A Spider's Thoughts

[Adrock-JD]

 

[palbert]

Genetic material missing

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

KOOL

ans not a word about

why gay not bifocal straight lemons wot really 18thcentury bottle suckas fa blobs stuck ta their crap cause nanny forgat how travel 200 miles up down corridors of power ta take care da stoopid adults babys

so cause it got spider in it

200 points
ans cause can understand it
100000 million sardines

thankyou

ans communal hug of wet seaweed

 

[ChickenGuy]

I have no issue with spiders - in fact, I like them. I pick them up and let them crawl over my hand.

Wish I had the home video clip uploaded to show you now of when I was in a holiday apartment in the Yorkshire Dales a few years back, and I found a HUGE grass spider in my bedroom, with giant spindly legs.

I filmed it close-up, crawling on my wrist and along my arm.

(precisely because I KNEW that a lot of people would totally freak out watching that)

And, of course, it goes without saying that I never kill them (or any other insects or bugs) and they always get safely put outside.

 

[yummylongsword]

Admittedly, spiders terrify me. There's something so off-putting about the way they move their legs and how they can sit still for so long and then just dart off at any moment. I try hard not to kill them, though, and if they're not in my way then I leave them be. There are lots of little tiny ones that sit in the corners of my house and I'm fine with them, as well as orange ones outside that make webs during the summer (I just clear away the webs as I walk, usually they relocate).

Unfortunately, my house also has a lot of larger spiders. Huge, really, just a little smaller than the size of my palm, I have no idea how they manage to survive in our house. They have a habit of crawling on the ceiling, falling off and then skittering away underneath furniture, it's awful. To top it all off, I believe they might be hobo spiders or possibly wolf spiders, so they're probably fairly poisonous. I try to trap them and take them out, but sometimes they refuse to cooperate and they must be smashed. I hate those stupid wandering monstrosities.

 

[Daximus]

A quick blast from a blow torch disables them instantly without burning anything else.

 

[Corny]

Every know and then there is a spider somewhere up in the high corner of my rooms. If he stays for a few days I'll eventually name him. Only after he left and moved on, I'll remove his web.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Kill it with fire!

 

[Efrackalecki]

I grew up in a house full of brown recluses, so I smush every spider I see in my home. I don't bother checking to see what kind it is first.

I once had a brown recluse crawl across my hand. And my face.

*shivers*

 

[Anders123]

As much as people like to freak out over spiders, they rarely credit them with the insect control that is their evolutionary niche.

God bless the spiders; without them, we'd be overrun entirely.

And what about spider control?

This morning before I went for a ride, I encountered a white tail in my shed (which, despite learning that tales of necrotic arachnidism are considered false, I fled so quickly I left an Anders shaped cloud of dust in my wake). Then not one minute later upon opening my back fence, I noticed a redback but thirty centimetres from my hand. Just a few days ago, I was abruptly shocked from my somnolent stupor by a huntsman larger than the size of my fist conspicuously resting on the centre of my kitchen wall.

I'm always inclined to defend Australia when others proclaim it to be a veritable deathtrap, but when I actually stop to consider how often, even in suburban Melbourne, I encounter some of our most venomous spiders, I actually agree that nuking us is most probably the safest option for the rest of you.

Thankfully, I've only ever holidayed in Queensland, and so don't have to suffer the prevalence of the golden orb weaver, which, in my horrifying experience, has a propensity to construct its webs at head height. Oh yeah, and it has been photographed eating snakes and birds.

How about this one on your arm, ChickenGuy?

 

[Anders123]

I actually agree that nuking us is most probably the safest option for the rest of you.

On second thought, probably not. It may only serve to mutate and anger the hordes of gargantuan spiders that would inevitably survive the blasts and seek revenge.

 

[Puddle]

I suppose I should consider myself lucky that I haven't encountered too many threatening species (or so I think). It's always a special occasion whenever I run into something other than standard pholcidae.

 

[freefall]

BURN SPIDER BURN

 

[ChickenGuy]

How about this one on your arm, ChickenGuy?

View attachment 807114

If you can assure me that it's not poisonous or deadly, will not bite me or paralyze me, and is not aggressive or attacking, then....

....absolutely I would.

British spiders are docile and harmless.

Australian ones? I'd need an identification chart, a safety handbook, and a first-aid kit.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

No. You die. You die or you go to someone elses' house!

 

[teadrinker]

How about this one on your arm, ChickenGuy?

View attachment 807114

I'm with ChickenGuy - spiders are great, and we should be very thankful we have them as biological conrol agents. Anyway, the spider in Anders' pic is a Nephila species (aka Golden Orb Weavers) - they build the biggest and strongest webs of any spiders. Although they are quite big, for spiders, they are harmless to humans. I would guess the snake in the picture is very small - maybe a hatchling.

-T.

 

[Poozy1]

^ No kidding, that thing is fucking huge!!!!

 

[HunterM]

Spider attacks and eats a tree snake link:
Huge spider attacks and eats tree snake in man's backyard

 

[Adrock-JD]

The last one...

Thank you. I'm glad someone got it.

 

[Kulindahr]

I am NEVER going to Australia!!!!

I love you Aussies, but not enough to come and visit!

And I had a friend who visited Australia for a while, and spent ten days backpacking naked along a beach -- got so used to it that when he finally met someone he never stopped to think about being naked. And he hiked naked into the brush a few times....


My room almost always has just one spider up in a corner. I figure as long as he's alive, it means that insects that could bother me are being eliminated.