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A Small Spark on a Friday Night: Part I
Besides being my 1st JUB thread, this is... I guess you'd call it "wishful fiction." All names have been changed to protect me from lawsuits. Anyway, I'm not sure if I'll continue writing past the 1st part; just want to see how things go. Well, enjoy!
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The knock at the door shook me out of my book-induced stupor. I really liked my Organic Chem class, but sometimes it was just like blunt needles going into my eyes. It didn’t really help either that it was a warm Friday night; the weekend was going to be just as nice, and I didn’t want to spend it here clustered in my room. Closing the book and the notebook app I had open on my laptop, I heard another knock. “Come in,” I said, looking around really fast to make sure my room was clean enough to have company. Unsurprisingly, it was; I’m kind of a neat freak, but I just like to have everything tidy instead of “these MUST be arranged in the order I found them at the store or all will be lost!”
My door opened smoothly and Aiden walked in. He was 1 inch at most taller than my own 6 feet. Short black hair framed his face, and dark eyes gleamed in the fluorescent light. He wore a tight-fitting black tshirt under a short-sleeved green button-down and a pair of jeans. We’d known each other since Freshmen year, but really became friends close to the end of sophomore year. I really liked him, and definitely wanted something more between us, but I didn’t want to risk our friendship. I also didn’t know if he was gay - even if he was, his pretty religious upbringing probably kept him in the closet - and there was no way I was going after him without being sure. Truthfully, though, I was happy being friends. I cared about him, and if that translated to just friendship, I was fine with that.
“Hey. How was class? Busy as usual?” He either smiled (or smirked, I really couldn’t tell), since I only had 2 classes on Friday besides work, which really wasn’t work since I could do homework and fiddle around on my laptop and get paid for it. “Eh, I can’t complain. How ‘bout you?” While I had switched my major from Biomedical Engineering to Anthropology - it wasn’t a good fit, and I wanted to go to medical school far more than get my B.E - Aiden had stuck with it; he loved it while I realized two years in that Anthro was a far better fit. “It was okay. Biotransport went longer than usual, but all in a day’s work. I’m so ready for the weekend.” I chuckled. Despite my lighter workload, I was still pretty busy during the week; I couldn’t even imagine how swamped Aiden often was.
“So, what do you want to do? Movie, game, what?” We got together every Friday afternoon, either to study or have fun. Both of us were single, so that gave us a lot more wiggle room during the weekend. Aiden's smile vanished and he swallowed slowly, clearly nervous about something, but what I had no clue. “Actually, I thought we could just talk. Is that OK?”
I had to admit, I was a little startled. We discussed different things that interested us from time to time, but we never just talked. “Sure, OK. You want something to drink? I’ve got some soda in my fridge.” “Yeah, I’ll take one. Thanks.” I turned around, opened my mini-fridge, and pulled out two cans of Diet Dr. Pepper. Popping the tab on one, I passed Aiden the other instead of tossing it to him. Even though we were a foot apart at most, if I missed I was likely to get soda all over my wall, and I really didn’t want to clean that up; plus Aiden likely wouldn’t let me forget about it.
“So, what’s up? What do you want to talk about?” Yes, I’m *so* witty, but I didn’t think Aiden wanted to beat around the bush at all. A direct approach was definitely best. I gestured towards my bed with one hand, and he sat on it, his feet dangling off the end but not quite hitting the floor. “Well,” he began, taking a sip from his soda right afterward, “there’s really no easy way for me to say this. I’ve been thinking about it for days and--“ he stopped, looking at his shoes. I was really starting to get concerned. Aiden was always upbeat, and him acting this way wasn’t good at all. “And what, Aiden? What were you thinking about?” Aiden just looked at me, or rather past me, his eyes hitting the wall behind my desk. I put my soda on my desk, then leaned forward in my chair. I had an idea about what he was going to tell me, but it was time to let him talk.
“Well, it’s just... well, I mean... I think I’m g--“ He stopped, and just hung his head. He didn’t finish, but he didn’t have to. I knew what he was going to say. Then...
The first sob surprised me, the second was worse, and they just kept coming. I really didn’t know what to do. After what Aiden said, my first instinct was to just wrap my arms around him and hug him. Not a sexy hug, but a firm, comforting hug nonetheless. I could tell he felt trapped. All his life, he had been taught to believe his sexuality was a choice, yet here he was, gay, feeling more scared than he’d probably felt in all 20 years of his life. I know what it feels like to realize that you’re gay and suddenly get this feeling of incredible loneliness, but I could not begin to grasp how much conflict raged within him. I knew he needed me, but I withheld my hug, not sure if it would do more harm than good. This wasn't just a cry, he was outright bawling, uncontrollably. So I got up from my chair and walked over to my bed, sitting down next to him.
“Aiden...Aiden, please, try to calm down. You NEED to breathe. Just...calm down, breathe, and we can talk if you want to.” Aiden struggled to look at me. Tears stained his cheeks, and his hands began to shake. Not like he was having a seizure, but they still shook. I grabbed them, probably more roughly than I should have, but he needed to calm down or he was either going to hyperventilate or pass out. “Aiden!” That did it. His head jerked up, but he still didn’t want to meet my gaze. I grabbed a box of Kleenex from my desk. I pulled a couple from the box, then handed them to him. It wasn’t the best gesture, but I didn’t know what else to do. He took them from me, wiped his cheeks clean, sniffled once, then tossed the used tissues in my trashcan.
