A smack in the face...

[3nipples]

No, never with someone I was really good friends with... but it happened with someone I thought I was really good friends with and yeah, it feels bad.

 

[gaz6202]

Sort of had it - I recently tried to call one of my high school buddies. I haven't talked with him for a couple of years now. I talked to his Mom, and she was excited to be talking to me and gave me his telephone number. I tried to call 4 different times over about a week. I left messages each time and recognized his voice in the message. He never has called me back. I don't know for sure that he got my messages, but I'm sure that his Mom told him that I had called.

I know what you mean with it being a let down - it doesn't feel very good at all.

 

[lakeud]

Yep, it really sucks. People change and change can hurt.

 

[provenlogic]

that's why you never let people you actually care about fall out of your life. if you care about them, put some effort into it so that it doesn't end up like this

 

[luminum]

I'm sorry man. It happens. There's not much you can do. I've been on both ends of it, though when I'm the bad friend, I never mean it. It's just that some good friends are not as good of friends as others. Sometimes you're very far away and you don't have much to keep in touch about. The time yous pent as good friends was fun when it happened, but lives change.

Just accept that that's happened and move on. Unless it's something you both want, there's nothing you can do to revive it.

 

[spreadeagle]

Well how is it you didn't talk to them for a couple of months or a year? Do you accept any responsibility for the failure to communicate?

 

[VICTORIADON]

Life is an ever changing journey, you have to go with the flow.

 

[unclaimedblessing]

I've had the reverse experience.
I stumbled across classmates.com and wrote to friends from 30 years ago. That led to other neighborhood friends who didn't attend the same H.S.
We all were very happy to touch base again and continue to keep in touch.
The site itself is rather slow and cumbersome but we exchanged email adds and then phone numbers thru it.

 

[onetimething]

I've had the same thing happen to me with not one, but several friends. Over the years, several good friends of mine have simply disappeared. One of my best friends from college, someone I would see and talk to every day, I now have not heard from in almost three years. It's not for lack of trying on my part. I've called and emailed and IMed and gotten no response. I understand people having busy schedules or just being too lazy to respond, but to think that he's been unable to return a single call or email of the dozens over the years, is really hurtful to me. I would take it more personally were it not for the fact that I'm not the only one who he has done this to. He has disappeared from sight from pretty much everyone from college. He made a sudden reappearance a year ago amongst a few friends, myself not included, so I've been able to get a bit of an update on him, and he has a myspace page so I know his location, but at this point, he lives in another country, I don't have his current phone number and I'm not even sure if his email account works anymore. He's engaged to be married. His fiance and I went to school together as well and she has disappeared along with him. Whereas back in the day, he would mention my being a groomsman when he would get married, now, I'm not even sure if I'll get invited to his wedding. At this point, I'm facing the hurtful reality that it's quite likely that I will never see or speak to him again. At least I can rest easily however knowing I've done all that I could to keep a relationship going.

Actually, I just realized I was going off on a tangent from the original topic of the thread. Whoops. Sorry, got carried away with my own hurt feelings. But yes, the situation has also occurred to me where I've met up with people from my past only to be let down by just how remarkably little we had to talk about and how we just no longer seemed to mesh. It's extremely disappointing.

 

[AaronG]

Been there too. Great friends, lots in common, real confidants. Then someone moves, gets a new job, gets really busy, and it trails off. Really disappointing, especially when you first realize what's going on. Hell, I've probably done it to someone else, seeing as I've moved so much recently. Sucks to admit that to myself...

It's hard to let it go, but that's what you've gotta do. Once you're sure they've gotten the message, if they don't respond, it just means that they've moved on. Remember that just because a friendship wasn't forever doesn't mean it isn't worth treasuring.

 

[sebastian-k]

it has happened to me!

she used to be my best friend, she got married with this guy from europe and moved to live with him, the contact between us became weak with the time, her calls and mails became less each time. Then she came back for vacations and that's when it happened, both of us were excited about seeing each other again but we just didn't feel the connection that we used to have anymore, you can perfectly tell she noticed that too. In past we were so close that sometimes when we spoke we said exactly the same thing, same words at the same time (no kidding!), everyone used to make laugh of it. We tried unsuccessfully to re-connect but I guess time and distance change feelings.