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A TYRO here

rahulxxx

rahulxxx

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hey all .. i just wanted my way out of a really weird problem..
well . i hope someone might have gone through the same problem as mine .. !
i am 19 and i just came out to my mum . i never realised even if i would talk about it with one prson , it would take the weight of the world off my chest ! But, lately , after my confession , i have been feeling quite alone . i m not out to my freinds . .. but i feel lonely ! VERY VERY LONELY ever since i have come out.. is it that i need to tattoo it on my head , so that i would feel comfortable once and for all ?! coz its driving me crazy .
has it happened to someone else as well ?
i just hope someone could help me with this ....
 
Lonely how? As in you never do anything with your friends? Or that you really want to talk to your friends about it, but feel like you have to keep it hidden? What?

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
Lonely how? As in you never do anything with your friends? Or that you really want to talk to your friends about it, but feel like you have to keep it hidden? What?

Lex
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ya .. i have to keep it hidden .. and i cant come out to them right now. its just that i dont know what their reaction would be.
 
First person I came out to was my mom. That was huge, and like you, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted. That gave me a ton of strength though, because if I could tell my mom and she still respected and loved me then who cares what anyone else thought.

So then I told one more person. I was afraid, I told her and then avoided her for a day because I was afraid of rejection. But, it was all good. Nothing changed between us. If anything, she respected me for telling her and we're still friends 20 years later.

After that, it was like a bursting dam. I told everyone. Any opportunity I could, I let people know. And you know what? Out of all the people I told, and I told a LOT of people early on, I was lucky to not have a shitty experience.

I think it boils down to your real friends not caring what your sexuality is. They like you for you, and you telling them that you are gay doesn't suddenly change anything. You're suddenly not a strange and unusual person, you are still, inside, the person they've always known.

Good luck though! It gets easier. You'll actually be surprised how many people will be "Huh? Oh, ok. No big deal, whatever."
 
thnx every1.. for ur posts ... means a lot...
 
I wouldn't be surprised if one or two of your friends might tell you they suspected but didn't want to bring it up for fear of hurting your feelings. And who knows, maybe one (or more) could be gay as well and you will be able to share some of your "secret" thoughts - what do you think about this guy's ass, etc. It is hard to know when to share, but just let your heart guide you. If your friends are really friends, they won't care. They may be a little upset for a bit that you felt you had to hide it, but they'll get over it.
 
deserter85 said:
A little out of point but... What's a TYRO?
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a tyro is a beginner !
i am very bad at nicknames!
i figured this word was something that would best describe my placce in life.
now i am thinking of changing it to WRAITH KING.but, i guess that would be too strong a transition to accept! :gogirl:
 
Willie Boy said:
I wouldn't be surprised if one or two of your friends might tell you they suspected but didn't want to bring it up for fear of hurting your feelings. And who knows, maybe one (or more) could be gay as well and you will be able to share some of your "secret" thoughts - what do you think about this guy's ass, etc. It is hard to know when to share, but just let your heart guide you. If your friends are really friends, they won't care. They may be a little upset for a bit that you felt you had to hide it, but they'll get over it.
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thnx man. the thing is that i know that they wont. it isnt my pessimism speaking. i just know that. this is how things work here.i have friends who mock gays. mock as in disparage them. that's the scary part. i know i shouldnt be freinds with them anymore. its definitely unethical, if not anything else, to be pretending to be someone who you are not and then listen to people around you, who make fun of your kind! they are not worth it. but its going to be difficlt as hell, leaving them. coz i want to.imy decision is vascillating and i am going (!) !
but whatever its outcome is goin to be, i am doomed to be all alone.. .....!!!!!
 
You are not doomed to be alone. You FEEL alone right now, but that's just because you are in the coming out process. Everyone has felt alone then.

As I wrote earlier, I came out to my mom and then a couple people at a time after that. What I did have to do though, as I lived in an area that was..restrictive..to my sexuality, was find friends in a community that was more accepting.

At the time I lived in a suburb of a small city. I found a friend-base within the city, people who I could be open to without fear of reprisal. Within 2 years, I moved out of my parents place, out of the old community, and I had my own life.

That is the barest skin of my story, but I did what I had to to make myself happy. That was, to relocate myself and generally find a group of people that accepted me as who I was.

Until then, you have your mom and us. You are definately not alone.
 
So keep your old friends but make new ones too that are gay.
 
Thnx again.. all of you .. means a lot . ! trust me .. it means a lot a lot a lot !
 
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