling my wife or paying him off and it has been a really hard year for us. I've not hooked up with a guy since and while I have a desire, I have avoided situations that would make it easy. Dropped gym membership to avoid sauna, hot tub, open showers and such which are total temptation. Travel and stay at hotels without a bar and such things. My wife and I initially played with more toys, she got a strap on, tried anal, and its been nice but every day is day of healing that never had to be if it wasn't for me. I hate what I've done to her and somewhat envy the guys married to girls that play with them but you know, its just all confusing at times. It will never be the same between us but that may not be all that bad in the long run but for now, day by day and clearly, sex with another person regardless of sex is cheating no matter how you justify it in your mind.

So, is checking out this site, and looking at some video and pictures cheating? I don't know but I'm only touching her and myself so for me, that's a good start.

Wow. The blackmail thing is ugly.
I was a sex slave to a guy who is married. His wife came across our emails. Very ugly and he was really reformed and good for about six months and had no contact with me. We have been back at it for awhle now, and he is talkin love and wantin to ditch her, etc. Go figger.
I never really gave it much thought...he is totally hot, and we mesh in the dom/sub thing and he is a great fuck. I am not the first by a long shot, and will not be the last.

 

[Lefty]

Sorry, just me again. think about this...............the term is cheat. Isn't
cheating when you take something away from someone? So, if your
'partner' has no desire for sex......they are the one cheating..yes, they are
taking away your sex life (catastrophic situations not applicable) or by
not getting the release your body is NATURALLY seeking, you are cheating
yourself which is going to have a negative spin on your home life.

Make Sense?....Does to me.....unless you????