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A question please?<3

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I'm new here :) For starters, I'll say this. I'm nineteen years old, and my partner is eighteen years old. We've known each other all of our lives, except that first year for me of course :) And on valentine's day next month, we make ten years together (and three years engaged! :D). We may have gotten together at a young age, but.. We've never had a breakup, and we haven't faded a bit over the years we've had. :)

We have been sexually active for a few months shy of a year now. We waited until we were both ready, and we've used protection each time. We were each other's firsts and of course we haven't been experiencing with anyone else in between. :P I'm the more dominant one of the two of us, therefore I'm what you may call versatile top. He's the more submissive of us two, and he's what he calls, versatile bottom. And he's a cutie pie. :D

My question is, may we make love without condoms? We've both been tested for most major (some minor) STDs/STIs, whatever have you, and all have come back negative. I love my little boy, and I want him to stay healthy and safe no matter what. Aside from his happiness, it's my other top priority. We've followed the 'No Glove, No Love' advice every time..but we'd rather we make love without one. Plus, he's been on my case about making love naturally lately anyway :P (I'll admit, he's got me wrapped around his pinky :P) So, will it be safe to? And please don't lecture me telling me we're too young for this :) And that this is puppy love.. While I appreciate the advice and criticism, that isn't what I'm asking :) We didn't get this far for a quick shag and release of hormones, we got this far because we wanted to establish a physical, as well as emotional, bond with each other. Furthermore, the only thing I'll ever change about my Micah is his last name<3 (*8*) Thank you for reading, and for the advice in advance <3 xx
 
I'm new here :) For starters, I'll say this. I'm nineteen years old, and my partner is eighteen years old. We've known each other all of our lives, except that first year for me of course :) And on valentine's day next month, we make ten years together (and three years engaged! :D). We may have gotten together at a young age, but.. We've never had a breakup, and we haven't faded a bit over the years we've had. :)

We have been sexually active for a few months shy of a year now. We waited until we were both ready, and we've used protection each time. We were each other's firsts and of course we haven't been experiencing with anyone else in between. :P I'm the more dominant one of the two of us, therefore I'm what you may call versatile top. He's the more submissive of us two, and he's what he calls, versatile bottom. And he's a cutie pie. :D

My question is, may we make love without condoms? We've both been tested for most major (some minor) STDs/STIs, whatever have you, and all have come back negative. I love my little boy, and I want him to stay healthy and safe no matter what. Aside from his happiness, it's my other top priority. We've followed the 'No Glove, No Love' advice every time..but we'd rather we make love without one. Plus, he's been on my case about making love naturally lately anyway :P (I'll admit, he's got me wrapped around his pinky :P) So, will it be safe to? And please don't lecture me telling me we're too young for this :) And that this is puppy love.. While I appreciate the advice and criticism, that isn't what I'm asking :) We didn't get this far for a quick shag and release of hormones, we got this far because we wanted to establish a physical, as well as emotional, bond with each other. Furthermore, the only thing I'll ever change about my Micah is his last name<3 (*8*) Thank you for reading, and for the advice in advance <3 xx


Then yes You can have sex without a condom. Also being you trust each other, and are devoted as you claim.


STD's don't magically appear. You have to catch them first..LOL

:badgrin:

:kiss:
 
Then yes You can have sex without a condom. Also being you trust each other, and are devoted as you claim.


STD's don't magically appear. You have to catch them first..LOL

:badgrin:

:kiss:
Well of course not :) Better safe than sorry I suppose, in case it was transmitted from our mums or something :/ thank you for your input! <3 x
 
Yes, there's no reason not to. I mean, it's generally more advisable to use a condom during anal sex, as there are some infections you can cause yourselves that way, but it's a minor danger, so I say go for it.
 
Welcome and congrats. If you're both faithful there's no reason to worry. Congratulations to you both.
 
Since you asked this in CO&R not H&W...

There's really not a perfect answer to this question. Too often, sex without condoms gets equated with some sort of proof of commitment or trust- as if barebacking proves that you are in love and are making a commitment. It shouldn't be equated to those things. After 3 years together, it's obvious that there's a commitment.

The problem with barebacking is that it puts your health in the hands of someone else. It assumes that you'll always be faithful and neither of you is or will ever be unfaithful. And this is where it becomes a personal decision.

For every couple that has been faithful, there's at least one couple who have cheated. Sometimes the cheating is intentional. Sometimes it's a slipup. While you may believe it won't happen to you, there are probably plenty of members here who felt that way and who found out that it can happen to anyone.

At the very least, both of you should consider getting immunized for HPV and hepatitis before you take this step.

And if you're going to take this step, you do need to make an agreement that if either of you has been unfaithful, it needs to be discussed honestly so that you can resume safer sex.
 
Thanks for the input everyone xx wasn't sure where the proper place to put this was :/ I wasn't awake of the 'risks' involved. I understand what you are all saying, and this could be a problem if he's unfaithful. I won't say it's impossible, but unlikely. He's very..clingy. He's home all day, and I usually am too unless I get called in to work. He's very emotionally and physically dependent, it's horrifically irritating..won't-get-out-of-bed-without-me type guy. The kind where it's like..he'll wait by the door like a puppy for my return..and when I do, he'll climb all over me as though he hasn't seen me in years. I realize I didn't say this, but we live together, in my home, with a few of his brothers and such. I won't rule infidelity out, and I'll have a talk with him. Thank you all for opening my eyes to that xx
 
Thanks for the input everyone xx wasn't sure where the proper place to put this was :/

Either forum is fine. It's both a relationship issue, as well as a health issue.


I won't rule infidelity out, and I'll have a talk with him. Thank you all for opening my eyes to that xx

It's a talk that every couple should have. Monogamy shouldn't be something that couples assume- it should be something that is agreed to, if both parties want it.

And if you should ever decide to have an open relationship, you should be able to talk about what "open" exactly means.
 
Right, I do suppose it was wrong of me to assume that he is monogamous as well as I. I can easily talk to him about that, and infidelity, but I'm not sure how I would approach the issue of having an open relationship anywhere down the road. I know how he thinks, he'll immediately believe that he doesn't make me happy, that he doesn't deserve me, that I deserve someone better, etc etc.. I don't want him believing that. I don't want to stray from him, I'm not sure how I'll bring it up. Thank you for your help mate :) xx
 
It's not an easy subject to bring up but we often say in these forums, "If you're old enough to be having sex, then you have to accept the responsibility of having an honest discusion about these things."

It's part of the deal.

Since he's already talked about wanting to forgoe condoms, the door is already open for this discussion.

The objective of the talk is for both of you to talk about what a relationship means to each of you, whether you're both willing to make a commitment to being monogamous and what the terms are if either of you is ever wants to make a change the agreement.

You may think that you know how he feels but you won't know until he tells you. And the same is true in reverse- it is your chance to say things that you probably wouldn't just say out loud, otherwise.
 
It's not an easy subject to bring up but we often say in these forums, "If you're old enough to be having sex, then you have to accept the responsibility of having an honest discusion about these things."

It's part of the deal.

Since he's already talked about wanting to forgoe condoms, the door is already open for this discussion.

The objective of the talk is for both of you to talk about what a relationship means to each of you, whether you're both willing to make a commitment to being monogamous and what the terms are if either of you is ever wants to make a change the agreement.

You may think that you know how he feels but you won't know until he tells you. And the same is true in reverse- it is your chance to say things that you probably wouldn't just say out loud, otherwise.
Thank you for all of your help xx :) I talked to him about everything, and it turns out he's fiercely monogamous as well. He reacted the same in both the monogamy discussion as well as the open relationship discussion, and it basically boiled down to him telling me that I had better not even think about straying away from him, or being with anyone else, because I was his and his only. I suppose that's cleared up..lol. Do you suppose there's anything left unsaid that we should talk about? Personal thank yous to everyone that has helped thus far, I couldn't have done it without you xx :D
 
Being able to bareback whenever the sexual urge arises is wonderful. For me feeling my partner skin on skin is amazing. That said, if you decide to lose the condoms you absolutely must have a blood pact whereby if one of you cheats for any reason, it must be protected sex. If you can't trust your partner to abide by this, then you cannot bareback with him.
 
Being able to bareback whenever the sexual urge arises is wonderful. For me feeling my partner skin on skin is amazing. That said, if you decide to lose the condoms you absolutely must have a blood pact whereby if one of you cheats for any reason, it must be protected sex. If you can't trust your partner to abide by this, then you cannot bareback with him.
That's a good point as well, if either of us ever cheat, to at least protect.. I'll have to have a talk with him about that as well. I can definitely trust him :) I suppose maybe one day I'll be able to relate to the feeling of bareback. Thanks for your advice, I would have overlooked the blood pact thing xx
 
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