A Question I've Been Pondering

[NineOfClubs]

I've never condemned anyone for taking his/her own life.

Sometimes I do think they were a bit cruel to those left behind. Especially when they don't even bother to say goodbye in a note.

For myself, I don't rule out suicide someday. It's a case of "never say never".

 

[looseliam]

Horrible? I think most deaths are horrible.

But, I would have killed myself many times, if it wasn't so final.

Things can always change. But one you pull that trigger, so to speak, it's over. Done. Finished.

Plus, knowing my luck I'd survive to be paralysed or a veggie.

All kidding aside, I really can not put myself in a frame-of-mind to try and understand how life could be so bad and such a waste where the only option is to end it. And honestly, part of me doesn't want to understand, for it frightens me just a bit.

 

[luminum]

While suicide probably isn't the most horrible thing in the world, I do think that its biggest drawback is that the person is shortchanging him or herself.

They may think that they have nothing to live for, but did they know that the next day or the next year, they'd meet the love of their life? Or encounter a kid who needs a home and becomes like a child to them? Or somethings else that may make their life worth living?

There are so many things you miss out on if you think there's nothing more to come.

On a more serious note, suicide is also inherently selfish. The person may believe that killing him or herself would make everyone else happy, but then why don't they just do it in front of everyone if they think no one will care? Why do they always do it alone?

I've said it before and I say it again, not a single person in the world belongs to himself alone. If you die, there will always be someone who grieves.

 

[DiaryOfAMadman]

Say what you wish because I know I'll take heat for this from those who have lost loved ones by way of suicide. I believe people who commit suicide are mentally, emotionally, and physically weak cowards. Everyone has hard times now and then it's part of being human, some last longer then others. I'm not saying that you have to be strong to overcome adversity, but you are just so damn weak if you come to the conclusion that "I'm so miserable that I have to end my life". To them I say GOODBYE! I've never cried a tear for those who have taken their own lives. People who take this easy way out are denying themselves one of the greatest aspects of humanity. That ability that lets people climb up from any level of adversity and make something out of their lives.

I look at my first boss who spent years of his childhood in a Nazi concentration camp watching every single member of his family except for him killed. Jump 50 years into the future and he has a loving wife, 2 daughters, and 5 grandchildren. Plus he started his own company and became a self made millionaire.

There are so many examples of people in history who have emerged from the darkness to make this world a better place. Who made this world better then the way they found it.

I can understand tremendous physical pain. If you were suffering end stage cancer and the pain was unbearable I would understand if your doctors would snowball you into death. You can even go to Oregon and make use of the Physician Assisted Suicide Law. You have every right to and I would never second guess your discission. But I draw the line between physical and emotional pain.

No its not right fora parent who has lost a child to kill themselves and rob any of their other kids or the rest of their family of a lifetime of memories. How many times a teen and in my earlier 20's I had to listen to friends tell me about how awful their family life is and my advice to them was turn 18, get a job, and move out. When you encounter problems in life you have to figure out a solution, a way to resolve the problem "ending it" is not a solution. It's just a cowards way of removing yourself from the equation.

 

[DiaryOfAMadman]

Horrible?
But, I would have killed myself many times, if it wasn't so final.

Things can always change. But one you pull that trigger, so to speak, it's over. Done. Finished.

This quote hits it right on the head for accuracy.

 

[JASON0980]

Just some pointless late night, personal thoughts...

Upon hearing about the tragic suicide of comedian Richard Jeni my mind went into overdrive and I began to ask myself a question that I've pondered countless times before. That question is: is suicide truly as horrible as it seems? I certainly can't say it's a good thing really in any way, and yet, I've thought about it so many times.

I saw an interview on TV today with one of Richard Jeni's old friends and he talked about how sad it all was and how selfish it was of him to do what he did. That's what I always think about. It is selfish, I must admit. Taking one's own life affects a lot of people. And yet, that's not enough to get the question out of my head. And I know precisely why that question is there in the first place.

I've thought about suicide so much I think the bluntness of it is gone. I see how horrible it is and still I can't help but consider it so to speak. At this point it is my family that keeps me from intensely contemplating what may very well be inevitable. I've begun to take a sort of comfort in it. And when you take comfort in something and you ask yourself whether it's truly such a horrible thing or not you start to think that perhaps the answer is no.

i have thought about suicide before, even tried it a few times. i didn't realize how many people would be changed if i did. i didn't see the hurt i would cause. it is never the right choice and it is the most selfish thing you can do.

my ex-boyfriend was dating a guy that killed himself. years ago and it still hurts him to this day. he is a totally different person because of it. i knew a kid in school who's father killed himself, she will never be the same never as happy as she was before then. and one of my friends grew up with this guy that killed himself, and he can't even mention it without tearing up. these people will never be the same, because one person in there lives killed himself. it wasn't fair to them. the lest they could have done was to have enough compassion to stick around for the ones that loved them.

i don't think it is okay. and i could never look at life like there is only one option again. there are always other options (enough that suicide should never be one)

that has been my experience with it. take it or leave it.

 

[star-warrior]

A suicide is bad for those it affects most - family and friends. When they realise what must have lead up to it, and they weren't there to help, they will feel some guilt too.

 

[ashonfire]

a lot of the sadness i always feel when i hear somebody has killed themselves is for how that person must have felt in order to do that to themselves.. so it is very tragic in that they must have felt so alone, so confused, so hurt that they couldn't see a way out.

and there is always a way out.

 

[Newbie_69]

Suicide is an option in life. But its not THE option. Many that killed themselves were too focusing on only 1 way out. There are hundreds ways out But when the decision is made based on the information one has, its obvious that its very limited. That's why environment, atmosphere and social pattern of a person greatly influence one's decision making ability. That's a fact. So, the best thing to do when someone feels horrible and thinking of suicide, the environment, atmosphere and social pattern should be changed. PRONTO! However, in most cases, the more they feel down, the more they isolate themselves from people around. The worst thing in the world to do when you feel down is to isolate yourself from people. The Mind is At The Most Dangerous State when Its Left Alone. Since you don't have anything to think of, you start accompany doubts. And it starts to spread and when it really got worst, bad decisions are made and actions are taken.When a really bad decision is taken into action, there's no turning back.

 

[KennyD]

Hmmm, good topic . Since I have no "Real" family to consider and very few "True" friends ... taking my own life would not be such a big deal.
Being Diabetic ; I face the risk of going blind and/or losing limbs . IF that should ever happen, I will not allow myself to be put into some "home" or nursing facility. I would prepare six or so syringes of Insulin ... go and sit on the side of my bed ... inject myself with all the syringes .. then lay down and go to sleep ... BUT; I would leave a letter for each of my friends , and a note for the authorities etc as well as my will etc ... Sometimes ya' just got to do what you have to do .
NOTE: Don't ever judge what someone else does until YOU'VE walked in His shoes !!

 

[jft245]

I have had three cousins commit suicide. You are all right, I dont think someone that commits suicide understands the hurt that is done to family and friends they leave behind. That being said, can we really understand what is going on in their life that makes it so unbearable to continue to live? I have contemplated suicide several times but was able to convince myself that my problems would pass and were not so terrible. I can understand though how someone who does not have a support system of family and friends could believe that they just can't take it any more.

 

[FabFairy]

Oh the compassion of some!! SHEESH

You may well say "I dont think someone that commits suicide understands the hurt that is done to family and friends they leave behind" but what is really sad is that a person feels this final step is the option left opened to him.

As a christian based society and even if you don't believe these same principles still apply. Society doesn't really measure up when it comes to showing love, understanding, compassion, support or help much needed help.

Clearly if you don't like the aftermath of suicide then more needs to be done to prevent it from happening in the first place

 

[slobone]

If you believe your life is meaningless and of no value, then why wouldn't that apply to other people's lives as well? So murder is equally justifiable. Or even mass murder, why not go all the way?

I believe that every human life is infinitely precious, and our highest obligation is to use every ounce of our strength to keep it going. I might make an exception for people who are experiencing unendurable physical agony, but not ordinary depression, which is treatable.

Every single one of us is a vital part of human society, and you're robbing that society when you remove yourself from it. So yes, it's a very selfish, thoughtless, cowardly and lazy act. It's a lot easier to kill yourself than to do the hard work needed to solve your problems.

 

[poetstud1981]

It's a lot easier to kill yourself than to do the hard work needed to solve your problems.

thats sounds so true and i think hes right i mean when the going gets tough, u either deal with it and let it slowly tear u down or u make it better by embracing it and moving forward instead.


but its up to teh person that wants commit suicide to do it or not. and we really cant stop them. the only thing we can do is prolong it really. like i have a young friend that wants to kill himself but he wont do it because i ask him not to and tell him that he has a lot to live for. so i know if im not around he would do it and i will not be able to stop him.

but if u feel that u want to take ur own life why not talk to someone about it and let them convince u otherwise

 

[roguehunter]

this is way to hard for me to even think about, im sorry. my friend killed himself last night. and because of this, it got me back into a situation i never thought i would be in again. cocain. i used to take alot of this when times got tough, that was my release. i quit for a LONG time. then last night i found out my friend killed himself, and i went and bought a point of it. Then it hit me, shit you know what, im not even sad im just bloody angry. if he even told me that he felt like that, even if i couldnt stop him doing it, it would have never made me feel like i needed to turn back to drugs. its a vicious cycle that life thing. and you know what fuck it. im not going to take drugs again, and im not going to be sad over my friends death, but i have every right to be angry. would you want to make your friends angry? i dont know. im in a really weird place at the moment, all because of suicide. i dont think its an option, i think there is answers to everything. its about growing up, and staying on top of your emotions. life was never meant to be a walk in the park, you have to remember that no matter how hard you might think you have it, some one else has it harder, that doesnt make it right either. the good comes from if you can help someone else. well thats what i think. i dont even know anymore.

 

[looseliam]

^ And you'll be angry for a while; it's part of the process.

Substances never solved anything. But I have to admit, sometimes they help.

I'm sorry to say, that not everything in life can be solved; not everything has an answer. Sometimes it 'just is'.

 

[roguehunter]

^thanks i know substences never help, but honestly i didnt even feel a buzz last night, i just felt calm enough to be able to get to sleep. and then i woke up clear headed and thought about all the good times we had together, that got me more angry but also not so much, hard to explain how i feel.

 

[dr_beat]

If you believe your life is meaningless and of no value, then why wouldn't that apply to other people's lives as well? So murder is equally justifiable. Or even mass murder, why not go all the way?

Sorry, but that's a lame argument. Just because a person thinks his life has no value doesn't mean the same extends to other people. He may not even care about other people.

That's why people think those who commit suicide are "selfish". Duh!! Of course it's selfish because the person is so immersed in the nothingness of his life. Also, he believes that no one around him cares enough to help him out. But the thing is, "selfish" means "It's all about me..." Well, if you feel cheated because someone you loved killed himself, aren't you making it all about you?

Apparently in many suicide cases, someone exhibits behaviour that acts as a clue before the event. Perhaps those of us around are being "selfish" if we brush off the person by saying, "Everything will be better tomorrow," or "What are you whining about? Many people have it worse off?" or "Can we talk about this later? I don't have time right now."

The best way to stop suicide is to stop judging everyone around us and try being more sensitive to people's needs and feelings.

 

[Jarren]

Sometimes I do think they were a bit cruel to those left behind. Especially when they don't even bother to say goodbye in a note.

Agreed. That's my main beef with it. And perhaps the mess that's left behind. I know that clinical depression may be a rather complicated issue, but I'd like to think that "having something to be enthusiastic about" is all it takes to be happy.

So thank goodness for snowboarding and sex. It's certainly keeping me alive.

 

[looseliam]

I've pondered this question countless times myself. But I suspect I will finally find the answer within the next few weeks when I'm sitting in the garage with the car running...

Make sure it's an older car. Preferably pre-catalyst.

The new cars these days clean the exhaust rather well. You might just end up with a headache.